Through the Mist - Two

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Chapter One can be found here - topic77802.html
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Through the Mist


Chapter: Two


Guinevere froze at Gideon's words. A small, hopeless part of her strained towards what he said, wanting with everything in it for them to be true. Eyes narrowed in suspicion, Guinevere crushed that part, and hissed, "Kethry's dead, he has been for four years now,"

"To you, perhaps, just as you've been kidnapped for the past four years to him," Gideon sighed. The vampire didn't know what had drove him to seek out the white stone bridge, just as he didn't know what had drove him to the basement where he'd found Kethry four years ago, only that that drive was the same, "I tell you no lies, Guinevere, Kethry is alive and well, and searching for you,"

Gideon sighed again as those piercing pale eyes narrowed even more and the girl shook out the waist length tresses of inky black curls the same texture and shade as her brother's. Gideon didn't lie to her when he said that Kethry was alive and searching for her, thinking that Guinevere had been kidnapped after their tormenters beat him unconscious. It was obvious, however, that Guinevere wasn't about to believe him without proof when she retorted with, "Sure, and I still believe in the Easter Bunny and Santa, and that prick Cupid for good measure,"

"I can understand how this must seem, but you must believe me in this, Guinevere, I can take you to him if you wish,"

"Like i'm going to go anywhere with you!"

"Hmm... " Gideon closed his eyes, trying to think of something that would convince Guinevere. Granted he could simply call up The Homefront and have Kethry talk to her, but he'd rather earn her trust without having to use that blasted cell phone thingy the others demanded he get. Gideon wasn't even sure that the thing was charged anyways.

Guinevere had stopped moving back at this point, the formerly dead part of her that wanted this man to be true was back in full force, refusing to let her move until she knew for sure. The man closed his eyes and Guinevere relaxed a little, her hand back up, rubbing the smooth metal and smoother stone of the dragon pendant. When the man's eyes opened and fell to the necklace Guinevere dropped it like it was burning, scarred he'd notice how much it meant to her and take it.

"Ah yes, your brother's pendant. He named it didn't he? Just as you named that stuffed wolf, what was it now? Dim- something..."

The air rushed from Guinevere's lungs, for a moment she was certain that her heart stopped and her blood froze. How could he know about Dimitri, the small stuffed timber wolf that had been a present from Kethry when they were twelve. No one but them knew about it, much less it's name. Guinevere's eyes widened, and that damned part of her soared at the man even while she ruthlessly tried to explain it away, "D-Dimitri. How?"

"You know, Guinevere, i've been saying it this whole time after all,"

"It's impossible,"

"You hear voices in your head and see into the past... Is your brother being alive really that implausible?"

The fight left Guinevere, her arms dropped to her sides and her neck sagged down, raven hair falling in front of her face, hiding the tears gathering in her eyes from Gideon's view, "How?"

Gideon frowned at the defeated, scared, yet burning with wanting and hopeful tone. Sympathy filled his voice as he gently explained to the frightened girl, stepping closer to her as he spoke, "I cannot image how much you've hurt, Guinevere, but think back to that night - did anyone check for his pulse? or anything of the ilk and pronounce him dead?"

"N-no, but there was so much blood, and Kethry - Gah, his body was just... a mass of twisted exposed muscle and broken bones.... How could he have lived through that?"

"I found him," Gideon wanted to wrap his arms around the shaking girl but held himself back, knowing she'd not welcome it, "Much like i've found you. They'd left him, unconscious and nearly dead, true, but not so far gone from this earth that i couldn't save him," Gideon decided not to describe just how he'd done that, the girl had had enough shocks already without learning that vampires excised, "I didn't even know about you until he came to a few nights later, screaming for you and begging me to not harm you, since you'd not been there when I got there we assumed you were either dead, or kidnapped and being held somewhere,"

"And assumed the latter," Guinevere whispered, "Is he... Is Kethry alright? Do you know where he is? I-if this is true... Can i speak with him?"

Gideon wondered what he'd done to deserve this, but he found he could not deny the girl and nodded his head, "My phone is with my car, if you would accompany me there. Kethry should still be up, but i fear we must hurry,"

The rising sun was getting higher and brighter and though his body could handle the early morning rays, Gideon could still feel the slight tingling burn to his exposed flesh and his eyes watered in the bright glare, plus he had yet to feed and if he had any hope of doing so before he must seek shelter they'd need to get to the plane soon. Dully, Guinevere nodded, following behind him quietly, her hand never leaving the dragon pendant with it's black and red bloodstone hanging from around her neck.

