Need Help with Title!

3 posts
User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 18
The crops in the fields sway,
As I walk through, lost in thought,
I hear the creatures at the end of day,
Returning to nests, to their loved ones.

Sky splashed with pink,
Hills rinsed with blue,
Horses stop to drink,
In the delights of the view.

As I climb the rugged stone stair,
Of life’s harsh pathway,
I look down at where I stood there,
Lost, confused; unloved.

I remember my grief,
At his passing,
His life so brief,
So swiftly cut short.

I’m nearing the top now,
Of that harsh stone stairway,
And I wonder how,
I climbed without a fall.

Relatives, friends
They all kept me there,
Always there, a hand to lend,
I was so ungrateful.

But now he is dead,
I realise what he did for me,
My life is a shimmering thread,
Soon to be cut away.

Now I’m at the end,
The view is great,
But I know, just round the bend,
He awaits; my friend.

As I try to round the bend,
Of the harsh, ragged trail,
So eager to observe the end,
I slip and slide from that pathway.

Down I fall,
Into the abyss.
It is dark.
There is no escape.
From the shadows a fire shall be woken
A light from the shadows shall spring
Renewed shall be blade that was broken
The crownless again shall be king
J.R.R Tolkein




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 202
I tend to name my poems after the line i feel stands out the most. With your poem i think you should call it

Sky splashed with pink, hills rinsed with blue

These were the most imaginative 2 lines in the poem in my opinion. I really liked the way your poem starts happy and colourful and then goes dark and sad slowly. This was a great technique and really helped grip the reader. :D
Real poetry are those with the best words in the best order

~~~~~~~~Mandy~~~~~~~~~




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 890
Reviews 18
Thank you for the comments! :lol:
Not sure the title works for me but nothing else is coming so....
From the shadows a fire shall be woken
A light from the shadows shall spring
Renewed shall be blade that was broken
The crownless again shall be king
J.R.R Tolkein



It's Monday and you folks are beginning to wonder about the show, aren't you
— David Letterman