Chapter 5
The next morning he came at around ten. He rang the doorbell just as everyone was about to leave. I answered the door.
“You’re early.” I told him as he kissed my cheek.
“Well, we didn’t really talk about time last night. And besides, I didn’t have anything else to do.” He told me.
“Come on in. everyone’s just about ready to leave. You can go on upstairs while I prepare something for us to eat.” I
told him. “Oh, and be careful when you open the door, Rose likes throwing her things at people.”
“Are you saying she can hit me?”
“No. I’m saying our six-month-old baby has started throwing things and you might slip on some that has landed on your feet.” ‘Our baby’ I thought when Troy finally ascended up the stairs to my room. ‘Our child’ she’s not only just mine, but Troy’s as well. The thought made me happy.
“Alexia, are you sure about what you’re doing?” my dad’s voice pulled me back from my musings.
“Sure about what dad?” I asked him though I had a vague idea of what he was talking about.
“I’m talking about letting Troy back into your life.” He said pronouncing my husband’s name with scorn.
“I’m not actually letting him back into my life dad; rather, I’m letting him into Rose’s life. He has a right to be with her.” I replied seriously.
"Your life is too intertwined with Rose’s.” he complained.
“I wonder if that’s because he’s my husband and she’s both our child.” I replied, sarcasm dripping in my tone. “You know, the guy you forced me to marry just because he threatened you of a pregnancy you weren’t even sure was possible.”
“Because…” he started to say but I interrupted him.
“You did not believe in your own child. You forced me to marry him because you thought I could actually do something like that behind your back, because you thought I was that type of girl and because you never really trusted me.” I said my voice full of hurt and rage.
“How could I not believe what I saw: both of you together on the bed, naked from our point of view?” he asked in exasperation.
“I remember mom and I asking you to listen to my explanation, but you believed him over your own daughter. You didn’t want to hear my ‘excuses’ as you so-coldly told me that day. You want to hear your exact words? ‘I’m extremely disappointed in you Alexia. I thought you were more responsible than this. How could you do this to me, to our family? There is no other choice but to get you two married for the sake of our reputation.’ That’s what you said then when I tried to explain you said, ‘Silence! There is no need for any of your excuses. I don’t want to hear any more of your lies. I just want to know what else you’ve been lying to me about.’” I said, throwing his words back at him. “Remember? Those were your words. The words that you unleashed upon me; upon the child you claim to love.” I finished turning away from him and setting to work on the snacks I was preparing for me and my small family. My mother and siblings were only listening to our exchange. My mom did not stop me from saying what I wanted to say knowing full well that I wouldn’t even if she begged. “You forced me to marry him for the family’s reputation and for the good of your grandchild. You didn’t want our baby to grow up without a father and your solution for that was marriage.” I continued, reminding him of the reasons why I was forced into the marriage. “He forced himself into my life and you helped him do it. Now, all I want is for you to stop making my decisions for me because the last time you did I almost lost my sanity.” And with that, I turned my back on him. I walked past him, nodded a goodbye to my mom and siblings then went up the stairs to my room. I found Rose sitting up in front of Troy. She was throwing her toys at him and he caught them in return. I heard her twinkling laugh and his low-pitched chuckle as I opened the door.
“Hey baby!” I greeted Rose when I came in. “Having fun with daddy?” I asked her. She giggled in response. I put the food down on the bedside table and told him, “Help your self while I give stinky Rose a bath.” I reached out for my daughter and scrunched up my nose, teasing her. She reached out and patted my nose as she laughed.
“Actually, I think I want to see how you do it. You know, so I can learn how to.” He explained as he looked at my questioning eyes.
“I usually take the bath with her because she splashes around too much but I guess it is okay. Just make sure you’re ready to get wet, okay?” I told him by way of a warning. He stripped down to his boxers before following Rose and I into the bathroom. About ten minutes later I was soaked to the skin with both my husband and child laughing at me. I handed Rose to him then asked, “Do you know how to dress a baby?”
“Of course I do.” He replied confidently.
“Then get out and dress her up. I need to finish the bath she gave me.” I said.
“Don’t I get to watch that too?” he asked passion and desire flaring up in his eyes; unknowingly affecting me as well with those few words and the hidden meaning behind them.
“No you don’t.” I said firmly. “Now, out.” I pushed him out the door. Another ten minutes afterwards, I emerged from the bathroom wrapped only in a towel. I entered my room and snickered at the scene I walked into: Troy was having trouble putting clothes on our daughter although he succeeded on putting her diaper on. Her legs were kicking wildly at him and her hands were flailing around as she laughed at her father. He turned to me upon hearing my stifled laughs. His eyes grew large as he assessed my position leaning on the door frame clad only in a towel. I ignored him as I walked towards both of them and knelt in front of my child motioning for Troy to get out of the way.
