School time dreaming

School time dreaming of places I have never been
As the trolley hits the make shift wall at a velocity of 5m per second
Of places I have seen, in dreams I walk through
The corridors pushing my way though the crowd to get to
A secret place hidden in the bamboo, somewhere
Where you must be quiet or it’s
DETENTION

A short poem. I feel like extending it but lack the inspiration. Please tell me what you feel . Thank you!

Spoiler

Not very helpful review.

Jennya wrote:School time dreaming of places I have never been
As the trolley hits the make shift wall at a velocity of 5m per secondSounds fast for a trolley.
Of places I have seen, in dreams I walk through
The corridors pushing my way though the crowd to get to
A secret place hidden in the bamboo, somewhereccI like secret places! lol
Where you must be quiet or it’s This part sounded like a strict library.
DETENTION

A short poem. I feel like extending it but lack the inspiration. Please tell me what you feel . Thank you!

I liked this poem. It is really good. Well done and keep writing!

Yes, 5 meters per second is very fast for a trolley, not that i think about it. But then again in physics class me have to simplify things to make it more manageable. Teacher says " Look, let's pretend there's no friction and no air resistance and that gravity is 10ms okay." Us, " Where is that actually possible?". Teacher looks stricken. " Look do you want to make life more complicated? No, so just do it!" But my physics teachers are cool

I liked the poem. I just can't relate because all of our teachers never send people out of the room(ISS/Detention, etc), they just yell at the class for 40 minutes...

Maybe add in a stanza about dozing off?

That's all I got!

Hey Jenn! The only thing I could think of would be to add another couple of stanzas, because it feels like you start off great, and then ditch us at the start of a good story. Sorry I can't help you more! Keep it up!