The Angel's Cry

Sorry that this isn't great. It's just something I wrote to get me back onto YWS.

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Have you ever hear an angel cry,
while it sang it's mournful tune?
It shatters more than glass and stone,
but your very soul.

Never will I be the same,
for it's tune had drawn me in.
It's taken all my breath away,
and left an empty shell.

Fear the sound of an angel's cry,
and it's lost forgotten words,
for even as the angel weeps,
it breaks what you truly are.

Nice, a very sweet little poem. As i don't know that much about poetry myself i will make this one quick! In general it's a decent poem but the rhythm seems to be rather broken in the first section. The last section clashes a little with the rest. But this seems to improve as the poem goes on. i really love the last stanza, it ties everything together very well, there is a great sense of symmetry.

Good work!

this suck! wheres the talk about guys! D:

I can't find anything wrong with this poem. Except for maybe you can specify the angel's gender. But it's still a pretty good poem if you keep it as 'it'. I just think that the angel should have a gender, that's all.
Overall, I think this a very good poem.
Good job .

A tad short but really good.
Enjoyed reading it.

Hello there.
I'm Ehte here for the review.

Have you ever hear an angel cry, Have you ever heard an angel cry,
while it sang it's mournful tune?
It shatters more than glass and stone,
but your very soul. This line is shorter as compared to the rest of the line and so it totally destroys the flow of the poem right at the first stanza. Better work on this.

[Never will I be the same,
for it's tune had drawn me in.
It's taken all my breath away,
and left an empty shell.]This stanza has a good flow which compensates the previous disaster.

Fear the sound of an angel's cry, sound and cry together doesn't sound good.
and it's lost forgotten words, and it's long forgotten words,
for even as the angel weeps,
it breaks what you truly are.

Keep writing.

Have you ever heard an angel's cry, --either "an angel's cry, or "an angel crying"
while it sang its mournful tune?
It shatters more than glass and stone,
but your very soul.

Never will I be the same,
for its tune had drawn me in.
It's taken all my breath away,
and left an empty shell.

Fear the sound of an angel's cry,
and its lost forgotten words, --its = possessive pronoun (my, yours, hers, his, its; it's = it is (I wouldn't have insisted on this, but I see that you've made this mistake a few times)
for even as the angel weeps,
it breaks what you truly are.

Other than these mentioned abve, good job! Like ehte said, keep writing!