A Trip to Wonderland

A Trip to Wonderland
♥♣ ♦♠♥♣ ♦♠♥♣ ♦♠♥♣ ♦♠♥♣ ♦♠♥♣ ♦♠♥♣ ♦♠♥♣ ♦
♥Tumbling down a tunnel of darkness
♣ Not knowing what I will find
♦A world that turns topsy turvy
♠Once the main guest arrives
♥ I find a Magic Elixir
♣A Piece of chocolate cake
♦That makes me shrink and small
♠And makes me GROW and Big
♥I find a door, an exit
♣ But leads me to an entrance
♦An entrance to a world of Wonder and amazement
♠ I see an invisible cat
♥ With a and laugh that
♣ Just fades away
♦I find a bunch of roses
♠Painted in crimson red paint
♥I see a pair of twins
♣As dumb as dumb can get
♦I find a crazy mad hatter
♠That sips tea from his hat
♥And accompanying him is a rabbit
♣ With his fur As pure as white can get
♦Wearing a shirt made of cards
♠Fidgeting and fussing he’s late
♥I follow him to the Queen
♣She’s short, stubby, and red
♦That commands a deck of cards
♠She took me in as her guest and commanded me to play a game
♥ A game of croquet with flamingos
♣The ball and mallet moved on its own
♦and I had no chance in victory
♠of course I would lose
♥ but I’d try one lucky last shot
♣ I closed my eyes and hoped for the best
♦ it went up down sdrawkcab forwards
♠and stopped right in the goal
♥the Queen was furious and red
♣ “OFF WITH HER HEAD!”
♦she screamed
♠ I guess it’s my time to leave
♥Wonderland is fun and all
♣ But my real world
♦Is where I belong
♠I run as fast as my two feet can handle
♥ But I guess they weren’t as fast as I thought
♣I’m surrounded by a royal flush
♦ I close my eyes for it’s the end
♠ But open my eyes in surprise
♥all I see is meadow
♣ A meadow of flowers and grass
♦ It was all just a measly dream
♠A crazy fun bizarre dream
♥♣ ♦♠♥♣ ♦♠♥♣ ♦♠♥♣ ♦♠♥♣ ♦♠♥♣ ♦♠♥♣ ♦♠♥♣ ♦

Hello here are just a few things that I noticed:

A Piece of chocolate cake
♦That makes me shrink and small - Ok to shrink means to get smaller
♠And makes me GROW and Big - You might want to take grow out of all caps and the capitalization on the "b" in big
♥I find a door, an exit
♣ But leads me to an entrance
♦An entrance to a world of Wonder and amazement -The same for the "W" in wonder
♠ I see an invisible cat
♥ With a and laugh that
With his fur As pure as white can get- as not As
♦Wearing a shirt made of cards
♠Fidgeting and fussing he’s late - maybe add "that"?


It would be a good idea to separate the poem into stanzas so that it doesn't seem so long. And this also needs a lot of punctuation. But overall this was a really great poem. Please keep writing!

Okay, so I am like the BIGGEST Alice in Wonderland fan and I really appreciate any form of art or writing that has to do with it. I like the scatter-brained pattern of lines in this, but I feel like it's missing something...I'm not quite sure what, though.

The poem has good potential. Let me know if you ever re-write it and PM me if you want. Happy writing (:

Good job! All I can say is work on the rhythm. I can tell you read the book though!