Secret Kisses

Okay hi this is Snickerdooly! I only have time for a quick review, I enjoyed this poem and I thought it flowed very nicely. But there were two things that I think should be fixed, the first is the ending I think you should add at least one more stanza to make it more conclusive because I sort of feel there are more thought and or ideas that need to be shared. But this is your piece and that it just my opinion The second thing is the poem got a little confusing I read it twice and enjoyed it both times but still wasn't 100% what the whole story was, so you might want to add more details in order to have your reader understand more of this piece and relate to it and apply it to their lives.
So overall I think you did a good job! You should take in my considerations for thought and decide if you want to fix it up a bit or keep it as is, So thanks for posting I'll have to look out for more of your work!
Peace,
Snickerdooly

Hey! This poem is really good! : ) It had really good rhyme. I don't quite understand the story but thats a good thing, it makes it more interesting and so you have to read between the lines The rythem was really good and it was a great read. You put a lot of emotion in this aswell which I really liked too :] Keep writing! Your really good at it, you make it look so easy

Hi. this was very nice and flowed very smoothly.. though like Snickerdooly i would also say, that adding another stanza would be good.. it is sounding sort of incomplete. thats all i would say, besides it is beautiful!!:)

I like this poem it was really....


Spaced out o.o!
Okay just these paragraph u may want to clear up cause they are confusing!

Lie to your friends

while I pretend to mine

I’ve done nothing wrong

I’ve only lost my mind

You said I was beautiful...

it was what I craved

Now I’m trapped behind these doors

doomed to be your slave



And he'll never know,

his love for me is gold

Will she ever know?

You've said it before

She'll be nothing by tomorrow,

nothing for you to see

I'll be everything by yesterday

In that day I still believe

I like this poem it was really....


Spaced out o.o!
Okay just these paragraph u may want to clear up cause they are confusing!

Lie to your friends

while I pretend to mine

I’ve done nothing wrong

I’ve only lost my mind

You said I was beautiful...

it was what I craved

Now I’m trapped behind these doors

doomed to be your slave



And he'll never know,

his love for me is gold

Will she ever know?

You've said it before

She'll be nothing by tomorrow,

nothing for you to see

I'll be everything by yesterday

In that day I still believe