Why do I love You?

3 posts
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Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 11
You give to me hope,
And help me to cope,
When life pulls me down
You bring me around.

You teach me to care,
And help me to share.
You make me honest
With kindness the best

From you I learned love,
With grace from above.
It's for you I live
And I want to give.

You are the reason
That fills the season,
When I hear love I think of you
You are my world and my best friend too

I love you because you are so kind,
Thoughtful and caring
I love you because you are so pleasant,
Lovely and sharing.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1040
Reviews 3
I thought it was a good poem with an honest message and solid writing, but what I didn't get was the last stanza.
I love you because you are so kind,
Thoughtful and caring
I love you because you are so pleasant,
Lovely and sharing.

I wasn't sure if this was intentional or not, as the rhyme pattern is a b c b instead of a a b b which you have used in the previous lines.
I would suggest either rewording or reconstructing the final lines, but overall I thought it was a lovely poem.

Amy.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 2830
Reviews 114
I loved the rhyme setup but it felt a little forced at the end because you added to the length, but that's just my thoughts. Overall, well done!
If you want to be a great writer, don't think about what you're going to write, just write it.

I'm a huge fan of writers block! When your brain halts, with no direction for where you should go, it gives you threads. All you have to do is pull and unravel the story you're meant to write.



All my life I've wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific.
— Jane Wagner