Rainbow supreme picked up to a very unhappy space panda. Rainbow supreme calmly assured him that most long-haired sea monkeys yawn before mating, yet albino cats usually scandalously shudder *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting space panda. Why was Rainbow supreme trying to distract space panda? Because he had snuck out from space panda's with the time machine only three days prior. It was an exotic little time machine... how could he resist?
It didn't take long before space panda got back to the subject at hand: his time machine. Rainbow supreme grimaced. Reluctantly, Rainbow supreme invited him over; assuring him they'd find the time machine. Space panda grabbed his elephant and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Rainbow supreme realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the time machine and he had to do it recklessly. He figured that if space panda took the pimp fresh, candy-painted 'Lac, he had take at least nine minutes before space panda would get there. But if he took the space limo? Then Rainbow supreme would be barely screwed.
Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Rainbow supreme was interrupted by ten dimwitted LEUs that were lured by his time machine. Rainbow supreme shuddered; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling angered, he fearlessly reached for his banana and fearlessly deflowered every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the disease-infested jungle, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the space limo rolling up. It was space panda.
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As he pulled up, he felt a sense of urgency. He had had to make an unscheduled stop at Egg Roll King to pick up a 12-pack of bananas, so he knew he was running late. With an inept leap, space panda was out of the space limo and went surreptitiously jaunting toward Rainbow supreme's front door. Meanwhile inside, Rainbow supreme was panicking. Not thinking, he tossed the time machine into a box of bananas and then slid the box behind his time machine. Rainbow supreme was frustrated but at least the time machine was concealed. The doorbell rang.
'Come in,' Rainbow supreme flamboyantly purred. With a hasty push, space panda opened the door. 'Sorry for being late, but I was being chased by some oafish flaming idiot in a homemade car,' he lied. 'Its fine,' Rainbow supreme assured him. Space panda took a seat ridiculously far from where Rainbow supreme had hidden the time machine. Rainbow supreme cringed trying unsuccessfully to hide his nervousness. 'Uhh, can I get you anything?' he blurted. But space panda was distracted. Giggling like schoolgirl, Rainbow supreme noticed an oafish look on space panda's face. Space panda slowly opened his mouth to speak.
'...What's that smell?'
Rainbow supreme felt a stabbing pain in his double chin when space panda asked this. In a moment of disbelief, he realized that he had hidden the time machine right by his oscillating fan. 'WH-what? I don't smell anything..!' A lie. A dimwitted look started to form on space panda's face. He turned to notice a box that seemed clearly out of place. 'Th-th-those are just my grandma's ninja stars from when she used to have pet South American hissing sloths. She, uh...dropped 'em by here earlier'. Space panda nodded with fake acknowledgement...then, before Rainbow supreme could react, space panda fearlessly lunged toward the box and opened it. The time machine was plainly in view.
Space panda stared at Rainbow supreme for what must've been eleven milliseconds. In a blinding moment of misguided bravado, Rainbow supreme groped exotically in space panda's direction, clearly desperate. Space panda grabbed the time machine and bolted for the door. It was locked. Rainbow supreme let out a curious chuckle. 'If only you hadn't been so protective of that thing, none of this would have happened, space panda,' he rebuked. Rainbow supreme always had been a little selfish, so space panda knew that reconciliation was not an option; he needed to escape before Rainbow supreme did something crazy, like... start chucking ripened tomatoes at him or something. In a blinding moment, he gripped his time machine tightly and made a dash toward the window, diving headlong through the glass panels.
Rainbow supreme looked on, blankly. 'What the hell? That seemed excessive. The other door was open, you know.' Silence from space panda. 'And to think, I varnished that window frame three days ago...it never ends!' Suddenly he felt a tinge of concern for space panda. 'Oh. You...okay?' Still silence. Rainbow supreme walked over to the window and looked down. Space panda was gone.
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Just yonder, space panda was struggling to make his way through the secret vineyard behind Rainbow supreme's place. Space panda had severely hurt his double chin during the window incident, and was starting to lose strength. Another pack of feral unicorns suddenly appeared, having caught wind of the time machine. One by one they latched on to space panda. Already weakened from his injury, space panda yielded to the furry onslaught and collapsed. The last thing he saw before losing consciousness was a buzzing horde of unicorns running off with his time machine………..
But then God came down with His clever smile and restored space panda's time machine. Feeling pleased, God smote the unicorns for their injustice. Then He got in His tricycle and blasted away with the fortitude of 200,000 3-legged wallabies running from a big pack of Indonesian devil cats. Space panda fell with joy when he saw this. His time machine was safe. It was a good thing, too, because in eleven minutes his favorite TV show, Dora, was going to come on (followed immediately by 'When spotted wolf hamsters meet gun'). Space panda was jubilant. And so, everyone except Rainbow supreme and a few rusty razor blade-toting South American hissing sloths lived blissfully happily, forever after.
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Thanks for reading you guys, please help edit and share the story
-Miles
