Her Mask (Poetry Pairs Contest Entry)

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Authors' note
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Hello, everyone! This is the poem that Daisuki and I have written together for the Poetry Pairs contest. It's a little rough right now, so we hope that you help us make it shine! (Don't let the length scare you.) Thank you in advance for any reviews.


Her Mask

Dawn's light shines through a window,
and glints off her porcelain mask
A cover so cheery with synthetic joy,
in the light of day it shall bask

The mask's red lips slowly upturn
into a fetching white smile
She lets out a regretful sigh:
this facade must stay for a while

With only Him seeing who she really is,
she goes about with her life.
Her burden grows more suffocating
yet she continues to hide her strife.

What do her friends think of her?
All they see is white.
Her missing colors only show
when it's finally night.

As the sun sets in the west,
her mask crumbles south.
The smile reverses.
A cry leaves her mouth.

Her hands muffle the cry:
she doesn't want to be heard.
To think what her mother'd say...
would she believe a word?

You're useless you're rotten,
these thoughts assail her mind,
Everyone knows you're weak.
She gasps, "Am I losing my mind?"

She can't explain her reasons,
for these dark thoughts deep inside,
but this black is getting heavy,
and soon she can't abide.

She sees that morning's come again,
She puts her mask together.
She holds her breath and counts to ten.
She says this won't last forever.

Walking back from school at dusk,
her heart dissolves like foam.
The mask is slowly slipping now...
Can she make it back home?

Sinking to her knees,
The sidewalk shines with tears,
Her breath exhales in rasps,
this realizes all her fears!

You're weak, you're worthless,
those words all press her down,
If insults were a tidal wave,
then she would surely drown.

She tries to put the mask back on,
but her face is too contorted.
Without her mask to cling to,
hope of happiness is aborted.

A shadow falls above her
suddenly from behind.
She braces for malicious looks,
but instead sees something kind.

A face is now right next to hers,
and it whispers with a sigh:
"Why put yourself through such hard pain?
Why do you stand alone to cry?"

Something clicks inside her head,
she hears that taunting voice.
These years she had convinced herself,
pain was the only choice.

The person sits beside her,
and he's a boy that's just her age,
but there's a wisdom in his eyes,
that reminds her of sage.

Suddenly she feels defensive:
"You just don't understand!
You don't know what I go through...
Sometimes I can barely stand."

"It feels like life's against you,"
the boy did interrupt,
"and what you say don't matter,"
"because you aren't 'good enough'.

"But listen for a second,
because you know this isn't true.
You have your family and friends
looking out for you."

And then her eyes did widen,
as his words sank in her heart.
Had she wasted life just suffering?
She felt as she’d fall apart.

But he put his hand on her shoulder.
It was enough to keep her sane.
She realized she must keep moving forward
if she was to live again.

It took awhile for those words
to sink down to her heart,
but she began to break the mask,
that tore her life apart.

Now her heart has been opened,
The joy let out to shine,
She rushes out to meet her life,
and leaves guises far behind

The mask lies lonely in a corner,
its call no longer heeded.
The want to hide cast far away,
false fronts no longer needed.

--

Thank you for reading and reviews are much appreciated. And if you liked, hit the "like" button. It always means a lot.
Last edited by Esther Sylvester on Tue Apr 05, 2011 10:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
It's writing prompt week on my blog a very random pickle!:
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Awwwws that made me cry T.T it was amazing and I can't find anything that needs fixing. Good luck and Happy Writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Soukana<3
May the gentle moon take you into peaceful dreams. May the mighty sun brighten your new days.




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I love it. There are times when I feel like the way the character did so I can relate to it.
A job well done!
Writing is not simply 'telling', it is also 'showing'. ~ Yanni1995




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This is such an amazing poem! This is the best I have read in a while. I can really sympathize for the MC and feel her pain. It made me cry! </3 T.T
Keep up the good work!
❁❁❁

be still, sad heart, and cease repining
behind the clouds is the sun still shining




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Yay! Thanks for posting this and for working out the little rhythm problems. It flows much better now. And thank you to the people who left comments! I'm glad you like it!

-Dai
Last edited by Daisuki on Wed Apr 06, 2011 12:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Oh, I wish I was punk-rocker with flowers in my hair.



If you have a Kuzco in your life and they don't turn into a llama, bail.
— Alan SeaWright