Do Not Give Up

****I just felt I needed to post something, so this is what I came up with. Hope it's ok (:


Do you ever feel alone?
Like you're so fragile,
Numb down to the bone?

Trusting no one
Feeling Nothing
Except the pain when you slit your wrist

Do you eer feel so cold?
So lonely?
Like no one could possible understand you?

Death seems like a good fix
The cuts are getting deeper
Soon enough death seems to be the only answer

But do not give up
Not yet
Wait for me to come and help you

Do not feel alone, for I am here for you
Do not think no one understands, because I do
Do not commit suicide, I will miss you

Ok I have a few corrections to point out first ^^ Don't feel bad everyone makes errors even me XD

Do you ever feel alone?
Like you're so fragile,
Numb down to the bone?

Trusting no one
Feeling Nothing
Except the pain when you slit your wrist

Do you eer feel so cold?
So lonely?
Like no one could possible understand you?

Death seems like a good fix
The cuts are getting deeper
Soon enough death seems to be the only answer

But do not give up
Not yet
Wait for me to come and help you

Do not feel alone, for I am here for you
Do not think no one understands, because I do
Do not commit suicide, I will miss you

Was it suppose to be ever? And I think possibly would be better than Possible...but thats all I found.

ON TO MY THOUGHTS:
I think this was AMAZING and very dark but also makes me happy slightly so thats good. I think you did amazing and can't wait to see how you keep going for I'm sure you''ll come along great. Welcome to YWS and feel free to message me if you need something ^^ Good luck and Happy Writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Soulkana<3

Oops, yeah it was supposed to be ever. And I meant to put possibly, sorry.
Thank you for the review I really appreciate it.

qt11596 wrote:****I just felt I needed to post something, so this is what I came up with. Hope it's ok (:


Do you ever feel alone?
Like you're so fragile,
Numb down to the bone? I think 'all the way' would work better in place of down.

Trusting no one
And Feeling Nothing
Except the pain when you slit your wrist

Do you ever feel so cold?
So lonely?
Like no one could possibly understand you?

Death seems like a good fix Just asking, fix to what? Pointing that out might give this piece some more depth.
The cuts are getting deeper
Soon enough death seems to be the only answer

But do not give up
Not yet
Wait for me to come and help you I don't think you need 'and' here.

Do not feel alone, for I am here for you
Do not think no one understands you, because I do
Do not commit suicide, because I will miss you

OK, you don't have to do anything I pointed out, because those are just my thoughts on the piece. Honestly, it's good without the changes, I'm just saying that it could be better with them.