Regress

The fools, strengthened by
swords and the lies of the
genocide; they are the first
to enter the storm, the first
to die in it. Lick up this insanity,
it is healthful, it will duplicate
inside you. Drink it, for if this glass
shatters, if this bowl becomes
blood, then all will be lost,
and Man shall realize
that stones are the weapons of war.

Take this axe, live, as Death
carries away your soul, mars this path
with gore, for I will need to follow you.
There may be a chance still, the war
carries on inside this library, inside this
cell, dented with firepower
and sorrow. Have you lived here forever?
This old man, a beard and a spiderweb,
a blanket to lay over myself
as I weather the storm.
Huddle with me, if you are not already dead.

Hey there, Kafka.

Alrighty. First thing that I noticed right off the bat is that your enjambments are much more fluid than before, and also you stopped capitalizing the first letter of every line. Though there are still a couple of places that could be touched up, the overall flow of the piece is really good. I would be more economic with your commas though - while you do well in breaking up your sentences with periods, there are also places where semicolons would fit well. For example:

Kafkaescence wrote:The fools, strengthened by
swords and the lies of the
genocide, they are the first

Some of your lines, such as these, sound awkward when I read them. If you read them out loud you might see what I mean. Either change the wording to something like "The fools, strengthened by swords and the lies of the genocide, are the first..." or change your punctuation to better fit your sentence. Or leave it the same, because it's ultimately your choice.

My only other suggestion/comment is that some areas have wording that is obviously weaker than others. I'll use an early example again:

Kafkaescence wrote:they are the first
to enter the storm, the first
to die in it. Lick up this insanity

"They are the first to enter the storm, the first to die in it" is not only less powerful in terms of diction, but also just in the overall image. It's a commonly used metaphor/whatever you'd prefer to call it, so you need to make it a bit more original if you want it to hold some sort of meaning/effect, in my opinion. But that could be just me. Regardless, I still suggest you work on your word choice a bit more.

Other than that, this is an awesome piece. Your ability to capture the moment in words with such detail is pretty impressive. Not bad, not bad at all Great work.

WOW....
This is just great....
Gross.
Brutal.
I am not much of a critic so would not point out anything is this flawless,fabulous piece....
Keep up the great work....
Loved it a lot....