“Giving daddy a hard time baby?” I asked her as I took her clothes from her father’s hands. With quick and experienced moves I finished clothing her in less than two minutes. I picked her up and then put her into her crib completely forgetting about the other person in the room and my current state of undress. I turned around to go to my closet and get dressed myself, not realizing Rose was tightly grasping the end of my towel.
Our eyes met just as the towel fell to the ground. I stood frozen, my brain slowing down. I couldn’t comprehend what had just happened. I looked down at the fallen piece of cloth that was my only protection against his passionate gaze; I could feel his eyes raking over my body, staring at the smooth contours of my skin. One moment I was alone standing naked in the middle of the room with Troy just looking at me, the next I was in his arms. I could feel the warmth he radiated on my bare flesh as he enveloped me in his warm embrace. He caught my lips in his in a hungry kiss, his hands tracing each line of my body. I responded automatically, my emotions overtaking rationality. My face heated up when his kisses reached my neck and his fingers started forming patterns on my inner thighs, I gripped his arms for support. My heartbeat started racing, I was out of breath, and the blood left my head to go to other places giving me difficulty to think clearly.
“Troy, please stop.” I managed to choke out despite the desire that had begun to drown both of us.
“Why?” he asked as his kisses reached my breasts. I gasped when he took a small bud into his mouth, teasing.
“I-I…” I trailed off as his tongue continued to drive me crazy. “I don’t think… I-I’m ready for this yet.” I finished, desperately trying to make him stop. My head was saying one thing but my heart and body were saying something else. My hands flew up to his head, my fingers holding his face in place.
“I think you are.” He whispered huskily. I felt him smirk as he reached in between my thighs and felt the wetness that had started to form there. I couldn’t stop the moan that escaped through my lips when he touched me. I yearned for more and yet I knew I shouldn’t succumb to him, yet. Desire was overtaking reasoning and I knew within myself that if he didn’t stop any time soon I would eventually let him do what we both wanted to.
“Do you remember that night?” I asked “Our first night as husband and wife?” I continued and he froze. “Rose was conceived that night. It was our first night together and yet I got pregnant. And then, when I told you, you just left.” I reminded him. Tears formed in the corner of my eyes at the memory of his departure.
“You’re right.” He said, resigned. He grabbed the towel off of the floor and passed it on to me. “I’m sorry for trying to push you into doing something you weren’t ready for.”
“I just don’t think I’ll be able to go through that much again and come out still sane.” I said as I wrapped the towel around my nudity. He stood up and looked down on me with sad eyes. He wiped the newly-formed tears from my eyes. I raised my hand and caressed his cheek as I said, “This past year, Rose had been my lifeline. I don’t know what would have happened if she wasn’t given to me. I’m sorry if I’m not ready for that yet.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about.” He kissed me hungrily then gathered up his clothes. “Now can you please dress up? You’re driving me insane.” He said with a teasing smile. “I’ll go change in the bathroom.” He said then went out of the room. I dressed up quickly in shorts and a loose top. He came back a few moments later watching me as I towel-dried my hair.
“So what is it with you and Marc?” he asked his tone casual. “He acts like his going to kill anyone who so much as touches you.” He said thoughtfully.
“Marc… he’s been helping me a lot lately.” I replied. His eyebrows shot up quizzically. “Okay, not lately, ever since you left.” I confessed. “He’s the only one who knows what actually happened, not even my family know about it.” I told him.
“But why tell him and not them?” he questioned.
“He’s the only one who can understand me. Ever since I met him, he’s always been there for me.” I told him sincerely. “Besides, he’s the one who’s known our story from the very beginning. He understood how I felt when my dad forced me to marry you.” Troy flinched at this. “He was the first one to notice I was pregnant. He took care of me. About a month and a half after you left, I couldn’t go to school anymore because my stomach had started showing. He helped my parents with the arrangements in school: he brought the homework to me every day, lessons and sometimes, if the teacher would allow it, even tests. We’ve been through so much together. He’s seen me at my strongest and weakest moments and he’s always been there to lend a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on.” I said forgetting I was talking to my husband about another guy who was not him. “I even slept with him…” I couldn’t finish what I had started to say.
“You what?” he shouted. “Alright, I get it: he’s been helping you a lot. So, what? You repay him by having sex with him?” he asked, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me furiously. “Is that it? Is that the real reason why you wouldn’t make love with me?” he asked shaking me harder, his fingers digging into my flesh.
“Of course not!” I retorted. “I already told you the reason why.”
