Friends

Spoiler

I don't know what type of poetry this is.. So critics people, you are welcome tear this thing(whatever it is) apart...

Good friends are
hard to get,
harder to leave,
impossible to forget.

World without friends,
would be like,
Earth without Gravity.
Wandering aimlessly.

World without friends,
would be like,
Oceans without Fishes.
A traveler solitary.

Friendship is like
a four leaf clover.
Tough to discover.
Lucky for your endeavors.

Forsake not an old friend.
For the old one is incomparable.
The new one is like fresh wine,
when its old you'll address it with delight.

Good friends are
hard to get,
harder to leave,
impossible to forget.

I really like this =] It's got a good flow and it's true =]

Very true.. and like the rhymes.

im deffinatly feeling this poem. i love it. clearly spoken and nicely presented. it flowed nice and painted a great picture. write more

This is a great poem and I really enjoyed your talking about how friends are hard to get and even harder to forget. You have done something great here and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

We critics can have at your poem, you say? Okay. There were a few stanzas I thought would be easier to just rewrite with proper grammar and such. So I did.

ehte92 wrote:Good friends are
hard to get,
harder to leave,
impossible to forget. This entire stanza is its own cliche. If you google it, you'll find this everywhere. This exact cliche, word for word.

World without friends,
would be like,
Earth without Gravity.
Wondering aimlessly.

A world without friends
would be like
Earth without gravity;
wandering aimlessly.

World without friends,
would be like,
Oceans without Fishes.
A traveler solitary.

A world without friends
would be like
oceans without fish;
a solitary traveler.

Friendship is like
a four leaf clover.
Tough to discover.
Lucky for your endeavors.

Friendship is like
a four leaf clover;
tough to discover,
lucky for your endeavors.

Forsake not an old friend. ,
For the old one is incomparable. Continued thought-keep it lowercase.
The new one is like fresh wine, ;
when its it's old, you'll address it with delight.

Good friends are
hard to get,
harder to leave,
impossible to forget.

To me, this poem seems entirely based off of the cliche you posted at both the beginning and end. I fixed up your grammar a bit. Not every line needs a comma on the end, and commas aren't the only punctuation to separate parts of the same thought. Semicolons work much better with this. The last stanza, before you repeated the one from the beginning, didn't flow very well. There was a certain pattern you had with the other stanzas which just threw this one off. My suggestions - work on your grammar, originality, flow, and try to spend a little more time on your poems.

Hope I wasn't too harsh!
>>Annie

Adequate poem. This doesn't have much of a rhythm to it, but it is a good base.
Keep writing on and you will soon find your path.

This is the kind of poem that tells you, straight up, its themes. The comparisons you make are pretty blatant, and yet they make complete sense. The rhymes are good, but they aren't what makes the poem shine. The simplicity is what does: between the comparisons and choice of words (save for the 3rd to last stanza) really bring out the fact that the poem is heartwarming, yet simple enough for anyone to understand. And that's what friendship is, really. So bravo!

Second line: Would be like an (and no comma)
Fourth line: Did you mean "wandering

I liked it well enough. I say it could probably have flowed better; the verses could have connected better (use transitions).

I loved this, it's very true. Somehow it was light hearted, yet serious. I'm not sure how you did that, but it's really cool.