An Ode to lost love.

Hey there, Reebz!

Your poem was nice and easy/enjoyable to read. However, you have some spelling/vocabulary mistakes. Here they are, I've written them in bold the way they should be:

First stanza:

Eyes fixed on the same old girl, dedicating that same old song,
First love ain't forgotten so easily, you see

And the second and the last one:

His world - a fading dark mirage, and he's just the lonely figure
The Ode he's dedicated to love now lost, he'll continue playing
No giving up whatsoever.. This guy, he ain't no quitter

It's short. I like it. One thing though, even though it's a poem it's good to have proper punctuation. A poem is like prose, they both have sentences. I love the imagery in the poem and think that it would be nice to see it expanded. Why was his heart torn? What happened to him? Why is he on the street corner? I want to know more. It's good though. Keep writing!

I like this a lot! I must admit that I feel Schadenfreude towards the poor loser.
Anyways, you start off with an 'And' which is never a good thing to do, especially at the very beginning! 'And' implies that you are adding something on to a previous idea, but there was no previous to add on to! Try fixing that.
Great work!
Jenth

Hi there. Lavvi in to review.

It's a soft, short poem, but straightforward. Little fluff. But, of course, fluff is good sometimes

Some have mentioned the fact that you've used the slang "ain't", but personally, I think it's good in the poem. It adds its own character, and not all the time you need to abide by proper English rules. I never use "ain't" myself, but sometimes it is good for a change. I strongly hope that you do not change this, because it keeps the flowing beat of the poem.

Lavvi