maybe it's just me

Hi, I just wrote this poem on the go but feel free to give your opinion.

I sit still on this chair,
so confused, so alone
salty cascades of water
coming from my eyes.

It's just me,
scared to ask for help,
I convince myself that I am not weak,
day after day I hide behind this armor.

Tired from doing so much alone,
no matter how hard I am working
the result is the same,
what a sense of frustration.

I sit still on this chair,
so confused, so alone
salty cascades of water
coming from my eyes.

As I keep on thinking
I am hit by fear,
time is passing by,
I wish I could turn the clock back.

From a distance I hear a phone ringing,
as I pick it up I hear your voice,
so warm so happy
you make me smile.

Tears of happiness are now
completing my day
maybe I am not so alone,
maybe it's just me,
maybe I should stop hiding behind this armor.

i really liked the way this poem flowed. i liked the whole "lonliness" thing since it fit when eventually the main character was pulled out of the slump. i have a question, what does armateure mean? (: haaha

The only thing that i didn't like was how it ended really quickly and there were a couple of lines that were short and unnecessary.

I liked this poem. I dont know why, but I liked it ^^. It brought up the feeling of loneliness (which was the point), and you ended it well (although a little short). Good job!

~The Perverted Iguana

Hi, thanks for the reviews. PaperNessa ... sorry I meant armor, the problem is that I speak Italian where you translate armor into "armatura" I am now assuming that you probably know that it was a protective covering which was used in the past during war to avoid the person getting inflicted by an object :p ... in my case it was a figurative way in saying that the person tends to act so strong that the image she gives doesn't let people see that in reality she is crying for help and she fears that showing her weak side she will get hurt.

I do like this.
But I found it hard to follow and it a little muddled. I am at a wonder of what was actually happening and what this was about.
Though I did really enjoy it and found it quite interesting once re-read. The feeling of loneliness is strongly emitted which I enjoyed.
Overall a good piece.

thank you

This is a nice, emotional piece.
The loneliness aspect is portrayed really well, along with a sense of self-disbelief.
I also liked the aspect of the tears turning from tears of sadness to tears of joy, it made for a nice resolution.
all I would say is the ending is quite abrupt, try balancing out the number of verses where the character is sad with the number of verses where they are happy. Although, not doing this works in your favour in a way of making it seem happiness is temporary but the loneliness lasts.
I also liked the lines at the end, your use of repetition is also good.
overall, very good and emotive.

Hi, I just wrote this poem on the go but feel free to give your opinion.I sit still on this chair,so confused, so alonesalty cascades of water coming from my eyes.It's just me,scared to ask for help,I convince myself that I am not weak,day after day I hide behind this armor.Tired from doing so much alone,no matter how hard I am workingthe result is the same,what a sense of frustration.I sit still on this chair,so confused, so alonesalty cascades of water coming from my eyes.As I keep on thinkingI am hit by fear,time is passing by,I wish I could turn the clock back.From a distance I hear a phone ringing,as I pick it up I hear your voice,so warm so happyyou make me smile.Tears of happiness are now completing my day maybe I am not so alone,maybe it's just me,maybe I should stop hiding behind this armor.
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Thanks for the constructive review Lauraxc, I'll surely try to improve it