My Ghost and I

17 posts1, 2
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cupcake
Gender Female
Points 3371
Reviews 61
Sat Mar 05, 2011 4:17 am
cupcake says... · Sat Mar 05, 2011 4:17 am
This is such a great poem! I love it. My favourite part is:

SmileLikeUMeanIt wrote:My past is dead
I asked her to leave

My past is dead
And my ghost follows me


I liked how you repeated "My past is dead"
Keep writing! :D
God gives us our relatives - thank God we can choose our friends.
- Ethel Watts Mumford
A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.
- Walter Winchell
“I’ll Surprise you, I promise”
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322sivart
Gender Male
Points 3181
Reviews 131
Sun Mar 06, 2011 4:35 pm
322sivart says... · Sun Mar 06, 2011 4:35 pm
Hey Smile,
I'm here as requested. Thanks for asking me to review this.
I like the fact that you have the power over your readers in hte sense that short, not too descriptive lines in an emotional poem can still grasp me. It is not vivid, but I think for this poem, that's a good thing. Some of the lines that you used, such as "she swallowed my words" make this poem potentially very relateable to many people, I think.
Overall, I really like this poem. Keep up the great work.
-Alex
Need reviews?
I'd be happy to give them.
http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic76104.html
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17 posts1, 2


No person can be a great leader unless he takes genuine joy in the successes of those under him.
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