The Blue-Gum Tree

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The tall blue-gum tree
covers me with a blanket
of lavender
as boughs sway in the wind
and leaves fall on me
I lay there put,
under my natural
duvet,
and then i think
I dare to think
That this is when I'm
at my best
when pea-green caterpillars
climb and nap
upon my chest
when ladybirds dance on
my skin
and butterflies
kiss my shin
he grasshoppers, the hummingbirds,
the candy-scented bees,the leaping
crickets, the humble frogs
all come to say hello
and now I know
that life for me
is best under
the blue-gum tree




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Have you considered turning this into a song? I think it would do very nicely that way, if you can do it.

A few minor typos:

and then i think
Capitalize "I."

he grasshoppers,
I assume you "the grasshoppers."

Then, this bit confuses me a little:

I lay there put,
under my natural
duvet,


Mainly - what do you mean by you "lay there put"? You lay there put under your natural duvet, I would guess, in which case delete the comma after "put," and if you meant something else then...I guess try to clarify whatever the something else is?

Also, I think it's a little weird when you start rhyming, starting with the line "That this is when I'm/at my best" - because the poem doesn't rhyme at the beginning, so the rhyming stands out a little too much once it comes in, know what I mean? If you want to rhyme, rhyme all the way through, and if you don't want it to rhyme, don't rhyme.

But over all I thought this was a lovely piece, I really enjoyed the imagery I got from it!

~Blue



I think the best thing about making it into the quote generator is when nobody tells you, so one day you're just scrolling and voila, some phenomenally inane thing that crawled out of your dying synapses and immediately regretted being born the second it made contact with the air has been archived for all time. Or worse, a remark of only average inanity. Never tell me when you've put me in the generator. Pride-tinged regret just doesn't taste the same without the spice of surprise.
— SirenCymbaline