Serenades

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This is my first Romance Fiction piece, so do with it what you will. I based it off of the pieces I'm playing currently [on the piano].

______

(Verso in E minor by Domenico Zipoli)
Cassidy sat neatly with her legs to the side on the red and white checked tablecloth. She smoothed out a wrinkle her white muslin dress and practiced her eyelash-flutter. She had to be presentable for her love of her life, the handsome Alan Nolan. She patted down her hair and pulled the yellow wide-brimmed sun hat tighter on her head and repositioned herself on her knees. While waiting for Alan, Cass admired the wonderful May landscape.
The picnic was set almost dead center of Harlow’s Meadow, in the lush mint coloured grass that smelled fresh and sweet. Vibrantly coloured wildflowers speckled nature’s green floor and a brilliant blue sky above revealed it was a cloudless afternoon. A warm chinook breeze flowed evenly through the meadow, disturbing Cass’s reddish curls.
Cass turned her head as she noticed a slight movement from out of the corner of her eye. Squinting, she saw that it was him, her darling Alan. His light brown hair had blond highlights under the sunlight glaring in his face and his clothes were flattering to his good looks. When he came closer to Cass, she couldn’t help but be locked in his hazel-eyed gaze. His eyes twinkled as he lifted her up and pulled her in for a passionate kiss.
Cass snuggled closer to him. “I love you, Alan.” She looked up into his face.
“As do I, darling Cass,” Alan slowly pulled out of his sweet’s embrace. He smiled down at her, but his eyes betrayed that something was troubling him and Cass caught it. She quickly pulled away.
(Sonatina in A Minor op. 214, no.4: First Movement by Cornelius Gurlitt)
“Alan, what’s the matter?” Cass asked, sitting back onto the cloth and patting it, encouraging her lover to sit as well. He sat, but stiffly.
“Well...there is something I must tell you.”
“What? Please, tell me.” Cass’s voice rose, her anxiety increasing. She studied Alan’s smooth face which was now creased with lines of worry and sadness.
“I have been registered with the British army.”
“What?” Cass leapt to her feet. Her bright sun hat flew off her head at the suddenness of the movement and it flew off to the side, the breeze carrying it gently.
Alan looked down at his fumbling hands. “I’m being deported tonight.” He dared look up into Cass’s eyes and he saw uncontrolled anger. “Please don’t be upset. We haven’t seen each other in a few days and I only signed up yesterday.”
Cass’s face flashed with fury and then it relaxed. Within seconds, she was cuddling close to Alan, tears flowing swiftly down her rosy cheeks. She managed to blubber out, “I’ll miss you.”
“I will, too, darling Cassidy.” Alan then pulled Cass’s face to his and kissed her long and hard. When they both pulled away from it, Alan still kept a strong hold on his beloved. He stroked her beautiful curly hair as she traced the sharp curve of his jaw. It was silent and tender moment for them both and before they knew it, dusk was descending upon them. They quietly packed up the uneaten picnic and walked, hand in hand, out of the meadow and along the trail that would lead them to the bustling city of London.
Within what seemed minutes, Alan and Cass had reached a London side street and without stopping anywhere, made their way to the docks where a large military ship was waiting.
(Romance by Larysa Kuzmenko)
Alan was herded into a separate line from all the teary wives and fiancés and lovers. Cass watched her love disappear into a large crowd of uniformed men and then she ran, pushing people out of the way, to the edge of the dock. As close as she could get. She waited for the large grey ship to embark on its bloody journey. Waited. Waited.
An hour passed and then two, but Cass stayed put. Finally, a loud horn blew and the ship slowly started to depart. It ran directly in front of the bright, setting sun, making the usually happy sunset a very grim one. Cass dug deep in one of her dress pockets and pulled out a white linen handkerchief. Waving it, she swore she saw her love, her fiancé, Alan, on the ship’s deck. A large wind picked up and blew the cloth out of her hand and onto the ocean. A simple reminder that love always prevails in some way.
this tender selfmetamorpoiesisi have returned with the swell

What is to give light must endure burning. – Viktor Frankl




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That was really good. I didn't really understand what the music thing was, or what it had to do with the story, but it was really cool nonetheless. Your description of everything was amazing! I could picture everything perfectly, and the emotion was so real! Amazing job! Keep writing, please!
Forever for All <3

MUSIC RULES! :)

Everyday is Earth Day! :D




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Hello there. :)

I'll begin with the nitpicks... well I don't think you have much. :)
Cass’ voice rose, her anxiety increasing.

He dared look up into Cass’ eyes and he saw uncontrolled anger.

When there's a name that finishes up with 's', you don't have to add an apostrophe s, just an apostrophe.
Cass’ face flashed with fury and then it relaxed.

Alan then pulled Cass’ face to his and kissed her long and hard.

Well... It's the only mistake you've made, and I just decided that I would point out where you made them, so it would be easier to correct.

Overall, this is pretty good. I love it, but I have to admit that the story is cliche. It's nothing I haven't read before. But you definitely made it worth it. :)

Keep writing!

-Other One
Behind every mask, lies a man that can't live in his own skin. - Woe is Me <3
Need a reviewer? I don't bite, I promise. :) ---> viewtopic.php?f=188&t=76466




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Hey, I thought it was really good. I think that it's overall a good piece. Although i thought that you could improve in some sections, i think that what you maybe could do is put all the piano things at the end-just an idea. But i think that, that is all great.

it's good otherwise.

Harpo




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It was meant to be cliché, actually. Perhaps I should have specified that :P

Lavvi
this tender selfmetamorpoiesisi have returned with the swell

What is to give light must endure burning. – Viktor Frankl



you ever say spidgit finner unironically?
— FireEyes