autopsy

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Jane Doe #21532323
lies naked on the table before us. Her eyes are closed,
the coroner explains,
because they will always be the exact shade
of someone we know.
A white sheet is draped demurely
across her pelvic bones,
but her breasts are exposed, livid in the cold steel air.
The girl next to me offers kiwi-cherry lip gloss
to smear under my nose.
This, forever, is the smell of medical school:
death and chemicals
and tropical fruit.

When the coroner incises the sternum and
breaks her ribs to show us her heart
I remember cutting up meat on a stainless steel tray;
a tasteless and unforgettable association.

We get in line to fumble through
organ and tissue and blood to
see what went wrong.
The boy beside me
lingers too long in the thoracic cavity,
prodding muscle and membrane and bone
for something uncharted, some glittering thing
that has no representation in Becker's Human Anatomy, Vol. 1.
His eyes are like a black bruise, too dark and
too tender. Needlessly, he averts his eyes when the coroner
strips the sheet from her waist. Already
he forgets she is beyond shame.
Watching him touch her cold hand
in comfort, unobtrusively, I wonder
why any of us are really here.
(physician heal thyself)

The others shuffle, impatient
for their turn to label aorta and myofascia and pericardium,
but the boy hesitates with the point of his scalpel resting
on her right atrium, unwilling
to commit her to ashes in his mind until
he finds some evidence that we are more
than the sum of our formaldehyde soaked parts.




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Wow your poem is amazing can't believe no one's replied!
This bit's my favourite (would call it evocative but don't know if it's the right word!)

"unwilling
to commit her to ashes in his mind until
he finds some evidence that we are more
than the sum of our formaldehyde soaked parts."
Martyr of Banality... such a joy in life... such happiness... such a desire to just implode...




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Wow, this is a great poem. It really had good imagery and I loved it. Good work.

-*Twinkles
*~*Shining through the dark black night...Twinkling Starz*~*




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An excellent poem. So clinical straightaway because of the numbers.

"This, forever, is the smell of medical school:
death and chemicals
and tropical fruit.
"

What a great sentence - really makes the scene a lot more personal. Most people wouldn't be able to relate to a dead body, but they can relate to this.

"When the coroner incises the sternum " - I'm probably being too picky here, but to me, although there's nothing technically wrong with the word 'incises', it just doesn't seem to fit here. When I'm reading it it just sits a little uncomfortably, and jars a little. But, that could just be me.

" something uncharted, some glittering thing
that has no representation in Becker's Human Anatomy, Vol. 1.
" - is this a cancerous tumour?

My one other crit would be that the medical language could put some readers off. Personally I find it fascinating.

Like Poppi, I love the last four lines or so.

I really enjoyed this poem. Is it based on personal experience?

My dad's a doctor and told me about his med school years, how he and some other trainee doctors spent a year or so dissecting an 80 year old woman. I wonder which one's more disturbing? An autopsy on a young person, or on an old person?

Anyway, I'm warbling on!

Well done.
Ronaele : )




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For me, I got a little to caught in all the long words that I didn't understand, but honestly, I think that it's part of the reason it works. I can't come up with anything to crit on this, but I just wanted to drop in and at least let you know that I read it.
The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief. ~William Shakespeare, Othello
Boo. SPEW is watching.




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Great poem. Really good imagery, which gets the reader to really see and imagine whats going on.

Oh yeah, but the long words...eek.
Gotta a find a woman be good to me,
Who won't hide my liquor, try to serve me tea.




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Re: autopsy.


For: faith



I have been to autopsies, and they are pretty horrible to witness by a non-professional. Having said that, I do not think this is really a poem. The last two lines work, I think. And the notion that the cadaver's eyes are the shade of someone we know is interesting. The rest seems to me to be journalism. My opinion.


Sorry,

Brad



I have my books and my poetry to protect me.
— Paul Simon