The Crystal Heart [Story is done, critiques needed]

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Sorry. But because I have joined HubPages, I must remove my works from any other site they show up on. If you would like to read any of my works or Five Months, please go here: Lisa Cooper's HubPages
Last edited by LisaMCooper on Thu Jul 14, 2011 9:57 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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"You know who protected me back there? Fez."
"Well of course he did. He had to. He's Batman!"




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Hey there, :]

“I am stealing your heart,” the thief replied calmly, not even looking back at me as he lifted the crystal heart from its pedestal.


I was slightly confused at this point, however it somewhat cleared after a few sentences. Maybe a few more context clues could help that? Then again the mysterious factor is delightful.
Other than that the story was very well written, your characterization of the two is impeccable. I really enjoy seeing that you used two stark, contrasting characters, but meshed them so well. :]


~ Angel




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HEY! So, I had to review this, because, you see, the topic ID is my zip code (crap, I shouldn't have let that slip...)

So, honestly, I really liked this... It was different, it was interesting... it was French! Cool... I, uh, don't have time for a real review, but yes, I liked this quite a lot.

I'm sure this didn't help you at all, sorry DX

--
Tabby




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TabbyGirl wrote:HEY! So, I had to review this, because, you see, the topic ID is my zip code (crap, I shouldn't have let that slip...)

So, honestly, I really liked this... It was different, it was interesting... it was French! Cool... I, uh, don't have time for a real review, but yes, I liked this quite a lot.

I'm sure this didn't help you at all, sorry DX

--
Tabby


Haha! No no, its quite alright! I actually found your comment amusing. :) And thank you, I needed that laughter and I thank you as well for the nice comment. :)
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"You know who protected me back there? Fez."
"Well of course he did. He had to. He's Batman!"




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 2
Um I was wondering what this is going to develop into??? I mean yea I have to admit it's pretty darn good. But what is it meaning??? Her heart is getting stolen by some guy but it really isn't going anywhere yet I need more . . . It has lovely potential though.
I wish I were a kid again because skinned knees are easier to fix than broken hearts



“It doesn’t matter what you are, it only matters what you do. It’s your choice.”
— Sam Winchester