Falling Tears

This some thing I free wrote. So I hope you Like it.

Hearts breaking
Friends leaving
Tears falling
Like petals from a flower

Frown covered
Smiles levered
Hopes lowered
Reasons for dreams dispersed

Times of happiness gone
Faces becoming long
Hearts becoming strong
Like many think them wrong

Non understood
Hoping they could
Faces under a hood
Non believed they would

Reasons dying
Faces lying
People crying
Hope ever ending

When time continues
Hearts will be renewed
Lives will continue
While theirs are altered

Hearts breaking
Friends leaving
Tears falling
Like petals from a flower - nice description. This was my fave stanza of the whole thing, and you could have made a nice short poem out of it, if you had continued in that sort of style

Frown covered
Smiles levered
Hopes lowered
Reasons for dreams dispersed - as soon as I read this, it took away from the nicenss of the first stanza...I think you should have continued with the description of what it was like...and 'reasons for dreams dispersed' doesn't make a picture

Times of happiness gone
Faces becoming long
Hearts becoming strong
Like many think them wrong - this is good, except for the 'hearts becoming strong' line, which sort of didn't go with the poem, unless it means that whoever it is, is getting stronger from the troubles...?

Non understood
Hoping they could
Faces under a hood
Non believed they would - the use of 'non' again isn't good....unless you mean 'none'???

Reasons dying
Faces lying
People crying
Hope ever ending - its ok...the only thing I liked was the 'reasons dying'

When time continues
Hearts will be renewed
Lives will continue
While theirs are altered - a bit too different from the rest, but still nice

Well, I don't know if I liked this, but it was interesting. the story line was a bit cliche, and repetetive. If you want to have a 'happy' line at the end of each verse, maybe find some more expressive words, to get the idea across better.

Good job, but needs work

It was severely lacking for me. I didn't feel anything throughout the whole thing. You're talking about hearts breaking and things like that, and all I'm seeing is a bunch of words on the screen. I think you could have done better.

P.S. Yeah, there was no emotion in it at all, actually...its like its from a third persons point of view, not yours.