Spoiler
And this is why I despise Pop music so much. 
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Please comment!
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Don’t get me started on…
Pop. Short for the term popular music or a word to describe what my eardrums do whenever I hear this particular music genre. You know, the same old repetitive whiny vocals, speedy talking or so-called ‘rapping’ and computer generated beatbox that’s ALWAYS on the radio. It seems that artists, more well known as ‘popstars’ these days, have nothing to sing about apart from love, break-ups and partying. Is this really all that their lives consist of?
Correct me if I’m mistaken, but surely you must possess some form of talent to be classed as a ‘popstar’. I suppose you think that artists in the music industry these days write their own chart-topping hits? Well if so you’re wrong. Imagine that yet another glamorous, ditsy popstar manages to get a number one single. The name on the front of the CD…the artist’s. The person who the majority of teenagers fantasise about…the artist. The one who gets payed a ridiculous sum of money every week for records, merchandise and concert tickets sold…guess who? The artist. Whilst the fortunate artist is casually accepting all of the credit, the poor songwriter is sat behind a desk penning yet another hit for someone else’s benefit, hoping that fame will soon come their way. How unfortunate.
So, the contented singer commits plagiarism and lives happily ever after. You think it stops here? Wrong again. In actual fact this is the least of the sneaky popstar’s crimes.
Picture this: you’re standing amongst a sea of anticipated fans in a giant arena. The atmosphere’s electric and everyone’s chanting out the name of the star they’ve been waiting to see. You’re their biggest fan, you’ve obviously known about them decades before anybody else and coming to see them perform live is the cherry on top of your fanatic cake. Live. If only. Suddenly the lights dim and the crowd roars with applause as they march out onto the stage. Oh, he’s looking great. His hair’s windswept across his face which is hidden by a pair of pricy designer shades. He’s dressed to perfection…you stare at him and you can’t find a single fault. And then, he raises his microphone to his face and the backing track begins to play, crystal clear. He opens his mouth and…he’s missed his cue. He shakes his head in embarrassment as his own voice continues to belt out the lyrics, without his mouth even moving. Finally, it’s his turn. His dirty little miming secret has been discovered just at the pinnacle of his career. He’ll receive a few boos and a humiliating front page article in a trashy magazine but nothing too major. Nothing compared to the punishment I’d give if things were my way.
If I had to pick the most infuriating thing about Pop music it would have to be the fact that it’s taking over the world! I’m unable to switch on the television or radio or open a magazine without either hearing an aggravating Pop song on an advert or reading about some Pop star who’s divorced their gorgeous footballer husband. No offence, but I’m not going to waste my time sobbing over a photograph of the hottest upcoming Popstar leaving a takeaway with a ketchup stain on the front of their upmarket, stylish new shirt.
I mean, it’s even impossible to go to school without hearing about Pop. The constant, ‘have you heard you know who’s amazing new track?’ and ‘you really need to listen to this Pop sensation’s new album!’. Yes, it’s a tiny bit cruel but I often resist the temptation to turn around and say, ‘mate, you really need to listen to some proper music.’
And the main cause of Pop’s rise to power? Reality TV shows. Every Saturday night the nation tunes in to watch contestants murder some pretty good songs. Why? Because it’s entertaining? Or because we’re all trapped in Pop’s bubble and there is absolutely nothing else decent on television? We’re all brainwashed! Even worse the judges con the nation by saying that the performances were ‘sensational’ and ‘you deserve to be in the final’ and ‘that was the best performance of the night!’ in order to fool vulnerable people to waste their money on voting when in actual fact nothing in the Pop world is real and therefore the results of these shows are most definitely rigged.
But the one thing that makes my blood boil more than anything is the way that people in the media refer to Pop groups as ‘bands’. The definition of a band is several talented people who can write their own music, sing live and possibly play an instrument. Pop groups however follow the usual criteria of a Pop act by refusing to write their own music and sing live. Plus, personally I’d find it extremely tiring to go to a Pop concert because watching three or four dolled up people stand on a stage and just mime for a couple of hours is definitely NOT my thing.
Anyone in their right mind would agree that standing in a buzzing crowd, practising air guitar at a Rock concert where the band sounds incredible live is a much more inviting experience. It’s obvious that the night was genuinely amazing when you leave a concert and mean It when you say ‘that was immense’ not even bothered by the fact that you’re drenched in sweat and various other concoctions.
And, if the lead singer was to miss their cue or forget their lyrics it would be taken as a pinch of salt rather than being scribbled all over the tabloids because you wouldn’t notice – the whole vibe would be quite frankly out of this world.
So, after my desperate plead to stop the Music Industry from being taken over by the excruciating world of Pop, if you still believe that Pop is popular then be warned…guitars and skinny jeans are out to prove you wrong!
