The Greatest Matchmaking Challenge Ever: Ch. 5 (new!)

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Author's note: This is the fifth chapter to my romance novel. It is slightly larger than the ones before it, but that was necessary to make it coherent. Please enjoy and reviews are much appreciated!

Chapter Five: Interruptions


Alex stood outside Anita’s guestroom, his fist poised in preparation to knock on her door. He had definitely not planned to go and apologize to her. In fact, he was well against it. Alex was positive he had never apologized to a princess that he had offended, but Jean was determined to break that streak. Alex let out a small growl and glanced over to see that Jean was still watching him. Jean had single handedly forced Alex to dress properly, and then dragged Alex over there, his eyes blazing the whole time. Jean still stood directly behind Alex, preventing any chance for escape. He couldn’t remember Jean ever trying so hard to keep a princess in the castle.

“Well, are you going to knock on her door, or are you paralyzed with fear?” Jean said quietly.
“Actually, I am. Perhaps I should just go to my own room and prepare for the feast tonight,” Alex answered.

“You know as well as I do that you aren’t going to the dinner tonight without the princess accompanying you, Alex.“

“I suppose I should just starve, then.”

Jean tugged Alex away from the door and looked at him so sternly that Alex had difficulty remembering that Jean was actually in a lower class position than he. Jean looked like he was going to give Alex a speech about how obstinate he was, but instead he said simply,

“Please.”

Alex averted his eyes away from Jean’s, his heart filled with guilt. This was the man that had taken care of him all of his life, certainly more than his own father ever had. Jean had sacrificed hours of his life teaching Alex, protecting him, and telling him which direction to go whenever he got lost. And yet here Alex stood, refusing to do the simplest task for his long time friend. Alex ran his fingers through his dark hair and rolled his eyes.

“Fine, fine! Just don’t expect anything formal,” Alex said.

Jean smiled and patted Alex’s shoulder.

“I knew you had it in you. Dinner is in about thirty minutes so you don’t have to stay long anyway,” Jean said.

Alex nodded and faced the door. He knocked it two times and stepped back, waiting for an answer. A few seconds later a small voice answered, “Who is it?”

“It is Prince Alex. I have come up here to apologize,” he said.

“I thought you were too stubborn to apologize,” Anita answered through the door.

“Will you just come over here?” Alex said.

The sound of small footsteps pitter pattering across the room behind the door grew closer, and with in a few seconds the door cracked open, Anita’s watery eyes peering through.

“Well?” Anita said.

“Don’t you think you should let me in?” Alex asked.

“No. Why, hello Jean. Nice to see you again,” Anita said.

Jean smiled and bowed courteously.

“No offense, princess, but it would better if Alex could actually see your entire face. He doesn’t do this whole, “apologizing” thing often,” Jean said.

“Very well, “Anita said agreeably. She opened the door fully and leaned against the door frame, her eyes slightly red from all the tears of frustration she had shed. He noticed that she had let her hair down, because her dark brown waves now spilled over her shoulders luxuriously. Alex took a deep breath and said,
“Princess Anita, I am sorry for the things I said back there. It was very impolite of me. Now if you will excuse me I must be on my way-“ Alex’s exit was interrupted by a sharp tug on his ear. He cried out and saw that Jean had a solid grip on it.

“I don’t think that was a proper apology, Alex.” Jean said coolly.

Anita folded her arms and shook her head in agreement.

“Well, what else do you want me to say? I said I was sorry,” Alex complained.

“You could say it like you mean it, for one.” Anita said.

Alex shoved Jean away and straightened his collar in an effort to regain his princely composure. He took another deep breath and said, almost in a whisper, “I’m sorry.”
Anita smiled politely, but her eyes shone mischievously.

“For what?” she said.

Alex grimaced. The girl was taunting him! Wasn’t she aware that he had more authority than her? Jean suddenly looked at his pocket watch and declared rather dramatically, “Oh my! It looks like I must prepare for dinner. Why don’t you two sit in Anita’s guest room until you come to an agreement?”

