I'll Love You In the Next

It wasn't bad, it had some potential but I do have some isssues witht the overall construction.

Though my flame of life
flickers-If it was me, I'd wouldn't put this on a different line, its not a strong enough word to stand alone.And my light is dim
A love for u-pet peeve of mine, Don't use "text speak" like u, h8, lol, this stuff degrates the literay content
ignites in me
It burns
somewhere within
Where the last of my soul
lays- Very vaugue, this segment here was a little cliche, a little trite, without any real imagery.

I found problems like that throughout the poem, It wasn't the worst I've read, but for me, It was a little cliche. That being said, I did think that the poem had potential, and moreso th poem I could sense that you as a writer have potential.

This is a really beautiful sounding poem. Your personality seeps through like this very passionate person. I can very much tell why writing chose you! You have so much potential, many possibilities, through your writing. There were a few minor flaws of course, but seemingly minor. Something was slightly off with the flow of it but I can't quite seem to place my finger on what it was. I was trying more greatly to focus on the words. To pinpoint your emotion. It was there! My favorite lines were:

"When Heaven formed you
It had me in mind
The angels that carved you
were ever so kind!"

This was very sweet, and I enjoyed the poem a lot Keep up with the writing. You will only grow from here-on!

this is a very sweet poem...alredy on the topic im partial too.....I thing i realized through your poem was that "Love never dies". this statement has been spoken over and over again by so many people in such complicated words....but you justified it through short and sweet words.... it is a very nice poem....keep writing...