Guinevere wondered if this was some cruel cruel joke, and that dreaming, hopeful part of her whispered that it wasn't, that Kethry was alive and now they'd be able to be together again. Mostly though Guinevere worried that this was some horrible dream that would end too soon, then another part of her, the very logical part that normally ruled in her mind, pointed out that it was a dream like that that had drove her out here in the first place. By the time that the duo rounded on the birds egg blue mini limo Guinevere was so tense and ready to scream that she didn't even notice the absurd coloring of the vehicle.

Gideon chuckled as Guinevere eyed his car yet said nothing, thumb running over the dragon pendant in fast small circles. Silver eyes hopeful yet refrained, as if preparing for this to all be a lie, she met his gaze and said with a tear chocked voice, "Now, please,"

"Of course," Digging in the glovebox Gideon prayed that the cell phone was charged, and seeing that it was struggled to find the contact list and find the number for the Homefront. A minute later he felt a tap on his shoulder and Guinevere's concerned voice.

"Uh, dude, are you alright?"

"Yes, yes, of course dear, i just don't happen to know how you work this damned thing!" He handed it to her, hopeing that she would know, "Ducky has told me a million times how to do it, something about a contact menu and then finding the name that the numbers und-"

"What's the name?" Guinevere asked, already having pulled up the required menu though she'd stumbled a few times thanks to her shaking hands and unsteady fingers.

"Homefront,"

"G-got it," Guinevere said hesitantly, pressing send and then bringing the phone to her ear, breath held in anticipation as it rang once, twice, three times, by the fourth Guinevere was giving serious consideration to screaming when all of a sudden a voice floated from the other end.

"Hey Gideon! What's up? and where are you, we're all worried you left in such a rush!?" The high pitched, sweet voice said quickly.

"Ah, i, uhm, is Kethry there?" Guinevere whispered, willing the girl on the other end to answer back.

"Uhm, yeah, just who are you and how did you get Gid's phone exactly?" Suspicion dripped from the voice and others joined in the background.

"He-he gave it to me, I'm... I'm..." Guinevere almost couldn't say it, fear overwhelming her and she nearly dropped the phone.

"Yes? You're, what? or who? You know, your name. Like I'm Ducky-"

"Guinevere, my name is Guinevere, Guinevere Von-Blae, please please tell me this Gideon dude isn't crazy and that Kethry's really there!!"

All noise on the other end stopped, someone - most likely Ducky - sucked in a breath. Then suddenly the sound of the phone getting wrenched from the girl's hand was followed with a deep, hesitant voice whispering, "Gigi? Is that really you? Guinevere?"

"K-Kethry?"

"Yeah, yeah Gigi, it's me,"

Guinevere didn't fight as everything from the past few hours caught up with her, crashing over her like a wave and dragging her under into the deep, dark, and calm nothingness of unconsciousness.
Last edited by DrakoeIrene on Tue Apr 05, 2011 9:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"If you seek to master others, you must master first yourself"




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Omg! That is so sweet, finally gig talked with Kethry and
found out he was alive! That was a good conclusion to the chapter (:
I likes the dialogue between Gideon and Gigi (:
The dialogue didn't seem forced at all and I also liked how she tok her time
believing him because after all those years she though Kethry was dead :D
This is really sweet and a great piece of writing (:
Keep writing it
<3
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Hi there! Pink here!

I'll be doing a quick review for you today.
I like this story, it seems like you have a pretty decent idea of where you're going and what you're trying to accomplish so thumbs up for doing that. I know some who write but have no clear idea where they're headed and it shows in their writing but yours isn't too sloppy so I like that. ^^

Now, you still have a few errors with punctuation and dialogue that need to be addressed. First of all, you're putting commas where there shouldn't be commas and not capitalizing your "I's". Look through your work and I'm sure you'll find those little mistakes. Take some time before you post to review your work and catch little things like that so it's easier for the reviewers to focus on the story rather than the punctuation. lolol

Since I did notice some grammar errors and punctuation mistakes, I'm going to give you a link to the writing forums in which you can browse through. They have some great, helpful topics that will give you a simple, yet understanding view proper grammar and punctuation. They've helped clear a few things way back when I was a new writer and I'm sure they'll help you in return. ^^

-Writing Tuts
-Grammar & Research

Overall, it's a good start but still needs some brushing up. Your characters seem well enough but I haven't read the first part of this so I won't comment much on that part. Continue writing and if you have any questions just pop me a message. ^^

All the best,
-Shear
There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
-W. Somerset Maugham



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