Priyansha risking embarrassment

Poem No. 1: Title

When a poem, I sit down to write,
A title for the poem, I have to find.

Should i write about the ponies who hopped all day?
or about the grouches who were happy and gay?

About a puss who lost its boot?
Or about a hunter who couldn't shoot?

About a fat, green and clumsy otter?
Or about the swimmer who was afraid of water?

Should I write about the runner who was lame?
Or about the archer who couldn't aim?

Title, title, which title to choose?
Maybe about the quacking goose?

About the fairy who couldn't so magic?
Or about the comedy which was tragic?

How about the dinosaur who found friends in flies?
Or about the clown who always had tears in his eyes?

About the mathematician who didn't know how to add?
Or about the scholar who was half mad?

About the chess champion who didn't know the pawn?
Or about the gardener who never saw a lawn?

Oh! I've lost hope, I cannot write;
'Cause it's a title, I cannot find

Sorry for the stupid poem, i was feeling very sad today.

Poem No. 2: Lost friends

Faces fade away,
names are forgotten,
old photos in old albums
start meaning nothing,
promises are dismissed
as childish and trivial,
and phone numbers and email IDs
lie forever in a desolate corner.

Slowly you start building
this empty space around you,
till one day you find yourself
in a dark daunting room.
You can't see anything at first
but then your eyes adjust,
and you find yourself alone
in a dark daunting room.

There are no walls around you
and no roof above you,
nothing near you and
nothing in the distance.
So you try to scream and
shout and howl and shriek,
so that someone may hear you
But not a sound comes out of your mouth,
it's as if you are in a vacuum

Still, you scream and shout
and howl and shriek
hoping, pleading, begging, praying
that someone would hear you.
You scream and shout
and howl and shriek
till your throat becomes hoarse,
but no one hears you

No one answers back,
no one comes to fetch you,
all that is left
is you.
Lonely
dejected
defeated
you

I absolutely loved your first poem! It was cute and creative. I never know what to write about half the time too. Ahahaha. The only mistake that I found was:

About the fairy who couldn't do magic

I think you meant to change to "so" to "do".

Other than that I have no complaints!


I liked the story of your second poem, but I felt like the flow was off in some places. Most of it was fine but some examples where I thought it was off were:

and phone numbers and email IDs

But not a sound comes out of your mouth,

hoping, pleading, begging, praying

This 3 lines just seem a little bit too long. See if you can alter or shorten them at all.

Otherwise the poem was really good

Keep up the good work!

This one's incomplete but I'm going to post it anyway.

Poem No. 3: Rebels

Since we're born, we're taught
to accept and conform,
to abide, to bear
to not question the norm

But today I ask that
that just because a law
has been prevalent since forever,
does it become free from flaw?

History has witnessed that when people revolt,
Even monarchs and colonisers are shaken.
Revolts fired with indignation have always
defeated tyrants in this world God forsaken.

We're born with innate inquisitiveness;
It's our instinct to inquire, investigate, doubt.
Even in the past when we've not liked something
we've done more than just sit and pout

Yes, initially insurgents have had to
fight the whole wide world.
It was insurgents at whom orthodox,
opinionated, complacent opposition was hurled

Still history has honoured those
who tried to change the status quo,
who dared to swim against the current
who refused to go with the flow