The Christmas Code

LastPaladin wrote:
Pagan rituals to compliment the season,
to bring about the solstice to give us a reason.

Standing tall, majestic, gift to the royalty of the UK.
In the rooms they now stand, or in squares enshrined
Firs sparkle with the many toys, baubles and decor,
mistletoe catch a pair in lover's? embrace.

It began in stable or so many say?- it doesn't really seem like a question the way it is now. Maybe you can try rephrasing that line.
Uniting humanity under one cause.
A baby boy not a shock?- that line line is a little confusing.
it's hard to believe it led to so much.

One day where the world just sleeps.- this is more of a fragment, so a period really isn't necessary.Try a comma instead.
Where a war ended and celebration struck,
football and rations-a cause we can all share.
Jaded General said, "Fuck it all".- If it is a direct and exact saying, it wouldn't hurt to add quotation marks.
Igniting hatred once more.

Time that happens once a year,
it( is?) all so precious,(comma) all crystal clear.
Friends and family all cheer
anger sleeps for this day.

Truthfully... it's no more a time that bring together,
marriages fail, suicides soar and argument brew,
all in the season of joy and cheer?

Carols? sprout forth from various gizmos,
'Feed the World' and 'War is Over' guilting? us for
sec, a minute in which to think. Then gone in a flash
goosestepping to the beat of happiness and cheer.

Issued ballads over the radio,
(and?)joyous songs to make it clear.
'Season cheer is here'
bring forth the beer.

Mr. and Mrs. Brat tired and worn,
screams of indignant rage
'I didn't want that.'

Straddling the bottle of his own vice,
a sell out to kid and families alike.
Bought and sold to sell and nothing more-, or .
Santa Clause is an advert.

Poor Saint Nick in his bed,
no one comes to his dying dreams,
forgotten by those he loved and cherished
replaced by a facade of pure lies.

Lives devoured by rampant consumerist? ploys,- consumerist would sound a whole lot smoother.
'Buy this',and 'Buy that' ,so much for Holiday cheer.

Whatever the origin of this time,
whether a birth or religious beliefs,
it seriously seems >that< we lack the code to Christmas.
Unable to decrypt and retrace those lines.

Pagan rituals to compliment complement? the season,
to bring about the solistice solstice to give us a reason.

Standing tall, majestic, gift to the royalty of the UK. Using "The United Kingdom" rather than "the UK" would look better here.
In the rooms they now stand, or in squares enshrined
Firs sparkle with the many toys, baubles and decor,
mistletoe catch a pair in lover Do you mean "lover's?" embrace.

It began in a stable or so many say?
Uniting humanity under one cause.
A baby boy not a shock
it's hard to believe it led to so much.

One day where the world just sleeps.
Where a war ended and celebration struck,
football and rations a cause we can all share.
Jaded General said "Fuck it all." The use of that one particular word (take a wild guess) somewhat disturbs the grace of the poem. Cheapens it. Igniting hatred once more.

Time that happens once a year,
it's all so precious, all crystal clear,
friends and family all cheer
anger sleeps for this day.

Truthfully... it's no more a time that brings together,
marriages fail, suicides soar and arguments brew,
all in the season of joy and cheer?

Carols sprout forth from various gizmos, Interesting word choice, but I'm not sure it fits very well into the poem.
'Feed the World' and 'War is Over' guilting us for
sec What exactly does this word mean here?, a minute in which to think. Then gone in a flash
goosestepping <Another interesting word choice! to the beat of happiness and cheer.

Issued ballads over the radio
joyous songs to make it clear.
'Season cheer is here'
bring forth the beer. Haha. This line made me laugh.

Mr. and Mrs. Brat tired and worn,
screams of indignant rage
'I didn't want that.' This also I found amusing. It made me glad my youngest brother is so well-behaved.

Straddling the bottle of his own vice,
a sell out to kid and families alike.
Bought and sold to sell and nothing more
Santa Clause is an advert. Ouch.

Poor Saint Nick in his bed,
no one comes to his dying dreams,
forgotten by those he loved and cherished
replaced by a facade of pure lies. This stanza made me sad. Poor Santa.

Lives devoured by rampant consumerism ploys,
buy this and buy that; so much for Holiday cheer. Any particular reason "Holiday" is capitalized here?

Whatever the origin of this time,
whether a birth or religious beliefs,
it seriously seems we lack the code to Christmas.
Unable to decrypt and retrace those lines.

LastPaladin wrote:Pagan rituals to compliment the season,
to bring about the solstice to give us a reason.

Standing tall, majestic, gift to the royalty of the UK.
In the rooms they now stand, or in squares enshrined
Firs sparkle with the many toys, baubles and decor,
mistletoe catch a pair in lover's embrace.

It began in a? stable or so many say? I agree with Jojo about that not needing to be a question. I think you should just kick the question in mark in truth. That line seems to keep this together enough that changing it might just mess it all up.
Uniting humanity under one cause.
A baby boy (not a shock) I added the parenthesis not to say that they should be there but to signify that those words need to be pulled away from the rest of the line somehow. It would look better that way and read better, plus you wouldn't have to change the whole structure just to suit those few words.
it's hard to believe it led to so much.

