Draw Near To Me Chapters 10-11

AllieMeadows wrote:Hey everyone here is the next two chapters. I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 10

By the time Jason unwound his arms from around me comma Jared was nowhere to be found. I felt terrible; Jared and I had always been good friends. Doesn't mean they are not friends anymore... I suggested to add 'good'. I never would have guessed that he wanted to be something more.

I sullenly walked next door to Chemistry and sat down. During that class comma I didn’t hear one word that Mrs. Munson said, my mind was way too preoccupied. I couldn’t get that totally destroyed look out of my mind. I felt terrible for not telling Jared about Jason when I had the chance.

As I was sitting there contemplating my dilemma comma a realization hit me. Maybe why I had missed Jared so much was not as simple as I had thought. Maybe the reason I couldn’t help but flirt with him was maybe because I liked him more than I had wanted to admit. Maybe I liked him more than being just a friend.

When the bell rung for lunch comma it scared the crap out of me. I grabbed my bag and my unopened notebook and walked out the door. I walked past Jason and his shocked expression and tried to ignore Jared’s hurt expression.

I walked to my locker and found Roz and Brooke standing around theirs. The look on their eyes was one of question but they didn’t say anything. Regardless comma I knew what they were thinking, Why are you not with Jason? This part should be in italics.

I was too lost in my own mind to really care. I was too busy thinking that maybe I did like Jared more than just friends. That was why I had missed him so much. I was terrified of that possibility. I changed this sentence because you already said that not too long ago... I thought it might be good to add some new words.

I don’t remember walking to or even into the cafeteria but suddenly we were in there. We were walking towards the tables to set our stuff down. Brooke was saying something that I didn’t hear when I stopped her mid-sentence by saying, “Hey guys I’ll be right back comma” when I saw Jared.

“Hey,” I said attentively as I walked up to him.

“What do you want Allie?” Jared said comma short-tempered.

“I’m sorry,” I said comma choking on the last word as tears started to come to my eyes, burning them.

Jared must have seen the tears I was fighting to control because he wrapped his arms around me and whispered, “Shhh its okay, its okay.”

“No its not, I should have told you about me and Jason comma” I said comma the words stuck in my throat choking on the last word. Repetition, repetition...

I couldn’t do this anymore. I could feel several pairs of staring holes in my back. I pulled away from Jared when I most wanted him to pull me closer. “Jared . . . .I just can’t . . ..” I said before going to sit with my best friends in the world.

They didn’t ask any questions but I knew they were dying to know. I just stared at the table comma wiping any stray tear that made it past my control. The only time I looked up comma I could see the concern and the questions burning in their eyes. I didn’t dare look up enough to catch Jason’s eyes; I was scared of what I might see. What did he think about what just happened between Jared and me?

All of a sudden an arm being draped over my shoulder startled me, I knew it was Jason without even looking. “Hey baby,” Jason said as he kissed my hair.

“Hey,” I said as I tried to shrug it off, I felt so guilty. How could I tell him about Jared and me?

“Is everything alright?” Jason asked comma looking concerned.

It killed me to say it but I knew I had to, it wouldn’t be fair to him. “No . . . . .umm we need to talk.”

“Oh okay. You want to go outside?” Jason asked Period.

“Yeah umm see ya’ll later comma” I said comma turning toward my friends.

I picked up my bag and Jason and I walked out of the cafeteria. I could feel their eyes on our retreating backs. Jason tried to take my hand several times but I kept jerking away. I could already feel the tears starting to resurface. Wouldn't she want him to comfort her? Because she said no to Jared...

We had barely made it outside when I turned to face him. I looked up into his gorgeous blue eyes and lost it.

“Allie what’s wrong?” Jason asked as he tried to comfort me.

I pulled away from him and said the five hardest words I’ve ever said. “Jason, I can’t do this comma” I said comma letting the tears fall.

Chapter 11

"Allie what are you talking about?" Jason asked comma looking confused.

"This. Us. There can't be an us anymore. Jason I'm sorry but I can't do this comma" I said through my teeth as I walked away from him and every dream I had ever had. What? Why? Care to explain? Make us understand exactly why she is doing this.

After only a minute of walking comma I was so blinded by tears I couldn't see where I was going. Through the tears I found an available bench and sunk into it. As I was sitting there crying my heart out comma a realization hit me. There were over two hundred people around me but I had never felt so alone.

After a moment I realized I wasn't alone. I looked to my right and saw Jared sitting there, and the look on his face told me that he didn't know what to do. I moved closer to him and he responded by wrapping his arm around me. I buried my face in his shirt and let the tears fall.

"Alls I am so sorrycomma" Jared said as he tried to comfort me.

I looked up into Jared's beautiful blue-green eyes. His lips were inches from mine, and I couldn't help myself. I stretched up and pressed my lips to his. The kiss was so different from Jason’s and mine which had been That one was full of passion, desire and hunger. This one just wasn't. I'm very confused. You should definitely tell us a little bit more of her thoughts, because I'm not understanding anything of what she's doing.

Jared's lips responded to mine, his lips parted, kissing me back as his fingers knotted in my hair. My hand rested on his arm prolonging the kiss. So what if this kiss wasn't 'passionate,'? It was very sweet and gentle. Jared broke the kiss after what seemed like an eternity and looked me in the eye. I found myself getting lost in his beautiful eyes when the bell rang comma bringing me back to reality.

I stood up frazzled and tried to walk away before Jared grabbed my hand and asked "Want me to walk you to class?"

"Sure," I said comma trying to calm down.

Jared tried to take my hand before I jerked it away as we walked back to the building. Jared looked at me worriedly but I grinned reassuringly. Jared lightly put his arm around my shoulder as we walked toward my locker. He waited patiently while I grabbed my Algebra stuff out of my locker, playing with a strand of my hair absent-mindedly. Okay, so she dumped Jason, but doesn't care that Jared touches her? I find that hard to understand. Wouldn't she want to have some time to herself to think because she's confused? Plus, I think it's kind of mean that she just lets him do that. It looks a lot like she doesn't care about Jason, which I am sure she does.

I slammed my locker and let Jared take my hand as he walked me to class. When we got to Mr. Johnston's room comma Jared kissed me on the forehead and wrapped his arms around my waist, squeezing me tightly, before letting me go inside. I sat down in my seat and tried to concentrate on the lesson but I couldn't. My mind kept comparing my kiss with Jason and my kiss with Jared. The kiss with Jared had been nice but it had been lacking, lacking something that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

I walked through the rest of my classes that afternoon in a haze. I didn't hear one word the teachers said and avoided eye contact with everyone, including Roz, Cami and Brooke. I spent the whole afternoon thinking, debating, and pondering.

In 8th period I had grasped something with all this thinking. I had been trying to love with my mind, not my heart. Love wasn't supposed to be considered logically, love was an illogical thing. You couldn't control whom you loved. I had been trying to make love logical which was improbable.

I cleared my mind of everything, every thought and every face that I had been combing through for the past three hours. Once it was cleared comma I thought of the word love. A name and a face popped into my mind. In that moment I knew whom I truly loved with all my heart. I knew whom I needed to find and tell them that I loved them. A moment after my epiphany the bell rang comma releasing me from the prison that they call school and from my own illogical mind.

I walked past Jason and his shocked expression and tried to ignore Jared%u2019s hurt expression.

I was too lost in my own mind to really care.

“What do you want Allie?” Jared said short-temperedly.

“No . . . . .umm we need to talk.”