I remember you as I hung myself.

I remember when
we used to sit together.
During nap time, at lunch,
even when we used to stare
at stars through your glass window.
I remember the first day of
kinder garden. The sun had shown so bright,
I thought it was an angel,
come to save me from the others.
You ran to me as soon as you saw me,
and became my best friend.
I remember when you ran into a post
on your brand new bike. You started to shriek,
and I ran for help.
I remember the day Jimmy broke
your heart in seventh grade.
You came over to my house,
and told me how he hurt you.
My mom let you spend the night,
we were like sister.
I remember when you told me you cut
yourself in eighth grade. I cried for you,
and fought with my self about telling your mom.
Of coarse, I could. not
I remember a lot of thing that came to pass between
us before that summer I never saw you.
We were fighting.
I thought the fight would not last.
I remember watching the ambulance
screaming down our street.
I did not know that it was towing your
comatose body to the hospital.
I remember the news the next day.
How a 16 year old girl thought,
suicide was her only option.
I remember your funeral.
Head cast down,
their tears spilling on the grass.
I did not cry for you.
You did not deserve my love anymore.
They starred at me with hate burning in their eyes.
I swear they condemned me as your final blow.
I remember fallowing in your footsteps.
I remember you not being there for me like you always
promised you would be.
I remember it being to late to change my mind,
as I hung my self.

I remember when
we use to sit together.
During nap time, at lunch,
even when we use to stair stare
at stars through your glass window.
I remember the first day of
kindergarden. The sun shown so
bright, I thought it was an angel, The spacing is really awkward here. try to get your idea into one line or two. don't chop them to bits
come to save me from the other
children that hugged their parents,
begging them not to leave.
You ran to me as soon as you saw
me, and asked if I would be your best friend. you tell this in a way where i don't even beleive you. try adding description to your ideas
I remember when you ran into a pole
on your brand new bike. You started to
cry and I ran for help, when I came back
you said that you would always be there
for me cause I was there for you. You're trying to show the simplicity of little kids but they wouldn't really say this. If you make stuff up you must make it believable
I remember the day Jimmy broke
your heart in fifth grade. You
came over to my house,
and told me how he called you names <-----at recess.
Mymom, let you spend the night,
and we spent the whole time ragging on Jimmy. not a very poetic word
I remember when you told me you cut
yourself. I cried for you, and fought with my not in character with 5th graders. You must create the character, give it feelings and mannerisms and descriptions before we'll believe it.
self about telling your mom. Now this is interesting. More conflict that matters like this please.
Of course, I couldn’t. I like
I remember a lot of thing that happened between
us that summer I never saw you, because we How could things happen if you never saw her?
were fighting. I thought the
fight wouldn’t last.
I remember watching the Ambulance
screaming down our street as they good adjective
towed your comatose body to the
hospital. how would you know?
I remember the news the next day.
How a sixteen year old girl thought,
suicide was her only option.
You were that girl. we already know this
I remember your funeral.
Head cast down,
and tears spilling on the grass. you said you didn't cry??
I din’t cry for you.
Everyone gave me evil looks, you can find a more poetic way to state this
I swear they condemned me as your final blow. explain this more, it's interesting
I remember following in your footsteps.
I remember you not being there for me.
I remember dying because you died.
I remember it being to late to change my mind,
as I hung my self.

Wow.. This was deep and highly moving. I can imagine this being something that could happen and probably has somewhere, I love it. Keep writing!