“No!” the two royals shouted.

“Oh, come on. You must be tired from your trip, Anita. Alex is tired as well. Right, Alex?” Jean said.

“Well actually I-“

“Very good! Now go on and sit!” Jean said. He nearly pushed Alex into the door frame, causing Alex to get closer to Anita than he preferred.

“I suppose I am rather tired…” Alex said. He quickly side stepped Anita and walked into the room. Anita followed cautiously, giving a suspicious gaze at Jean, who only smiled like a fool. Alex leaned against the stone wall and watched while Anita grabbed a chair.

“Okay, now you two make up now,” Jean said. He began to shut the door quietly. Alex motioned sharply and said, “Now you don’t have to close the-“

The door slammed shut.

“…door.” Alex hadn’t remembered Jean interrupt him so many times in a single day. Jean must be pretty flustered, Alex thought. Guilt seeped through him again. He didn’t say a word until Anita cleared her throat.

“Well, after that interesting intro, I guess we must get down to the business,” Anita said.

Alex arched an eyebrow.

“Business? I thought I was here to apologize,” he said.

“You were. But we both know that apologies won’t work because you’ll just try to hurt my feelings again. So, I’ve developed compensation.” Anita said. She stood up from her chair and walked over to a dresser and picked up a piece of paper. She walked over to Alex and handed it to him. Observing the paper, Alex was hit by a strong smell of wild flowers and honey. Anita smiled sheepishly.

“I spilled perfume on it. But it’s dry now. Go ahead and read it.” Anita said.

“What is it?”

“It’s a contract.”

Alex remained his quizzical expression as he read the paper out loud.

The Contract, By Anita Isabella Corin, Princess of Flowers. Quite an elaborate title,” Alex said.

“I thought it sounded more official like that.”

“I see.” He continued reading.

As you know by the time you are reading this letter, I have come to be offended by you behavior. However, I simply could not deign to give up now in my efforts to become engaged, so I have created some things that will allow us to tolerate each other’s existence. My, tolerating your existence sounds quite wonderful,” Alex said.
Anita nodded, not noticing Alex’s jab. Alex read on.

In order to make the courtship follow through, I have decided not to interfere with your personal affairs. That means you can do all the things that you like to do, and I will not comment on them, and or slap you for them. Well, I suppose that would be nice.” Alex said humorously.

Anita nodded again.

“Keep reading,”

In exchange for my tolerant behavior for your actions, I expect these things from you: One, you shall not call me mean names. Two, you will have to bathe at least three times a week. Three, you will have to call me beautiful every day-Wait, why would I want to call you beautiful every day? That’s time consuming. “

“You can call me pretty if you want. That has one less syllable than beautiful.”

“Very good, I may like that-Wait!” Alex threw the paper down, “What one earth am I
doing? I am not in the mood to make a silly agreement!”

Anita folded her arms and scowled.

“If we are going to make a relationship work, we must have-“

“I don’t want to be in a bloody relationship with you! I haven’t even agreed to court you!”

“But you will have to court me. Or else I-“

“Or else what?”

“Let me speak. Oh, never mind, I don’t have to explain myself to you!” Anita shouted. She stormed off to the window.

Alex frowned, puzzled by her behavior. Alex walked over and gazed through the window too, wondering what Anita was staring at so intensely. Her eyes looked so serene to him; it was like they were magic.

“Why did you go through all the trouble of writing that?” Alex said in the calmest tone he could manage.

“I just thought maybe I could get to you if I let you know that we don’t have to have anything personal,” Anita sighed.

“Why?”

Anita sighed again and faced Alex, her eyes shimmering with something he didn’t understand.

“Let’s just say I need this marriage, to make myself redeemable in the eyes of someone I care about.” Anita said quietly.

Alex was now incredibly confused. He was eager to learn more about her, to know what she was feeling, but he knew that he couldn’t risk growing closer. So guiltily he only said,
“Well, you aren’t going to get married to me. Sorry to pop your bubble.”

Anita turned away from him.
“Just leave, then.”

