The Broken's Anthem

AN: Alright... This free verse is something I wrote today. I did not follow any of the elements whatsoever, no rhymes, not rhythm, just words, up for your interpretation.This might be horrible, so feel free to tear it up, I always love constructive critisism! Thanks!

Your embrace warms me from the ravaging wind,
but it doesn’t do anything for the icy coldness, that separates our two minds.
That fake smile of yours, cracks around the edges,
you won’t be able to hold it for too long.
Just peel it off, Baby,
‘cause I can see right through it.
Your cautious, hollow eyes,
picking at my flaws.
They're all you can see now.
The sun barely shines anymore,
between our gray clouds of desperation.
Just go to sleep tonight, and forget.
The real world has nothing over the Dreamland,
but when you wake up,
you’ll still be as empty.

WWWOOOWWW. I LIKED THIS A LOT! haaha, anyways i liked the ending the best, these are my suggestions:

Your embrace warms me from the ravaging wind,
but it doesn’t do anything for the icy coldness,i'd combine these two linesthat separates our two minds.
That fake smile of yours, betrayl?
cracks around the edges,
you won’t be able to hold it for too long
.Just peel it off, Baby,
‘cause I can see right through it.
Your cautious, hollow eyes,picking at my flaws. question: is this about a girl or a guy?
They're all you can see now.
The sun barely shines anymore,
between our gray clouds of desperation. DEEP.
Just go to sleep tonight, and forget. sad but true
The real world has nothing over the Dreamland
,but when you’ll wake up,
you’ll still be as empty my favorite line

there wasn't much to edit so, keep it up! i really liked this one!

best wishes, Nessa

Wow, i can relate to this alot. Makes me think of some down moments but yet fills me back with the feelings of happiness i felt once it was sorted.
Its a really good piece of writing and i cant find a flaw
Great detail and a strong array of images given.

It's a good poem, really awsome and deep that expressed the beauty of a normal chat, a tought caught by a net inside the mid and turned into a poem
"but when you’ll wake up," i think it would be "but when you wake up"