Laziness

There are those days where it may seem
I could sit back, relax, and just day-dream,
Then kick my feet up to the desk,
And reminisce; “I should not rest”.

I SHOULD, goddamn, be doing something.
My mind it races, thoughts are running.
I feel like being so productive!
Laziness is too seductive.

My legs they lead me to the fridge,
My tongue it shakes, like savages,
When it sees the sav’ry sight
Of crunchy chocolate delight.

I then walk back towards my seat,
Devour this here tasty treat,
I slump back down into my chair,
And stare into the barren air.

My fingers scratch my hairy head,
My thumb it wiggles as I fret
Upon my lousy attitude.
Please forgive me, I’m not rude.

So forget this productive thing,
Eating, drinking, listening
To music is all that I need.
Ev’n if they be the sinful deeds

That send me down someday to hell:
Oh well.

danipower0204 wrote:
Sometimes I feel like doing nothing.
Sit back, and relax, with arms all floppy, This doesn't fit.
Then kick my feet up to the desk,
And reminisce; “I should not rest”.

I SHOULD, goddamn, be doing something.
My mind it races, my thoughts are running.
I feel like being so productive!
Laziness is too seductive.

My legs they lead me to the fridge,
My tongue it shakes, like savages,
When it sees the sav’ry sight
Of crunchy chocolatey delight.

I then walk back towards my seat,
Devouring this here tasty treat,
I slump back down into my chair,
and stare into the barren air.

My fingers scratch my hairy head,
My thumb it wiggles as I fret You completely abandoned the rhyme here.
Upon my lousy attitude.
Please forgive me, I’m not rude.

So forget this productive thing,
Eating, drinking, listening
To music is all that I need.
Ev’n if they be the sinful deeds

That send me down someday to hell:
Oh well.

It was a good upbeat poem, and enjoyable to read. There was some promblems with your grammar, I pointed those out.

As I always say in my reviews, this i smy opinion, this is your work. You can take my advice, or you don't have to, it's just there.


HorsebackWriter

its really good i like it keep it up

I actually liked this a lot and can relate to it sometimes. Which I'm sure just about everyone can relate to being lazy now and then. Although I never see laziness being seductive, it's more like an emotional dragging, in which we are pulled into being lazy. When I read seductive to me it means that it's desirable... being lazy to me isn't desirable...it's depressing.

But this poem was very well written.

Thanks for your comments, guys!