Alex sighed. He had accomplished what he wanted to: He had not repaired the damage that he had made. Yet why did he feel so empty now? As he edged closer to the door, he looked behind himself to see that Anita was looking back at him. He touched the door knob and turned it.

The door didn’t budge.

Alex tried again, pushing his weight against the door, but the door didn’t move. Cursing under his breath, he realized that Jean must have locked the door. He knew the tricky advisor was up to something, but he had not guessed that it would be something like this. Anita was furious with him; he did not want to be stuck with her angry emotions. Yet a part of him still wanted to know more about the princess. Anita noticed Alex as his face paled and felt a small twang in the pit of her stomach.

“Prince Alex, why are you still in here?” Anita asked nervously.

Alex slowly drew away from the door.

“Now Anita, I don’t want you to think that I’ve done anything but…” Alex said cautiously.

“But what?”

“Yeah…We’re locked in.”

Anita’s face paled and she and Alex both stared wide eyed at each other. Anita broke the silence with a screech.

“What? How is that possible! I thought that-no! I have to make a good impression at dinner tonight. I can’t go home after one day! What am I going to-“

She hadn’t noticed that Alex had drawn closer, and when her rant was interrupted when Alex held a finger to her lips.

“Shush.” Alex said. He walked over to the window and pushed against it, causing it to open with a creak. He leaned forward out the opening, as if he was going to jump.

“Good Lord! What are you doing?” Anita exclaimed.

Alex examined the drop below. It was a solid two and a half stories down, but a vine trellis crept down the wall all the way to the garden below. The vines looked sturdy and climbable to Alex, who had experience climbing such things to escape an early bed time. So they weren’t stuck up there after all. Alex let out a sigh of relief. He turned and saw Anita banging against the door.

“That door is made of solid oak, Miss Anita. And no one can hear you because they are all getting ready for the dinner,” Alex said practically.

Anita let out a groan and banged harder on the door. He walked over and grabbed Anita and dragged her over to the window. He pointed towards the vines, and then the ground.

“There. We can climb down the vines to the garden below. No worries.” Alex said.

Anita went all wide eyed again.

“Um, don’t you think we can just try to knock down the door?” she asked timidly.
Alex shook his head.

“I’m not all muscle you know, and besides, this would be faster and less messy. Come on!” Alex pulled Anita closer to the window.

“No!” Anita screamed. She drew back and realized that she had just made a fool of herself.

“I mean…It’s just that I am afraid of heights. There! I said it,” Anita said.

Alex stared taciturnly at her for a moment, and then broke into a fit of giggles.

“What? What’s so funny?”

“Oh, it’s just so interesting,” Alex said in between laughter, “That a girl who can stand up to a prince, slap harder than a man, and attempt to break down a door in one day is scared of heights!”

“It is not! I am seriously frightened.” Anita said.

Alex’s face cooled.

“Well, I guess there is no other way then,” Alex said. He turned around so that his back was facing hers. “Hop on my back and I will climb you down.”

Anita gasped.

“But I couldn’t possibly-“

“It’s not like I am doing this because I want to! Just hop on!” Alex said. He bent over slightly and wriggled his rear. Anita stifled a giggle.

“How do I get on?“

“Just wrap your arms around my neck.”

Anita drew closer and wrapped her arms around Alex’s neck closely, and let out an exclamation when put his arms behind him and pushed her up his back. He blew a spare strand of hair out of his eyes.

“Never thought I would give a piggy back ride to a full grown princess,” he murmured.

“Are we going down now?” Anita said, feeling awkward.

“Yes, just hold onto me tightly with your legs and your arms. I have to use my hands to climb, you know,” Alex said. And he began to climb out the window.

Anita looked down and gasped, immediately regretting it. She felt a wave of dizziness overcome her and she gripped tighter around Alex’s neck.

“Hey, Anita! I can’t breathe! Just take a deep breath and close your eyes, okay?” Alex wheezed.

