Spoiler
This is a poem written by Baywolf and I for the contest, hope you enjoy!
Dear Porcupine,
Life hasn't been easy,
Being a wolf. We growl
And we snarl in hopes of
Finding love. I'd almost
Given up until I saw you
Over there. You had cute eyes
And really great hair. My fur
Stood on end and I felt a howl
Break loose. I don't know what
Came over me, but I just had to
Meet you. But when I introduced
Myself, you turned your back on
Me and laughed. You said,
"Silly wolf, don't you know,
Porcupines are vegetarian?
We can never be together
Not in this day and age. We'd
Be the laughing stock of the forest,
Not to mention, you're too
Tall for my taste."
I slunk back to my den,
In obvious heartache.
You see - I had put myself
On the line, and you had
Rebuked me. The love almost
Ended right there, but for
A last glimmer of hope.
I realized quite suddenly,
I was a predator and that
Meant I could cope. I would hunt you until you saw
That I was right for you,
But if you still refused my paw
And instead chose another,
I'd probably go insane,
And eat you like the others.
_______________________________________
To Wolf,
Your infatuation is pointless -
That was an amazing pun.
This love,
It is ridiculously stupid.
Do you need me to spell it out?
Number one:
You're a wolf.
I mean, it's just common sense.
How can a dignified creature
Descend to your stomach-brain level?
Number two:
Your height is distracting.
I like the girls with shorter legs.
If I can't look down on you
Then you're just wasting your time.
Now that those are said
I must say one more thing:
Why did you approach so close?
Did you think your fur alone
Could keep all of your flees
Off of me?
So you can just back off;
I saw you flirting
With another wolf anyway.
So back off,
Bother me no more;
And don't think for a second
That I may be
Just a little bit lonely.
_______________________________________
Dearest Love,
I can see that you are distressed,
But do not fear that I will
Let your disinterest affect
My feelings for you. I know
It is just a ploy to make me
Fall further in love with you.
I'm not as dumb as you may
Think with my stomach as a brain.
Yes, I am tall, but all the better to protect
You from the advances of my other prey.
I can smell you, though you may hide,
And no matter how many quills you
Present to me as proof of your enmity,
I will remain in the shadows
Waiting for you to give in. My
Patience is unwavering, and be it a thousand
Moons from now till then, I will stay
And wait for my presence to wear your
Resistance thin. It is a small thing, the
Differences between us, don't you think?
Compared to the changing seasons and waxing
Moon that change my pelt from brown to dusty grey,
And your shiny quills from sharp to dull in
A matter of years and days. Join me, dear
Short one, and waddle the forest paths as I lope
And stay near as your toothy guard.
_______________________________________
To Wolf,
There is no ploy
And if you wish to protect,
Then protect me
From your annoying advances.
I've told you once and
I'll tell you again
That I'm just too high class
For one such as you.
Go find another wolf,
Maybe a nice mountain goat;
They're more your size anyway
And they smell just as badly.
For if you come any closer
Than you did the other day
I'll have to stab you with quills
And once I get going
I don't stop.
The same goes if you look
Through my window again
While I'm on a date
With nice Miss Weasel.
So go on and shoo,
I won't tell you again.
Go find a bone to crack
Or some human to eat.
_______________________________________
My love,
You get me all wrong.
That wasn't me you smelled,
But Miss Weasel's rank musk.
I smell like roses and daisies
In bloom I've been told.
Perhaps you need glasses?
Or maybe you have the flu?
As to the peeping, I humbly
Confess, I was outside your door
But let me digress. You say I am
Foul and worthy only of a goat,
Yet you still exchange letters with me
Despite your proud boasts.
I know you listen at night for the
Sound of my howl and I can sense your
Tiny brown eyes as they follow
Me as I prowl. If you still feel so
Strongly about my presence,
I will leave, but before I do
Let me explain why I feel so strongly.
Your eyes, though minuscule,
Are bright when you grumble.
Your quills are always well-groomed
And they rustle pleasantly like living brambles.
I'm tired of searching for a mate of my own,
I just want someone to help me keep a home.
You don't have to love me
As I've said I do you.
All I ask is that you be my friend,
At least for a month or two.
It's lonely being
A wolf in this forest of ours.
My fellows are
All gone or hunted by man power.
It's sad, I know,
But I hope you'll understand as it is,
I realize you may not change your mind;
If that be the case,
I should confess that
My dinner was quite tough last night.
I had old meat you see.
And it wasn't very good to a wolf
With a delicate stomach like me.
I appreciate your suggestion that I
Eat some man-flesh,
But unlike Miss Weasel,
They are harder to catch.
_______________________________________
To Wolf,
Look here now wolf,
What is all this for?
Can't you tell that I don't want you
Or will this process
Go on forever?
I must admit
That your persistence
Is astonishing.
I thought
You would have moved on
Long ago.
That is an attractive quality
In a member
Of the opposite sex.
Much more so
Than the quality of nagging
That that old
Miss Weasel had.
Alas!
If you were
Of my noble race
I could possibly learn
To stand your presence.
But you must
Be with your own race.
What about that wolf,
The wolf named
Angelo?
I've heard his name
Many a time
Being spoken
With feverish intent.
By my den
Many pass to and fro
Speaking of the wolf
Named Angelo.
So go off and be
With the idiotic lout.
Perhaps you'll be
Happier with some company
That is more your speed;
And maybe
He won't spurn your advances
Quite so much.
By my den
Many pass to and fro
Speaking of this wolf
Named Angelo.
He isn't so great,
Why would they care
About his mangy fur
And finely yellowed teeth?
What about me,
A dignified herbivore,
Whose mother
Says the ladies
Would love to meet?
By my den
they pass to and fro
Speaking of that wolf
Named Angelo.
That's it,
It cannot be so!
You're bad enough as is
Without the influence
Of that uncivilized
And uncouth vagabond.
So come live with me
And I'll show
You how to live
With dignity and grace.
I'll make sure
You become the most
Sophisticated,
Liberated,
Clean,
Good-Smelling
Canine that ever lived!
So come to me
My dear, dear Wolf
And I will show you
The way that life
Is supposed to be.
Please come to me Dearest,
Your love,
Porcupine
_______________________________________
Oh poor wolf,
With your beautiful fur;
What will we ever do with you
And when will you ever learn?
You found your true love
Though he was a bit stuck up.
You even found someone to love you back -
That should have been enough.
Now that you're running around
Wholly content with your work.
I just hope that you
And Mr. Porcupine
Can be together eternally.
You're very close already though,
I'm sure that he's comfortable
In your gut.
