I Wouldn't Change You

5 posts
Random avatar
Gender None specified
Points 300
Reviews 0
I hate that when you love me, for you it means nothing.
To me it means the world.
I hate that you watch me move forward,
and still you wish to stay in one place.
I hate that I can't imagine leaving you.
I hate that I still smell you on my skin.
I hate even more that I can't convince myself to scrub you off.
You hate my art.
I hate your attitude.
I hate that I want to hurt you,
almost as much as I hate that I can't.
I hate that you matter to me
less than I hate that you don't matter to yourself.
I love how you hold me;
it's like everything is in your arms.
I love how you look at me
but hate that it's because you think I'm not watching.
All these things I hate are in the one person,
and yet I've never loved anyone more.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 1761
Reviews 29
Hello best friend!
Glad you joined this freakin' sweet site.:D

You're little piece here has really inspired me to write again!
I love the contrast of love and hate and how effortlessly you make them flow side by side.
I'm guessing this is something you live, and I hope things are ok. :/.
But other than that it made for a really awesome piece of writing!
We all die. The goal isn't to live forever, it's to create something that will.
[Chuck Palahniuk]




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1177
Reviews 15
Heya

I really liked your work! Like your friend said before, I love the contrast between love and hate. Like sweet and sour. The rhythm made a great flow. Can't wait to read more of your work!

MissMadHatter
~Trovare un amico e` trovare un tesoro~




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 7340
Reviews 205
Wow this is really touching.
I really enjoyed this. Aww it has me teary eyed. *Sniffles*

Just in you last line it didn't make that much sense;
All these things I hate are in the one person,
and yet I've never loved anyone more

Maybe try;
And even though these things are in the one person I hate
they're also in the only person I have never loved more.

Overall this was a pretty amazing piece. It must have taken yu a good while to write.
You obviously have great talent. PM me when you write something else that needs reveiwing, I'd be happy to.
Have a merry christmas.
Kakagirl x
Got YWS?

If, when you mean to type yes you type yws, you know you belong. :P




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 5749
Reviews 106
Hello there! So basically, reading through, I found that this was just a really great poem for someone to read, especially if they feel like they're always getting the short end of the stick. I enjoyed reading this take. It was refreshing, and different -- instead of pointing out all the "I love yous", you pointed out all the "I hate yous" that you love.


I hate that you matter to me

less than I hate that you don't matter to yourself.

Wow. I found this was a really great line -- something just popped. I think it was the way we could just imagine how broken the person really could be.

I love how you look at me,

but hate that it's because you think I'm not watching.

I think we just needed a little comma there.


OVERALL:
Now, other than that, I thought that this was a really great way to put this. How love isn't perfect -- it just doesn't happen that everything falls into place. There are a lot of struggles that a couple has to go through. I really enjoyed this, because the beginning of it made us feel as though you were just poking at all the flaws of a person, but then I realized that you were just pointing out how much you love the little flaws. Love is imperfect, which is what makes it so perfect.

Keep it up; this was great.

Merry typing.
"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.

Give him a mask and he will tell you the truth."

-- Oscar Wilde



they say money can't buy happiness, but what they don't realize is that money *can* buy novelty socks.
— blueca