One day where? (This confuses me grammatically and seems really off. I think maybe if you put a comma after "where" it'll make much more sense, being that you're interjecting a main thought. the world just sleeps.
Where a war ended and celebration struck,
football and rations a cause we can all share.
Jaded General said fuck it all. If this is where you are continuing off from the top where you interjected with that "where" then I think maybe you should add a "The" or "A" to the beginning of this. I'm not sure what it would do as far as the flow, but it'll help others in understanding the stanza and read better.
Igniting hatred once more.

Time that happens once a year,
it's all so precious, all crystal clear,
friends and family all cheer I understand that you can't put cheerful here as it would screw up the rhyme scheme you got here, but maybe so then it's more grammatically correct and helps the rhythm some, maybe try adding "a-cheer"
anger sleeps for this day.

Truthfully... it's no more a time that bring together, This line confuses me as well as far as being able to read it. Maybe you meant to have "bring" as "brings"? I'm not sure, but still thought I should point it out.
marriages fail, suicides soar and arguments? brew,
all in the season of joy and cheer? Why are you ending this with a question mark? As far as I can read, there are no questions in this. I'm thinking that maybe you misworded this whole stanza, or you added an unneeded question mark.

Carols? sprout forth from various gizmos,
'Feed the World' and 'War is Over' guilting us for
sec? (did you mean "a sec"?), a minute in which to think. Then gone in a flash,
goosestepping to the beat of happiness and cheer.

Issued ballads over the radio,
joyous songs to make it clear.
'Season cheer is here'
bring forth the beer. I think here, just to make the rhythm flow a little better, you can add either the word "so" to the beginning on this line, or add an adjective describing beer.

Mr. and Mrs. Brat tired and worn, from?
screams of indignant rage
'I didn't want that.'

Straddling the bottle of his own vice,
a sell out to kid and families alike.
Bought and sold to sell and nothing more
Santa Clause is an advert. I like this stanza the most out of the whole poem. It really sums up the old tale of Santa Clause that is used now. So many stores, businesses, corporations, and so on use Santa this time of year in an attempt to increase marketing and profits and future buyers. Sometimes I wish Santa was a trademarked or something so then no body could take advantage of him and his message.

Poor Saint Nick in his bed,
no one comes to his dying dreams,
forgotten by those he loved and cherished
replaced by a facade of pure lies.

Lives devoured by rampant consumerism ploys,
buy this and buy that (I'm wondering if you could put a hyphen here, or something to make a sort of pause. I think the pause makes the line sound better)so much for Holiday cheer.

Whatever the origin of this time,
whether a birth or religious beliefs,
it seriously seems we lack the code to Christmas.
Unable to decrypt and retrace those lines. I think that maybe you could switch the lines around on this some if that makes sense. I just don't think that last line fits well as an ending. But, that's just my personal opinion. It's still your creative judgment.

LastPaladin wrote:Pagan rituals to compliment the season,
to bring about the solistice to give us a reason.

Standing tall, majestic, gift to the royalty of the UK.This somehow doesn't seem quite fit to be the hook of a poem
In the rooms they now stand, or in squares enshrined
Firs sparkle with the many toys, baubles and decor,Baubles is a great word
mistletoe catch a pair in lover embrace.

It began in stable or so many say?What purpose does the question mark serve?
Uniting humanity under one cause.
A baby boy not a shock
it hard to believe it led to so much.

One day where the world just sleeps.
Where a war ended and celebration struck,
football and rations a cause we can all share.
Jaded General said fuck it all.
Igniting hatred once more.

Time that happens once a year,
it all so precious all crystal clear,
friends and family all cheer
anger sleeps for this day.

Truthly... it's no more a time that bring together,
marriages fail, suicides soar and argument brew,im getting mixed messages from this poem... is it cheerful, spiteful? please explain!
all in the season of joy and cheer?

Carol sprout forth from various gizmos,
'Feed the World' and 'War is Over' guilting us for
sec, a minute in which to think. Then gone in a flash
goosestepping to the beat of happiness and cheer.

Issued ballads over the radio
joyous songs to make it clear.
'Season cheer is here'
bring forth the beer.

Mr and Mrs Brat tired and worn,
screams of indignant rage
'I didn't want that.'

Straddling the bottle of his own vice,Nice stanza
a sell out to kid and families alike.
bought and sold to sell and nothing more
Santa Clause is an advert.

Poor Saint Nick in his bed,
no one comes to his dying dreams,
forgotten by those he loved and cherished
replaced by a facade of pure lies.

Lives devoured by rampant consumerism ploys,The second line does not do the first justice! Such a strong opening, and then falls flat
buy this and buy that so much for Holiday cheer.

Whatever the origin of this time,
whether a birth or religious beliefs,
it seriously seems we lack the code to Christmas.
Unable to decrypt and retrace those lines.