The Ecology of Hell on Earth.

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On this plane or rather "these plains" of Heaven and Earth. there is "THE" field of battle.

The Armageddon is Relative and Universal.
The distant seas boil with torpedoes and depth-charges. Leviathan battle ships and Krakenine Under-boats surf on the tides and currents that are red with the dead of sunken vessels.
The skies are blackened with Harpies,Wailing War-worn half-bird wenches birthing hell-bombs for their patron nations.
On the ground, men charge like the Bulls of Heaven and yowl like Hounds of Hell. Men so vicious and numerous they are great beast individually and a pestilence enmasse.

(this is the first draft please review)
The foot-soldiers are roaring Lion-Headed Locust that swarm when they storm and sting like scorpions with their bayonets.
"THE" field of battle is made barren as the Locust-soldiers devour the crops of Nihilism seeded and sown there and are made aware that they are insects clinging to blades of Forged-Iron Grass that wraith in unison under the Winds of Time as much they flail against one another in the River of Power.

When the crops of Nihilism are depleted the Locust-soldiers drop away and die as the "THE" field of battle is decomposed away by a fungal wave of Mushroom Clouds.

"The" field of battle gives way to the flames. The flames fail to prevail against a Mountain. The Mountain is tumbled unto its tip and tucked away by Gaia's Tectonics and then she is held under the sway of the Universe which is Endless Ocean of Power of the Infinite Sky of Time which the Rivers and Winds are only tributaries to.

That is the Ecology of Hell on Earth, The nature of Total War

-God, the reluctant naturalist




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I have to say, you might possibly have a good idea and/or story line, but this isn't really a poem. You're trying to write too much without making it flow. There's to much text, too much too much. Break it up, calm it down, add emotion not just context.....the emotion makes the poem. Chill out with the descriptions and BREAK UP YOUR POEM. It honestly looks like a paragraph. Please, take the same thought and make it a poem. Great idea, great start, now break it down and make it flow.
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.~Groucho Marx

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well this is a prose. prose isn't built around flow. I didn't find a prose section any where.




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A prose is still supposed to have some form of rhythm. This really doesn't. It' a paragraph.
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.~Groucho Marx

I have a passion for all things literary, and I love to review the work of others :). PM me with a link and I'd love to review for you too!



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