“Don’t lie to me!” he screamed.
“Troy, stop it.” I begged. “You’re hurting me.” I pleaded but he wouldn’t stop. He was consumed with jealousy. His grip tightened and he pulled me closer towards him. He kissed me ferociously; his kiss giving me pain more than anything else. I didn’t want them to but the tears fell one after the other as realization hit me. ‘He doesn’t trust me.’ I thought to myself. ‘He thinks I’m the same as other girls to go traipsing around, jumping in bed with other guys just because I’m
not a virgin anymore.’
As suddenly as it began, his onslaught stopped. He had tasted the salty droplets that had fallen to my lips as he was kissing me. His grip loosened and he let me go. His fingers frantically brushed away the remaining tears from my face as he looked at me desperately looking for a way to apologize.
“How could you even think I could do something like that?” I asked him in a small, terrified and hurt voice.
“I-I-I really don’t know what to say.”
“Maybe that’s because you didn’t let me finish.” I snapped at him yet my voice was weak. Suddenly I felt drained, like all the energy had seeped out from my body without me knowing. I turned to the crib so he wouldn’t see the effects of what he had done to me. My hands trembled as I grabbed the crib for support but my legs just couldn’t keep me up. My legs buckled and I started to fall luckily Troy’s reflexes were fast; he was behind me in the next instant his arms around my waist to keep me standing.
“Are you alright?” he asked worriedly as he turned me around to face him. He put one of his arms under my legs and carried me to the bed. He laid me gently on top of the sheets then sat down on the edge. “What happened?” he asked, his forehead creased with worry.
“I’ve just been feeling a little weak lately.” I answered, trying to sit up. He helped me sit up and then he put a pillow behind my back for support and comfort against the headboard. “Now where was I?” I asked.
“Well… um… you said that you even slept with him…” he said.
“Ah yes! What I was going to say was that he had watched me sleep…” he cut me off.
“But you said…”
“What my exact words were supposed to be ‘I had even slept with him watching over me and Rose.’ That’s what I was going to say before I was so rudely interrupted.” He looked at me with relief. “I had been feeling sick a few days before that. I think Rose was just about two and a half months old then. I couldn’t go to school and I was having difficulty taking care of Rose in my weak state so he volunteered to take care of both of us. I had a fever that night so I couldn’t really do anything alone. He stayed over and then he even skipped school the next day.” I explained.
“Okay, I guess. But that still doesn’t explain why he’s so protective of you.” He finally said after considering everything he had just heard about Marc.
“Now, about that you’ll just have to ask him.” I replied. “Although maybe it’s just because he doesn’t want me to go through that again.” I said as I speculated. While I was talking I hadn’t realized he had moved in front of me, watching me as I spoke.
He sighed heavily, “Hey, Al?” he called to me. I looked into his eyes.
“I really am sorry.” He said as he reached for me.
“I know; me too.” I said just before his lips claimed mine in an urgent kiss. I didn’t hesitate, I responded with the same urgency. And with my response he got bolder. Before long, he had pushed me down on the bed. I knew then that there were no more restraints, it was going to happen. His arms left my back and followed the line of my sides as he looked for the hem of my shirt without breaking the kiss. When he finally found it, his fingers caught the fabric and he was just about to tug it upwards when Rose cried. We both froze; his lips stilled on mine then he sighed fanning his sweet breath on my face.
“I love you.” He whispered.
“I love you too.” I replied without pause. He smiled at me before he rolled off of me. I got up and went to Rose’s crib. I cradled her gently in my arms and brought her back to the bed.
“Lunch time already baby?” I asked her, she cried louder.
“I guess that’s a yes.” Troy said chuckling.
I sat down on the bed, held Rose with one hand, slipped off the left shoulder of my top with the other to reveal my breast. I held Rosalie’s face in front of it until her tiny mouth found my teat and she greedily sucked on it. I wiped away her tears and smiled as I watched her.
“How long does she have to nurse?” Troy suddenly asked.
“It depends on her although now she can take the formula, she just doesn’t want to.” I said smiling at him.
“I really did miss out, didn’t I?” he sighed deeply; regret clear in his tone.
“Stop that!” I scolded him. “There’s no point in wallowing in regret. You’re here and that’s all that matters. You will make up for it won’t you?” I asked to reassure both of us.
“Of course I will.” He said confidently. He moved next to me and leaned on the bed being very careful not to crush Rose. He touched his forehead on mine and looked me straight into my eyes. He kissed me passionately. No more words were needed, our kiss sealed his promise; it was then an unbreakable vow. The rest of the day we spent together as a whole family.
Oh and i love the way you describe everything in a way soo real 