The Outcast:C2: Sunny Days

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ShadowKnight155
Gender Male
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Wed Apr 20, 2011 2:50 pm
ShadowKnight155 says... · Wed Apr 20, 2011 2:50 pm
TOC: topic79659.html
----------------------------
I like the sunny days
When the warm rays shine.

The water of a hose
and squirtguns.

Mommy makes us drinks
for me and my friend.

Kelsey.

We play with doggy
make forts with our toys.

It's why I love 'em sunny days.

But for every sunny day,
_a cloud hangs over.

Sooner or Later.
Last edited by ShadowKnight155 on Thu Apr 21, 2011 2:40 pm, edited 3 times in total.
By nature, all language is flawed.

"Peace cannot be kept by force, it can only be achieved by understanding," - Albert Einstein
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lele253isme
Gender None specified
Points 1245
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Wed Apr 20, 2011 3:13 pm
lele253isme says... · Wed Apr 20, 2011 3:13 pm
Pretty much sums up what I think when I go outside. I love the last three lines.
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VousEsEtonnant
Gender Female
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Wed Apr 20, 2011 6:15 pm
VousEsEtonnant says... · Wed Apr 20, 2011 6:15 pm
Well then. This is really good. I think the only agitating thing is the first part. The sun is repeated, and it dulls the opening. Otherwise its good. Keep me posted on when you submit the rest. I wanna read it all.
"And when you're out there,
without care, yeah,
I was out of touch!
But it wasn't because I didn't know enough,
I just knew too much."
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