Fire

There are many literal poets who are not going to understand this poem. Please try to fully understand it before commenting, it is a tad confusing (I can see the panicked critics now) but it's supposed to be, so please don't reply with "I didn't understand." If you don't understand then this poem wasn't writen for you.

There's a fire burning bright
fueled not by air or gas.
There's a fire burning bright
and fueled by water it will last.

Don't try and set it out
cause it will burn all the more.
Don't try and set it out,
since you don't know what's it's for.

But you try to put it out.
You try to pacify it,
but you can't fight this fire
if you don't know how it started.

So learn about this fire
learn what it's about.
Learn about this fire
and you won't want to set it out.

Interesting piece, but the words themselves are a little too simplistic for me- I would suggest broadening the vocabulary a bit to make it really interesting, and maybe include some figurative language.

Also, the rhyme scheme threw me a bit- it was almost overly consistent towards the beginning and almost dominated your words, and then totally disappeared in the third stanza only to make a half-hearted return in the last stanza. I would fix it up a little bit- personally, I'm not a huge fan of rhyming in poetry, but if you're going to use it, be consistent.

Overall, nice piece. Like the concept.

-Coral-

Thanks for the advice, I'll try to see what I can do about the language. As for the rhyme scheme, this is the scheme I use in more than half the poems I write and I rather like it, and honestly the third stanza does rhyme, just imperfectly. Thanks for the advice though I'll see what I can do to make it flow a little better

I think I may have the wrong meaning out of the poem...but I'm sticking with it. The rhyme scheme was off, but I didn't notice until I read wewinwelose's review. I think it is good. I like it simple. (Big words confuse me.) Don't broaden the vocabulary! I think it is something many people can relate to.

I think all it needs is a little more detail and then it will be perfect (for me anyway.)

Oops! Sorry I meant Persephoneia! Again, I'm sorry for that typo!

I agree with the other people who reviewed this poem. You should widen your vocabulary, its too simple. More detail as well it was really short and that took away from the ability for this story to be a great poem. It is already good PM me if you have any questions about my review. Happy Holidays Jenn

Hello there

I had no problem with you vocabulary, I thought it was just right. I'm going to take a wild guess and say this 'fire' is rage deep down inside a person...well that's how I interpreted it anyway. I felt you had a good momentum in the first two stanzas. Everything looked great and there was a good rhythm. The rest, especially the last stanza made the 'fire' in the poem die down. I did not like how it ended. Although it had good intention, I believe it should be as fierce as the rest of the poem.
This was good in general.
Keep writing and good luck!

Hey there!

I liked this poem, it was quite different and made me think. I thought I had a brief understanding of what you were trying to say but the fueled by water part through me off a little. Again, like the others have already mentioned you could try to broaden the vocabulary a bit and maybe even make it longer and allow more space to think about the meaning behind him. Could just be me though, I feel like I need more information. Your idea is quite interesting and to be honest, I feel like this is a great start to something better. If you could try to really bring out the emotion in here it'd be better. Right now it's barely getting by. I'm not so sure how to help you with that, though. I'm not really much into poetry but I do enjoy reading poems. Continue working!

-Pink

Howdy, WWWL!

First off, good poem. Interesting topic and interesting wording. I'm typically more a literal person and take things quite literally a lot of the time (this has landed me in fights, which makes it kind of a big flaw of mine), but I found that I was able to understand this quite well. If I'm not mistaken, it's not just the deep, firey passion that burns deep within us, as some had suggested, but just the fire of life. If it's that, then the fueled by water part makes this make more sense. All together, I liked the simplicity of it and it's brevity, but even in simplistic poetry and stories and such a broad vocabulary can still be adapted into it. Imagery would also make the reader more attracted to this. My suggestion would be to maybe add an extra stanza solely for describing the fire that you talk about in this poem. And I mean really describe, as in what it looks like and such.

wewinwelose wrote:There are many literal poets who are not going to understand this poem. Please try to fully understand it before commenting, it is a tad confusing (I can see the panicked critics now) but it's supposed to be, so please don't reply with "I didn't understand." If you don't understand then this poem wasn't written for you.

Well, I think most poems are hard to understand, poems are like mysteries... considering some of them hide its true meaning behind metaphors and stuff. And maybe the author was writing about a feeling that the reader may not understand because maybe he has not experienced it. He may interpret it however he wants to.

So this fire is being unusually fueled, it's strage... Because I guess water would "kill" it. You can't fight with this fire, since it's not worth it. Haa. This fire is a good feeling, right? Oh, yeah... I guess this poem is about an unexpected new feeling and giving it a chance...a feeling that is unstoppable and grows bigger... 8D Oh, about the "water" part... I think I understand it now. It's like "Gasoline and Gas" is bad, and "water" is not... water is love! That's why it's being fueled with it! 8D
Hahahaha I truly love this poem. It's great! I enjoyed it a lot, honestly one of my favorite poems around YWS. Keep writing!
-Valery

"There's a fire burning bright and fueled by water it will last." Water is often seen as always moving - when given to a character, the character is calm, though emotional. I don't understand this, I think... that's why I'm going to make a sad attempt at deciphering it.
"There's a fire burning bright fueled not by air or gas." It seems to me that it's saying it's not really fire - it's just a metaphor and such. It's really the spirit of a person/a person. This first stanza, to me, is saying that fuled with emotions, the 'fire' will survive.

The second stanza is saying not to attempt to put the person down, because if you attempt that, he/she will only be stronger, and will fight back. And also not to attempt because they don't know why, or what the person is doing, why they're fighting back and so on, and it could be for a good cause, etc.

The third stanza is saying that even then, people try to push her/him down, but they can't. And since they don't know what started the confidence or strength, they can't, since they can't break what started it.

The very last stanza seems to be saying that if you learn about him/her, and see how he/she really is and not be jugdemental, you might like the person.
The first impression of fire is that it is harmful, and far too hot. Others view it as warm and welcoming, but it being seen as the enemy is basically it. So, the "fire" as the person was chosen; it's seen as the enemy, burning things down, but people don't understand it and try to put it out when its really doing no harm.

...I might be way off. I hope I'm SOMEWHERE close, though, even if only by a little bit. *sighs* Wrote all that for no reason.

Anyway, I really loved this. The "fire" was a clever use in my opinion. It's been done, but to me, you just used it in another way. I really did like this ^^

Alright, I'm gonna try and help y'all out real quick. This is just the writers interpretation and is up for changing into whatever fits the reader's state of mind:
The fire as most of you have come to find is really passion. The water however isn't litterally water of course, but it has the intention of working like "water" on this "fire." The "water" is but a metaphor for an attempt to put out the "fire" that is really a passion. This passion is supposed to be up for personal interpretation, which is why I haven broadened it to make it more specific, but I chose to think of it as life itself. The more the "water" tried to put out the "fire" the brighter the fire glows. All that this means is that the more you try to fight the fore, and the more you try to defuse it, the stronger and brighter it glows, hope this helped. goodluck and thanks for the reviews!

i really liked it but i didn't know what it was about. use more descriptive words please. keeep writing more

This was a very impressive poem, though you could use some different vocabulary, just broaden your vocabulary a bit and the poem would be great