Anita took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She buried her face into Alex’s neck, taking comfort in the warmth and strength it provided. Alex did not take comfort in it at all. The feeling of her soft skin against the nape of his neck was so distracting that he almost forgot to put one foot below the other and slipped. Anita let out a scream which nearly broke Alex’s ear drums. He managed to grab hold of a strong vine and pulled himself to the wall again, sweat pouring from his forehead.

“Alex, are you doing okay?” Anita whispered, her lips grazing his ear. Alex let out a frustrated whimper of how obliviously she was distracting him with her-well, herself.
Just one foot under the other, Alex. Just one foot under the other, he thought.

“Maybe you should take a deep breath. That helped me,” Anita said.

Alex obeyed and then regretted it as he took in the dazzling smell of her skin. How was she managing to distress him so?

Just one foot under the other-wait. Is it one foot over the other? Good Lord, I have forgotten how to climb! Alex thought. He desperately clung to the vines and tried to calm himself. It wasn’t too far a drop now, maybe he could just leap for it.

“Are you okay?”

“Don’t talk!”

Alex was alarmed when he heard the sound of the vine which he was holding onto snap. He let out a scream as they plummeted to the ground. It was barely a moment before they hit he ground with solid thud. Because her back had been the one facing the ground, Anita thought she would feel a lot of pain first, but she only landed on something warm and firm. She opened her eyes to see that Alex was underneath her, his cheek bleeding from a scratch he received from the fall. His eyes were closed.

“Alex! Prince Alex! Are you okay? Tell me you’re okay!” Anita screamed. She rolled off of him and put her heart to his chest. He let out a cough and grimaced, his eyes still shut.

“I am so not okay,” he said.

Anita giggled hysterically and wiped a stray tear from her eye. She rolled back onto the grass, where they both laid in calm silence.

“I can’t believe I let you do that,” Anita said.

Alex chuckled.

“You’re welcome.”

“I wonder who locked us in.”

Alex frowned and sat up, wincing from the sharp pain that shot up his back.

“I have a pretty good idea,” he said, his eyes angry.

Anita sat up sharply.

“Good grief! The party! We have to go now and get ready!” she said.

“I think I will just lie here and eat this delicious grass instead.”

“Oh no you don’t. Come on now, we can’t miss it.” Anita said. She helped Alex stand up
and was caught off guard when he teetered over and leaned on her.

“I am still hurting, you know. I need support, here.” Alex said.

Anita smiled and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. She walked him to the castle, where they could at least rest slightly and prepare themselves for the events ahead.

Had either one known what would happen at dinner, the two might have just retreated to their rooms early.
It's writing prompt week on my blog a very random pickle!:
http://veryrandompickle.blogspot.com/




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Hey Esther! I read the last chapter and this one. They were both great.
Esther Sylvester wrote:Had either one known what would happen at dinner, the two might have just retreated to their rooms early.
Great way to end this chapter. You're doing well with the characters, and I'm still hooked on the story. Haha, I can't find nitpicks in your chapters anymore! :D I think I remember finding one minor thing on the first read of this, but I can't find it now. It probably was a typo.
Keep up the good work, haven't got much more to say!
~KD
Perfect things in life aren't things.
Spoiler
*_______*




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Hey Esther!
Here to review, my hecklberry friend 8)

Alex stood outside Anita’s guestroom, his fist poised in preparation to knock on her door. He had definitely not planned to go and apologize to her. In fact, he was well against it. Alex was positive he had never apologized to a princess that he had offended, but Jean was determined to break that streak. Alex let out a small growl and glanced over to see that Jean was still watching him. Jean had single handidly forced Alex to dress properly, and then dragged Alex over there, his eyes blazing the whole time. Jean still stood directly behind Alex, preventing any chance for escape. He couldn’t remember Jean ever trying so hard to keep a princess in the castle. You tend to say Jean's name an awful lot here! Try varying the sentences a bit. Instead of saying 'He couldn't remember Jean ever trying so hard... e.t.c. Write 'Alex couldn't remember him e.t.c.

