I know it's long, but please bear with me... It's rated sixteen for the slight swearing. Like I said before, it's part of the story.
I didn’t have the chance to talk to Rose again during the afternoon. I wanted to know why she felt so strongly about my feelings for Liam, or my lack of them, as I showed her this morning. It shouldn’t really matter to her; she actually should feel relieved that I finally moved on after seven years.
I also expected my brother and Liam to find a spot of their own, or even go with some friends. Instead, they stayed, playing volley-ball with us. I tried to ask Ben what was the deal because he normally didn’t really want to hang with younger people since he was cooler than that, apparently. But he only bit down his lower lip, looking at the girls on the volley court. Ah, that made sense. It was an especially warm day of spring and all of my friends had dressed up for the occasion. Bikinis and short shorts. Well, if he wanted to be here to check out my friends, it was his choice. And seriously, some of them showed off pretty much. I suppressed a laugh when one of the girls fell over Ben, laughing at something he just said. She was practically on top of him, and her hand was grabbing his arm possessively.
Wow, they are really desperate, I thought. Only later, would I realize that I was the same. Glued to Cole, laughing at everything he said even though it wasn’t even a bit funny. The worst was that I didn’t even care if he was there or not. All I really wanted was to talk to Rose. And looking across the volley court, I could see that it was the last thing she wanted to do. There was just something in her face, her jaw set tight and her smile was almost forced.
Scratch the first part out. The first thing I wanted to do was to go to Liam and slap him square on the face. And then go talk to Rose. The reason I wanted to do that was really simple. From the beginning of the day, I saw him go from girl to girl, flirting outrageously with them and that reminded me too much of Friday night, a week ago, at the party and then, yesterday night, at his house when he was making out with Lisa on his bed.
The guy was a serious player. He played with girls, not even caring what was inside of them, only that they were fun. And even though I knew that I wasn’t any different, I couldn't keep myself form reliving that moment we had, alone, just outside the house. What I felt then was undeniable. I knew, deep down, that it wasn’t just kisses and words to get me into bed. Or, I guess that it was just what I felt, because he obviously didn’t remember any of it.
Why am I thinking about this? I'm not jealous, I thought to myself. It was rather idiotic that I was thinking about this when I had vowed to get over him this morning. I mentally kicked myself, and promised it wouldn't happen again.
“Hey babe,” two hands caught my waist and spun me around. Cole kissed me on the forehead, his lips trailing to my temple and my jaw before kissing me squarely on the lips. The kiss was longer than I wanted it to be, but I didn’t break away, feeling people looking at us. Cole felt them too, because his hands went under my shirt and he forced his tongue in my mouth.
“Disgusting,” I heard someone say, not far from us. I pushed Cole away, agreeing secretly with the person. It was disgusting, when you thought about it. I turned around, searching for someone I could talk to so Cole would let me go and I found Rose, a few feet away, watching us. Her mouth was gaping open. I caught her eyes; she dropped them to the floor. Confused, I searched for someone else that perhaps would talk to me, but stopped when I caught Liam’s eyes. He was looking at me intensely, oblivious to all the girls beside him. The flame in his eyes sent shivers through my body, leaving it hot. It was the same look he had in the backyard. The one he wore when he told me he could read my mind...
I had almost forgot about that. I wasn’t even sure it was true. It couldn’t be, right? But it had seemed incredibly on the spot Friday, two weeks ago... What if it was? What if he had listened to everything I thought? What if he was listening right now? My cheeks felt hot, and I was sure that my face was red. If he knew that I was craving for him, why hadn’t he come? At least to say that it had only been a game to piss my brother off. Maybe then, I could move on, knowing that it hadn’t been real.
He looked away at that moment, breaking the thoughtful haze I was in. And it took me a moment to realize what he was looking at. Lisa and Amber were walking towards our little group. I instantly noticed Lisa’s bloodshot puffy eyes and the confused look Amber wore on her face. She had an arm around Lisa’s shoulders, just like somebody would do to comfort a friend. Lisa shrugged it off, and I could see that her face was composed, even though it looked like she had cried all night.
I was confused. I really didn’t know why she would be crying if she hooked up with Liam last night. I even saw them… I cringed, remembering why and how I saw these two together last night. And that’s when I realized it. Liam wouldn’t be here with younger girls, checking them out in the most obvious way if he had a girlfriend. They must have had another fight. That didn’t surprise me, however. Lisa was a sucker for drama and she picked fights for the simplest things. Like the time when she didn’t want to talk with Liam because she was sure he was cheating on her with me, which had been totally stupid, since he was barely speaking to me at the time.
