Fall to rise Again

Wow. That was a beautiful poem. I liked the metaphors you used to show how you must always have hope. It really touched my heart. Love it! Keep writing

I thought that was really good! The only thing that kinda stuck out at me was how you used falling on your knees twice. That didn't seem to me like something that sounded good repeated in that poem, but it's not like you have to agree with me or take my advice. I just thought that seemed a bit awkward. Other than that, though, I loved it! XD

I do like it, I like the rhyme scheme, but I do have a few things I'd like to point out.

We build our empires hoping to impress our friends
We've forgotten how to inspire those who fall to rise again I love it
Oh my God, You've built this world to shake You set up a theme here but don't follow it through and don't fully explain yourself. What's shaking? Is this good or bad? Why is it shaking?
So I think it's time to leave my doubt behind What doubt? Where did it come from? Why is it here?

I would swim in the deep
and the calm of the sea Lines too short, throws the rhythm off, try adding something.
even if it brings me to my knees
I won't give up
I will only believe I like this, it's inspiring

I will trust in something way beyond myself Why? Who/what?
Like the wind that moves the leaves
I will fall on my knees You've already used "knees" in the stanza above to rhyme with "seas." Try to mix it up, sounds too repetitive.
And pray to inspire those who fall
And then to rise again
Free to believe I have done all I can

Live your life with a hope
that who you've known then
Will will be inspired to rise again Will will?
Then you will understand
That it's worth raising your hands

**Great job, it's a great start to an even greater potential

I liked this. The title caught my eye and I loved how you incorporated the image of some higher power affecting the narrator's life. Seems like you put alot of effort into this and you definatly deserve all the likes you get. I hope to see more of your work to soon! Sorry I wasn't much help but I really liked this. I don't think you have to change anything. xxxxxxxxxxxxxMatt