“Well, are you going to knock on her door, or are you paralyzed with fear?” Jean said quietly.
“Actually, I am. Perhaps I should just go to my own room and prepare for the feast tonight,” Alex answered. Full stop here

“You know as well as I do that you aren’t going to the dinner tonight without the princess accompanying you, Alex.“

“I suppose I should just starve, then.” No need for comma here

Jean tugged Alex away from the door and looked at him so sternly that Alex had difficulty remembering that Jean was actually in a lower class position than he. This sentence was a bit on the long side and kind of hard to understand. Try turning it into a few sentences and explaining it clearler. Jean looked like he was going to give Alex a speech about how obstinate he was, but instead he said simply,

“Please.”

Alex averted his eyes away from Jean’s, his heart filled with guilt. This was the man that had taken care of him all of his life, certainly more than his own father ever had. Jean had sacrificed hours of his life teaching Alex, protecting him, and telling him which direction to go whenever he got lost. Aww... that's sweet :wink: And yet here Alex stood, refusing to do the simplest task for his long time friend. Alex ran his fingers through his dark hair and rolled his eyes.

“Fine, fine! Just don’t expect anything formal,” Alex said.

Jean smiled and patted Alex’s shoulder.

“I knew you had it in you. Dinner is in about thirty minutes so you don’t have to stay long anyway,” Jean said.

Alex nodded and faced the door. He knocked it two times and stepped back, waiting for an answer. A few seconds later a small voice answered, “Who is it?”

“It is Prince Alex. I have come up here to apologize,” he said.

“I thought you were too stubborn to apologize,” Anita answered through the door.

“Will you just come over here?” Alex said.

The sound of small footsteps pitter pattering across the room behind the door grew closer, and with in Within is one word. a few seconds the door cracked open with Anita’s watery eyes peering through.

“Well?” Anita said.

“Don’t you think you should let me in?” Alex asked.

“No. Why, hello Jean. Nice to see you again,” Anita said.

Jean smiled and bowed courteously.

“No offense, princess, but it would better if Alex could actually see your entire face. He doesn’t do this whole, No need for the comma. “apologizing” thing often,” Jean said.

“Very well, “Anita said agreeably. She opened the door fully and leaned against the door frame, her eyes slightly red from all the tears of frustration she had shed. I liked this! He noticed that she had let her hair down, because her dark brown waves now spilled over her shoulders luxuriously. Alex took a deep breath and said,
“Princess Anita, I am sorry for the things I said back there. It was very impolite of me. Now if you will excuse me I must be on my way-“ Alex’s exit was interrupted by a sharp tug on his ear. He cried out and saw that Jean had a solid grip on it.

“I don’t think that was a proper apology, Alex.” Jean said coolly. I love Jean, aye... :lol:

Anita folded her arms and shook nodded her head in agreement.

“Well, what else do you want me to say? I said I was sorry,” Alex complained.

“You could say it like you mean it, for one.” Anita said.

Alex shoved Jean away and straightened his collar in an effort to regain his princely composure. He took another deep breath and said, almost in a whisper, “I’m sorry.”
Anita smiled politely, but her eyes shone mischievously.

“For what?” she said.

Alex grimaced. The girl was taunting him! Wasn’t she aware that he had more authority than her? Jean suddenly looked at his pocket watch and declared rather dramatically, “Oh my! It looks like I must prepare for dinner. Why don’t you two sit in Anita’s guest room until you come to an agreement?”

“No!” the two royals shouted.

“Oh, come on. You must be tired from your trip, Anita. Alex is tired as well. Right, Alex?” Jean said.

“Well actually I-“

“Very good! Now go on and sit!” Jean said. He nearly pushed Alex into the door frame, causing Alex to get closer to Anita than he preferred.

“I suppose I am rather tired…” Alex said. He quickly side stepped Anita and walked into the room. Anita followed cautiously, giving a suspicious gaze at Jean, who only smiled like a fool. Alex leaned against the stone wall and watched while Anita grabbed a chair.

