Spend some time on me.

4 posts
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Gender Female
Points 922
Reviews 49
Spoiler
Yea, about this, I have no idea what this is exactly, so feel free to rip it to shreds.


I'm not just an empty jar,
lying uselessly on the floor.

If you would give me the chance,
you would find I am so much more.

I'm a sweet love song that your lover
makes up, even if he can't sing at all,

But it's the sweet thought that counts,
the love that makes us answer his call.

I'm so much more then the doll
you simply threw away last week,

Or the playing card every boy wants
every single card collector seeks.

Spend some time on me, you'll see how
far we go, You'll see how much I'll know,

And you'll see how well I'll grow.
"Fantasy is a way of looking through the wrong end of the telescope."

"The writer who breeds more words than he needs is making a chore for the reader who reads!"

~Dr.Seuss.




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Gender Female
Points 1614
Reviews 25
Hi there! Sorry no one has taken the time to review your work yet. Lets fix that now, shall we?
First of all, I totally agree with you on this! I could really relate to it! But I think you could have put some more feeling into it. Or maybe some more detail? Other than that though, I thought it was really great! Good job! Keep it up!

By the way, nice avatar! ;)
As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.
~Joshua 24:15

@(^_^)@<--- This is review monkey. He says hi!




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Gender Male
Points 67823
Reviews 254
Its a good work mate and there is nothing it that we could be able to rip it to shreds.... Keep up the good work... :)
Are you living for the things you are praying for?




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Gender None specified
Points 1408
Reviews 35
Great job. I can't really find anything to point out. You have great comparisons, and your rhymes don't seem very forced. You did well. :D



Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna lay down and become a tomato for a while.
— RokitaVivi