This is my late night thought process of my life. While I thought of this, I was listening to Death Cab For Cutie. Please Please Please, comment or like this. It will make me extremely happy. even if its a one word comment. I love feed back. ok enjoy:
It's 11:11 and I'm laying under the covers in my fathers disoriented house that he beg's me to call home. I want to make a wish, but as I think about what to wish for, I realize I contain a Lack of Color, and I start to think about my life. I start to think about my past. I start think about the relationships I lost. It's a subject I ponder almost everyday. My body starts to lose connection with reality as I drift into my thoughts. It pains me every second I think about it, but who knows For What Reason, I follow it. Without even the closest thought of Tomorrow.
I start at the beginning, With my first girlfriend. I think of the start, of when I first asked her out. to the peak of our relationship, and end with our final words. There was nothing too big to mention, considering it was only a first girlfriend. The day we broke up we exchanged Fake Frowns. I continued this thought process for every slight playground crush.
They all seemed to be the same. They would feel like a new Lightness upon my life, but it never lasts. I stayed on one girl for about twenty minutes (with the time factor involved, I had to.) I thought about her in depth, With every memory coming back to me like a dream I had the night before. I started with how it began. I asked her out foolishly over a text message, and for some reason, she said yes. then I thought about the highlights of our time together. I remember specifically When we were in New York for our one year anniversary and I gave her a golden necklace as we went down the escalator to the subway. She was my first love. We released our Summer Skin with one another. I told her we'd be together forever. We had everything; We had love, hope, memories, trust, and Stability One day, I told her "I Will Possess Your Heart" One year, five months, and twenty-six days later, we had A Movie Script Ending. That day haunted me forever. I still regret it to this day.
I finally move on. After passing several girls, I reach my most recent one. We got in a fight a couple days ago, and I've been pleading for her forgiveness day in and day out. We've had a few memories together, Like the Photobooth, where we took at least four strips of pictures containing our youth. I told her I Will Follow You Into the Dark. Another regret. I made a mistake that I'll dread for as long as I have committed it, like a felon.
After ten crushes, five infatuations, three cries, countless sighs, and one "I love you too", I sit in this empty room telling myself Someday You Will be Loved. But after so many blows to the heart, love starts to get Different Names for the Same Meaning.
As I reminisce, I feel like i'm in the Passenger Seat looking though my Hindsight. I think about every single aspect of this subject. I tell my self that everything happens for a reason and a higher purpose. I can't help but think of the negatives though. The bare thought that I've passed love over a dumb mistake. a dumb mistakes that resulted in Your Bruise. Why? Why do I do this? This thought circles my mind numerous times, like a track runner shouting for their time. I have my whole life to live, I'm 16, why am I regretting so much now? These thoughts burns at me like Grapevine Fires, and I realize, My Heart is an Empty Room, and I want to drown myself Underwater.
As my Soul Meets Body I feel nothing. My soul has eaten away. I lay silently in the pitch black room. I let out a big sigh, The Sound of Settling, and try to Sleep Tight. For I know I will restart this routine tomorrow night, like every other night.
Yes, Death Cab For Cutie rocks. I can relate to why it'd make you write something like this. Music is so influencing.
thanks for the review, i'll be sure to review for the mistakes.