“Okay, now you two make up now,” Jean said. He began to shut the door quietly. Alex motioned sharply and said, “Now you don’t have to close the-“

The door slammed shut.

“…door.” Alex hadn’t remembered Jean interrupt him so many times in a single day. Jean must be pretty flustered, Alex thought. Guilt seeped through him again. He didn’t say a word until Anita cleared her throat.

“Well, after that interesting intro, I guess we must get down to the business,” Anita said.

Alex arched an eyebrow.

“Business? I thought I was here to apologize,” he said.

“You were. But we both know that apologies won’t work because you’ll just try to hurt my feelings again. So, I’ve developed compensation.” Anita said. She stood up from her chair and walked over to a dresser and picked up a piece of paper. She walked over to Alex and handed it to him. Observing the paper, Alex was hit by a strong smell of wild flowers and honey. Anita smiled sheepishly.

“I spilled perfume on it. But it’s dry now. Go ahead and read it.” Anita said.

“What is it?”

“It’s a contract.”

Alex remained his quizzical expression as he read the paper out loud.

“The Contract, By Anita Isabella Corin, Princess of Flowers. Quite an elaborate title,” Alex said.

“I thought it sounded more official like that.”

“I see.” He continued reading.

“As you know by the time you are reading this letter, I have come to be offended by you behavior. However, I simply could not deign to give up now in my efforts to become engaged, so I have created some things that will allow us to tolerate each other’s existence. My,The comma isn't really needed here. tolerating your existence sounds quite wonderful,” Alex said.
Anita nodded, not noticing Alex’s jab. Alex read on.

“In order to make the courtship follow through, I have decided not to interfere with your personal affairs. That means you can do all the things that you like to do, and I will not comment on them, and or slap you for them. Well, I suppose that would be nice.” Alex said humorously.

Anita nodded again.

“Keep reading,”

“In exchange for my tolerant behavior for your actions, I expect these things from you: One, you shall not call me mean names. Two, you will have to bathe at least three times a week. Three, you will have to call me beautiful every day-Wait, why would I want to call you beautiful every day? That’s time consuming. “

“You can call me pretty if you want. That has one less syllable than beautiful.” This made me chuckle.

“Very good, I may like that-Wait!” Alex threw the paper down, “What one earth am I
doing? I am not in the mood to make a silly agreement!”

Anita folded her arms and scowled.

“If we are going to make a relationship work, we must have-“

“I don’t want to be in a bloody relationship with you! I haven’t even agreed to court you!”

“But you will have to court me. Or else I-“

“Or else what?”

“Let me speak. Oh, never mind! I don’t have to explain myself to you!” Anita shouted. She stormed off to the window.

Alex frowned, puzzled by her behavior. Alex walked over and gazed through the window too, wondering what Anita was staring at so intensely. Her eyes looked so serene to him; it was like they were magical.

“Why did you go through all the trouble of writing that?” Alex said in the calmest tone he could manage.

“I just thought maybe I could get to you if I let you know that we don’t have to have anything personal,” Anita sighed.

“Why?”

Anita sighed again and faced Alex, her eyes shimmering with something he didn’t understand.

“Let’s just say I need this marriage, to make myself redeemable in the eyes of someone I care about.” Anita said quietly.

Alex was now incredibly confused. He was eager to learn more about her, to know what she was feeling, but he knew that he couldn’t risk growing closer. So guiltily, he only said,
No need for the second comma. “Well, you aren’t going to get married to me. Sorry to pop burst your bubble.”

Anita turned away from him.
“Just leave, then.”

Alex sighed. He had accomplished what he wanted to: He and he had not repaired the damage that he had made. Yet why did he feel so empty now? As he edged closer to the door, he looked behind himself to see that Anita was looking back at him. He touched the door knob and turned it.

The door didn’t budge.

Alex tried again, pushing his weight against the door, but the door didn’t move. Cursing under his breath, he realized that Jean must have locked the door. He knew the tricky advisor was up to something, but he had not guessed that it would be something like this. Anita was furious with him; he did not want to be stuck with her and her angry emotions. Yet a part of him still wanted to know more about the princess. Anita noticed Alex as his face paled and felt a small twang in the pit of her stomach.