Looking at her now, seeing her walking towards him confidently, it made my stomach go all queasy. The look on her face made it clear she was there to take him back and she was confident he was not going to blow her off.
When she was close enough, her hand went down around his arm, and she stopped her stride, right there, beside him.
“Can we talk?” Even though I was feet away, I could hear them just like they were beside me. I felt like an intruder, but that feeling didn’t stop me from looking and listening at the entire scene.
Liam nodded, looking down at the sand that was covering his feet and followed her toward a picnic table. She was still holding his arm, even when they sat down at two opposite end, like she was reluctant to let him go. Without my agreement, my feet were carrying me closer to them. I looked around to make sure nobody was thinking I was a freak since I was trying to eavesdrop on them. However nobody was even aware I was there. They kept playing and laughing loudly, oblivious of the scene that was playing in front of me. I stopped after a few steps, not wanting Liam and Lisa to realize I was there.
“I’m sorry,” Lisa said to him. She looked at him expectantly, waiting for an answer she didn’t get. Instead, Liam nodded, leaving her to make the conversation.
“Okay,” she said, taking a deep breath. “It was stupid. What I did… I didn’t trust you when I should have and… I regret it. I was selfish and it was mean… For you and Alicia,” she continued. The sound of my name made me cringe. Did she know about what happened at the party? God…
“What? This is not about Alicia. It’s about this. We're always fighting over ridiculous things. I’m freaking tired of you telling me what I do wrong. And you are getting jealous over something as ridiculous as my best friend's little sister. Jesus Lisa. With you it’s always the fault of the other one, right? Never yours,” Liam sighed heavily and began to rise when Lisa grabbed his arm again to stop him.
“Wait, please. I’ll be better I swear. Liam… I didn’t know it was hurting you this much but I’m gonna try… Don’t leave me please,” Lisa pleaded. Now she was weeping again, her shoulders going up and falling with her irregular breathing.
“No, stop it. Stop this. I thought you understood the first time, I guess you didn’t, since you showed up last night. What was that, like the third time I try to explain this? I’m. Over. It. And that’s all there is to it. I’m not trying to send you a message or anything. I don’t want you back,” he said, looking down at her one last time and then leaving the table. He was walking fast, not leaving enough time for her to grab onto him again. I didn’t realize right away that he was coming toward me, and when I did, he was right before me.
“Sorry about that,” he said, leaning close to me and taking a deep breath.
“What… you just ditched her like that?” I said, confused. My mind was reeling, trying to find a way to explain all this and if I was really a big part in their break up.
“No, I’m not. God, you must think I’m such a jerk…” He said, looking me into the eyes. His green eyes were pained. He opened his mouth to continue
“Look, it’s not the first time we fight, and I’m tired of it. I just… She was so sure that I was going to marry her; she didn’t even care what she did or said. And the truth is, I don’t even love her. She makes me sick,” he said. I tried to concentrate on his words, letting them sink in. He didn’t love Lisa. He just ditched her.
“What happened last night? I saw…” I clamped my lips together just in time to stop the words from flowing out of my mouth. What I said was giving me away. I prayed silently that he didn’t notice and just moved on. He didn’t.
“What? What do you mean…?” He asked. He lifted his eyebrows so high, they were practically touching his hair line.
“I… I saw Lisa’s car out your driveway last night… I just thought you guys were working it out, just like always,” I said, tentatively. I shouldn’t have sounded as sure as I would like too, because he didn’t let it go.
“You…? You came to my house yesterday? And you saw us… making out?” He asked slowly. His eyes were searching mine, looking for answers I wasn’t ready to give to him. He suddenly closed his eyes and let out a breath.
“Sorry, I didn’t even know… I wasn’t exactly listening to you, you know? Since you kinda have a right to keep your thoughts somewhat private…” He wasn’t making any sense. And then he did. Mind reading. That’s what he was talking about. I kept forgetting about it.
“I didn’t mean that, you know. I told her to leave several times, but she wouldn’t let go. And then... It just happened,” he said, looking down again. “She was just on me...” He murmured, almost to himself. Unfortunately, I couldn’t really keep my mouth shut to that comment.
“That’s not what I saw. You were on top of her; touching her,” I said, seeking his eyes so he could tell me that I had seen wrong even when I knew pretty well I didn’t. He didn’t answer. Didn’t even look up.
