Red is of fiery hells An eternity of anger welled up inside Anger splashes my hopeless rants red upon the paper
Thanks Renn for the last line
Last edited by Eniarrol on Wed Dec 22, 2010 3:13 am, edited 1 time in total.
A hero isn’t defined by winning. Loads of heroes die in the effort. Most of them never get any recognition. No, a hero is just somebody who does the right thing when it would be far, far easier to do nothing.
Red is of fiery hells Should 'hells' be plural? In this instance I think it might not work. Etirnity of anger welled up inside It is spelled 'eternity', and I believe it would flow better if you added 'an' before the second line. Of red I scribble my hopeless rants I don't think this fit in with the other lines in the way that it didn't flow like the others, maybe something like 'Anger splashes my hopeless rants red upon the paper'? But it is your poem. Very good.
'Evil exists in all of us Torak. Some fight it. Some feed it. That is how it has always been.'
"There is always a choice," said Torak, and he backed off the cliff.
Short poem, but great meaning. It might be a little better if it was a little longer though, but is your poem.
God gives us our relatives - thank God we can choose our friends. - Ethel Watts Mumford A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. - Walter Winchell “I’ll Surprise you, I promise” -Adam Lambert
yeah i agree it was a bit short but I still loved it. Great meaning and I think you successfully executed the poem how you planned great work keep up the writing!!!!
_From Me_____ =) CuteJackRussell =)
Hello, I doubt you will take the time to look at this signature, you are all busy people and I respect that, but if you do know this. Every bit of criticism on my writing has helped and every bit of advice you have given me has also helped. So thank you, for everything. From CuteJackRussell xoxox