“Prince Alex, why are you still in here?” Anita asked nervously.

Alex slowly drew away from the door.

“Now Anita, I don’t want you to think that I’ve done anything but…” Alex said cautiously.

“But what?”

“Yeah…We’re locked in.”

Anita’s face paled and she and Alex both stared wide eyed at each other. Anita broke the silence with a screech.

“What? How is that possible! I thought that-no! I have to make a good impression at dinner tonight. I can’t go home after one day! What am I going to-“

She hadn’t noticed that Alex had drawn closer. Her rant was interrupted when Alex held a finger to her lips.

“Shush.” Alex said. He walked over to the window and pushed against it, causing it to open with a creak. He leaned forward out the opening, as if he was going to jump.

“Good Lord! What are you doing?” Anita exclaimed.

Alex examined the drop below. It was a solid two and a half stories down, but a vine trellis crept down the wall all the way to the garden below. The vines looked sturdy and climbable to Alex, who had experience climbing such things to escape an early bed time. So they weren’t stuck up there after all. Alex let out a sigh of relief. He turned and saw Anita banging against the door.

“That door is made of solid oak, Miss Anita. And no one can hear you because they are all getting ready for the dinner,” Alex said practically. Practically doesn't sound very suited here. Try another adjective!

Anita let out a groan and banged harder on the door. He walked over and grabbed Anita, and dragging her over to the window. He pointed towards the vines, and then the ground.

“There. We can climb down the vines to the garden below. No worries.” Alex said.

Anita went all wide eyed again.

“Um, don’t you think we can just try to knock down the door?” she asked timidly.
Alex shook his head.

“I’m not all muscle you know, and besides, this would be faster and less messy. Come on!” Alex pulled Anita closer to the window.

“No!” Anita screamed. She drew back and realized that she had just made a fool of herself.

“I mean…It’s just that I am afraid of heights. There! I said it,” Anita said.

Alex stared taciturnly at her for a moment, and then broke into a fit of giggles.

“What? What’s so funny?”

“Oh, it’s just so interesting,” Alex said in between laughter, “That a girl who can stand up to a prince, slap harder than a man, and attempt to break down a door in one day is scared of heights!”

“It is not! I am seriously frightened.” Anita said.

Alex’s face cooled.

“Well, I guess there is no other way then,” Alex said. He turned around so that his back was facing hers. “Hop on my back and I will climb you down.”

Anita gasped.

“But I couldn’t possibly-“

“It’s not like I am doing this because I want to! Just hop on!” Alex said. He bent over slightly and wriggled his rear. Anita stifled a giggle.

“How do I get on?“

“Just wrap your arms around my neck.”

Anita drew closer and wrapped her arms around Alex’s neck closely, and letting out an exclamation when he put his arms behind him and pushed her up his back. He blew a spare strand of hair out of his eyes.

“Never thought I would give a piggy back ride to a full grown princess,” he murmured.

“Are we going down now?” Anita said, feeling awkward.

“Yes, just hold onto me tightly with your legs and your arms. I have to use my hands to climb, you know,” Alex said. And He began to climb out the window.

Anita looked down and gasped, immediately regretting it. She felt a wave of dizziness overcome her and she gripped tighter around Alex’s neck.

“Hey, Anita! I can’t breathe! Just take a deep breath and close your eyes, okay?” Alex wheezed.

Anita took a deep breath and closed her eyes. This sounds kind of weird because you've repeated what Alex just said. Simply say 'Anita did as she was instructed' or something along those lines. :wink: She buried her face into Alex’s neck, taking comfort in the warmth and strength it provided. Alex did not take comfort in it at all. The feeling of her soft skin against the nape of his neck was so distracting that he almost forgot to put one foot below the other and slipped. Anita let out a scream which nearly broke Alex’s ear drums. He managed to grab hold of a strong vine and pulled himself to the wall again, sweat pouring from his forehead.