“I know. Sorry... I...” He drifted off only to continue seconds later, “I don’t love her, okay? And I wanted her to go, seriously. But then she kissed me and I couldn’t stop myself. You should just know that she left a few minutes after what you saw,” he finished, finally looking up.
His eyes locked with mine, leaving me breathless with the intensity of his gaze on me. And then without saying a word, he took my hand and began walking. I had no idea where he was leading me. The only thing I knew was that he was walking toward the parking lot, away from all our friends. After a moment, we were finally alone, sitting in the grass at the back of one of the buildings with the washrooms in it. We didn’t say anything, only looking at the wind in the leaves. We stayed a long time like this. But some time, I don’t really know when, I couldn’t stand the silence anymore.
“You weren’t talking to me. You were avoiding me…” I said without thinking of the outcome of this. Obviously, that made Liam look at me and stand up. He offered his hand without a word. I took it gratefully and he pulled me up. I barely had time to take a breath before he was on me. He pushed me against the wall, his hands at each side of my shoulders. And before I could say anything he was kissing me. His lips were moving restlessly against mine. After a moment, my hands went up to his neck, pulling him closer to me. I was already breathless and I had to pull up for air, but I didn’t want to part my lips from his. Finally, he did stop, pulling away just enough so our lips didn’t touch anymore.
Fuck. Whatever happened to my promise? I thought, but silenced myself soon after. This was what I really wanted. He was the only one I wanted, no matter what I said or tried to do.
When he was about to put his lips back to mine, a sound stopped him. Someone had cleared his throat loudly. My heart stopped for a few seconds. It was horribly close to what had happened the first time we had kissed. Then, Ben had been pretty pissed for some reason and Liam hadn’t talked to me for days. I didn’t want that to happen again, especially that he had just dumped Lisa.
Liam closed his eyes for a slip second and let out a breath, after that, he turned to the person that had interrupted us. I turned with him, keeping an arm around his neck, but took it away as soon as I recognized my best friend standing in front of us.
“I didn’t see you guys... with the others... So I... I decided to find you...” She said, stopping every few words, making it obvious that she was uncomfortable. We didn’t say anything, just kept looking at her. I had to look at Liam after a moment to make sure he was still there.
“I’m sorry. I should leave you alone... I’ll go,” she said, still feeling awkward.
“No... No, it’s okay. We were... finished...” I tried to say it casually, like there was nothing wrong, but I failed completely. And Liam wasn’t helping at all. He was just staring at Rose, a weird expression on his face. I pushed his shoulder with mine and finally I had the reaction I was looking for. His eyes wandered over me a few seconds before finally resting on Rose.
“Uh, yeah, I was just… trying to explain something,” he said his voice low and slow. I took in a breath. Talk about awkward. Liam cleared his throat loudly and backed away quickly from us. He looked back a number of times before
finally disappearing in the men’s bathroom. The moment he was out of earshot, Rose was grabbing my arm.
“Did I just dream that or did it really happen?” She was practically screaming in my ear.
“I’m not actually sure…” I said, still a little dazed from the pressure of his lips against mine.
“Oh. My. God. And you said that he didn’t matter anymore! You lied to me...” It wasn’t a question, only a statement. She was sure I had lied to her about my relationship with Liam.
“No, I didn’t lie to you. I saw Lisa coming and I followed her for some reason, I’m not sure... And then they were breaking up, just like that, in front of me,” I said, trying to catch my friend’s eyes.
“Did you say that they broke up? When?” Rose asked, looking around wildly.
“Yeah, I don’t know if Lisa knew I was there, watching everything, but Liam sure did... After he was done, he came after me and brought me here. He wanted to explain himself. He didn’t want me to think it was an irrational decision. He said that he thought a lot about it...” I said. I saw Rose letting out a breath, air pushing out its way of her mouth. She was upset, I could tell by the way her face was set tight. And there was the fact that she was biting her bottom lip, a thing she always did when she was shocked, disturbed, or whatever you want to call it.
“He really...?” She didn’t finish her sentence, but it didn’t matter, I knew what she wanted to say. He really dumped her, I wanted to say, but I knew it was harsh. Even though she knew I liked Liam for seven years, she always thought that Liam and Lisa were going to be married, twenty years from now. High school sweethearts. She also thought the same for Ben and Amber...
“Yeah, I know, it’s hard to believe,” I said. I took a big breath and offered my arm to her.
“I’m sorry for what I did earlier,” the words were out of my mouth before I could analyze them, but somehow, it felt right. She nodded to me.
“Let’s go back,” she answered.
---> 
<3