Never Forgotten

I think I'm starting to be a poet, and this is the start of my line of poetry. Please be honest and tell me what you think, but too harsh Oh and I hae realized that this probably isn't Narrative Poetry and probably Lyric Poetry or Dramatic Poety.


It’s hard to let go
Of the things I once did
The people I used to know
The experiences I felt

It’s painful to say goodbye
And just walk away
Forgetting that it was an important part of my life
Knowing that it was only yesterday

A new chapter has begun
One filled with smiles
And more good memories
It almost makes me forget

But,

My old life was merely thrown away,
Not gotten rid off
It’s a never ending disease
It will occasionally get better

But no matter where I am I can’t escape
And it clings on forever,
No matter where my new life has begun

This isn't too bad, but I can tell you're still learning. My suggestion would just be (for writing anything, poetry especially) to emphasize the emotional aspect of everything, so you show instead of tell. Lines like "I go..." or "I am..." are just kind of dry. Instead, try putting what you want to say in a more poetic and emotional way.
Keep writing,
StoryWeaver

lilgreendots wrote:I think I'm starting to be a poet, and this is the start of my line of poetry. Please be honest and tell me what you think, but too harsh

It’s hard to let go
Of the things I once did
The people I used to know
The experiences I've felt

It’s painful to say goodbye
And just walk away
Forgetting that it was an important part of my life
Knowing that it was only yesterday

A new chapter has begun
One filled with smiles
And more good memories
It almost makes me forget

But,

My old life was merely thrown away,
Not gotten rid off
It’s a never ending disease
It will occasionally get better

But no matter where I am I can’t escape
And it clings on forever,
No matter where my new life has begun

This is an ok poem in my opinion. I think its a little to vague, you hint a lot about your old life but you never say more than that. I think if you could hint why your old life was so horrible it would be better.

Keep writing, I think you've got potential!!
Alzora

I loved this poem, but it seems kind of bland. Like "blah" you didnt really explain what happened, or why you had a new life,and isnt that the whole point of this poem? You did good at describing but not to the point of excessive detail. You have a nice start and a nice finish just clean up what's in between. I've gotten some harsh reviews and it upsets me so I'm trying to be honest but not make you feel four inches tall. Anyways, I loved the title it caught my eye. You did good, keep practicing!

Hi,
I'll be straight, but constructive. Firstly, i'm not a fan of poems like this. It's a little generic. I think the whole point of being a poet is to write about things which interest you, you are passionate about or even personal experiences. Therefore, I do feel this is a little ambiguous. It doesn't really evoke emotion in the reader, it seems more like song lyrics which tend to be a bit more vague and general. Also, did you intend not to have any punctuation in this? Some poems don't for effect and it works, but here I feel punctuation would have made it read better.

lilgreendots wrote:It’s painful to say goodbye
And just walk away
Forgetting that it was an important part of my life < I think this line is a bit too long
Knowing that it was only yesterday


My old life was merely thrown away,
Not gotten rid off
It’s a never ending disease < Good metaphor and imagery
It will occasionally get better

But no matter where I am I can’t escape < This lines a little difficult to say and a bit too long I feel.
And it clings on forever,
No matter where my new life has begun

This is good
I really like this; it's so emotional...
I can't really think of anything to say; as far as I can see, there's nothing to critisise either
Good job; and keep on practising and practicing, I want more!
I love poems like this xxx