“Alex, are you doing okay?” Anita whispered, her lips grazing his ear. Alex let out a frustrated whimper of how obliviously she was distracting him with her-well, herself.
Just one foot under the other, Alex. he thought. Italicize your characters thoughts. It's easier to read that way.

“Maybe you should take a deep breath. That helped me,” Anita said.

Alex obeyed and then regretted it as he took in the dazzling smell of her skin. How was she managing to distress him so?

Just one foot under the other-wait. Is it one foot over the other? Good Lord, I have forgotten how to climb! Once again, italicize. Alex thought. He desperately clung to the vines and tried to calm himself. It wasn’t too far a drop now, maybe he could just leap for it.

“Are you okay?”

“Don’t talk!”

Alex was alarmed when he heard the sound of the vine which he was holding onto snap. He let out a scream as they plummeted to the ground. It was barely a moment before they hit the ground with a solid thud. Because her back had been the one facing the ground, Anita thought she would feel a lot of pain first, but she only landed on something warm and firm. She opened her eyes to see that Alex was underneath her, his cheek bleeding from a scratch he received from the fall, and His eyes were closed. That was just a suggestion :wink: It's not too badly needed.

“Alex! Prince Alex! Are you okay? Tell me you’re okay!” Anita screamed. She rolled off of him and put her heart to his chest. He let out a cough and grimaced, his eyes still shut.

“I am so not okay,” he said. I think a more descriptive verb would be better here. Something like, muttered or groaned.

Anita giggled hysterically and wiped a stray tear from her eye. She rolled back onto the grass, where they both laid in calm silence.

“I can’t believe I let you do that,” Anita said.

Alex chuckled.

“You’re welcome.”

“I wonder who locked us in.”

Alex frowned and sat up, wincing from the sharp pain that shot up his back.

“I have a pretty good idea,” he said, his eyes angry.

Anita sat up sharply.

“Good grief! The party! We have to go now and get ready!” she said.

“I think I will just lie here and eat this delicious grass instead.” haha!

“Oh no you don’t. Come on now, we can’t miss it.” Anita said. She helped Alex stand up
and was caught off guard when he teetered over and leaned on her.

“I am still hurting, you know. I need support, here.” Alex said.

Anita smiled and wrapped her arm around his shoulder. She walked him to the castle, where they could at least rest slightly and prepare themselves for the events ahead.

Had either one known what would happen at dinner, the two might have just retreated to their rooms early.
Good ending :wink:

I have to say, this is definitely my favourite chapter so far!
It was funny and you wrote it very effectively. There was the odd grammar mistake, but nothing seriously bad at all. Well done!

Overall, this was well written and I really do like your writing style. :wink: I could imagine a smartly dressed guy and a girl with a formal gown climbing down a building! It was an extremely funny image! I really love your characters, especially Alex.

I haven't really got much else to say. Just read over what I've corrected, edit the post, and you'll end up with a seriously good piece of work here!

Make sure you post in my WRFF thread when the next chapter is up!
I can't wait to read it.

Keep writing,

xoxo Skins
I didn't know what to put here so I put this.




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Thank you so much, you two. You've really helped me progress as a writer! I'll fix this errors and consider the suggestions as soon as I can.
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Oh my word, this is adorable!! My favorite chapter to date, I love the sparks that fly between them, it's perfect! And Jean, Ooo, he's so bad, but in a good way, a perfect way a butler should take care of his Prince, with a little shove. Haha, Anita is great, the whole heights thing perfect! This whole chapter was sweet, can't wait to read more!!!
The heart wants, the body needs, and the mind suffers. - me




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The characters are really progressing and getting better and better. Their relationship is highly entertaining and again, the dialogue is very natural. I know I keep saying that, but dialogue in my stories is something I have a lot of trouble with, so I really admire your writing. I love this story so much and will continue to read.
Oh, I wish I was punk-rocker with flowers in my hair.



“Hope” is the thing with feathers - That perches in the soul - And sings the tune without the words - And never stops - at all -
— Emily Dickinson