Black and White

This is a first draft of a poem that I wrote in the last 15 minutes or so of chemistry a few days ago while we were taking notes, so my attention wasn't completely on it, so constructive criticism would be helpful .

Looking down from a starry sky,
I see the darkest depths of night
that brings about the blacks and whites
that can't be seen otherwise.

I can see all right and wrong.
I can pick the weak from the strong,
but I can't live among them all
cause I'm among the stars.

Is it right that I can see
what's wrong with everyone but me?
Maybe I just want to be free
from this evil cursing me.

Up in the sky
I see darks and lights,
but try as hard as I ever might
I can't see inside of me
To see what I'm doing right.

Criticize is all I can do.
I can tell you what's wrong with you,
but I can't see myself at all.
I could be a giant or two feet tall.

So is it right that I can see
what's wrong with everyone but me?
Maybe I just need to be free
from this evil cursing me.

I really enjoyed this poem! I think that the idea and story were really good and interesting. I just have two small suggestions:

but I can't live among them all
cause I'm among the stars.

You used "among" two times in a row, it's really not a big deal but if you chose a different word for one of the lines I think it would sound better.

Up in the sky
I see darks and lights,
but try as hard as I ever might
I can't see inside of me
To see what I'm doing wrong or right.

I'm not too sure what it is, but there is something off about this stanza. I think it's because you tried fitting too many words in it, causing the flow to be off. I just had trouble as I was reading it, but then again that could just be me.

Great work, overall!

Looking down from a starry sky,
I see the darkest depths of night
that brings about the blacks and whites
that can't be seen otherwise. This line is an example of loss of rhythm. It would work if the last line of every stanza were like this, then it would be constant. But choose one. (7 syllables)

I can see all right and wrong.
I can pick the weak from the strong,
but I can't live among them all
cause I'm among the stars. Here, different rhythm to above.. (6 syllables)

Is it right that I can see
what's wrong with everyone but me?
Maybe I just want to be free
from this evil cursing me. But here you are back to the same as stanza 1. Choose one! (7 syllables)

Up in the sky
I see darks and lights,
but try as hard as I ever might
I can't see inside of me
To see what I'm doing wrong or right. Why suddenly 5 lines? Stick to 4 lines. If you want this stanza to "stick out",it's not working. Stick to 4 lines or make it completely different. IMO

Criticize is all I can do. Weird rhythm here again.
I can tell you what's wrong with you, Same
but I can't see myself at all. Nice.
I could be a giant or two feet tall. I think you can do better than this piece of imagery. And very off rhythm.

So is it right that I can see
what's wrong with everyone but me?
Maybe I just need to be free
from this evil cursing me. Good. I like the repetition.

Loved this poem. Seriously. I don't say that a lot. There is a lot of potential here. I would say you have a good outline, and now you really need to refine it. Make this diamond shine. Seriously. Wow.

OK let's start nitpicking a little bit. My edits above will relate to below.

A few things bothered me (meaning they got in the way of it being a really enjoyable read):
Rhythm: Was off at times. This, for me, is the biggest culprit here. Get the syllables in each line the same to make it read nice and fluid. You generally use the same number of syllables, but wonder off at times. This is the easy way out! Don't! There are poems which don't need rhythm, but this one benefits from it. Keep it the same. Change words around, replace them, etc. until you have the same syllables. Maybe the line will be even better!

Imagery: You can do better! As mentioned above, the giant and the two feet tall isn't very striking. I immediately thought, "there has to be a better example than that".

That's all for now. These were my suggestions. Work on it because it has the potential to be great. Your message is tight and hits home in almost every person I think. We can always judge other people better than ourselves.

Awesome job! Keep writing!