Lost

On an endless path,
I wander.
Unsure and afraid,
I ponder.

What should I do?
I'm confused!
I think of us
and I muse...

What once was;
what could have been...
I always wonder;
what happened?

I know it now,
in my soul,
What you reap
is what you sow.

You say I'm innocent,
yet I'm not sure.
Have I done wrong?
I just want things cured.

Wow, its amazing I love it. I don't see anything you need to change. It's awesome!

I love how you used short lines in your stanzas; It really helped flow and bring your point across. I don't see anything you need to change. Good job!

In poems, there should be some sort of pattern or rhythm, I think. Your last stanza has two more verses than the other two (or verse has more stanzas, whatever. I don't know my poetic terms very well. Sue me). You should either round it off and make all stanzas 5 verses long. I think the last two verses of the final stanza could be cut off, as they don't really add anything important to the poem, but that;'s just me.

Twilight Tiger--I love your short, punches of verse. It really expands on the feeling and mood of the piece. I know what this is about from reading your profile, but even if I hadn't, you make the subject very clear without saying it straight out. well done.

Hey there Tiger, so let me first start out by saying that I've read a lot of poetry in the last few days, and this really sticks out. It's got a great flow to it, and the rhymes aren't half bad, although the last line felt a little forced, but that's about it. I really liked the way you kept it short and sweet, and I could get what it was about without you having to tell me straight out. Great job, keep writing.

Hey there!

I really like the simplicity of this. You pull of the short lines and rhyme scheme quite well. It adds to the feel of the poem, and creates a lovely rhythm that you keep consistent throughout.

One thing I would say is to take care not to overuse your ellipses (...), they're effective if used sparingly but here it seems a little too much at times.


~Amy

I really liked this,
It was short however is effective in its purpose.

''What should I do? I'm confused...I think of us and I muse...''

Thats a fantastic part of it,
it sort of gives you the whole idea of the poem,
I like the layout because as a once off its different and easy to read,

Im in a good mood so,
your getting a gold star,
just because i like this so much,

Well done!!

thank you guys I think, now that I'm looking back at everything I've written, that I tend to do better on short sentenced stanzas I thank you for your guys' generous comments and I edited it a bit (taking out all the ...)