.

blackbird12 wrote:as the sky unravels
its chemise of cirrus,loving these word describing really well
you say that a man’s bare torso
is flexed on the full moon,
his limbs flung outward
in the languor of the night.sorry not understanding this bit

the crushed shells snap at our feet
as we dive into the surf,
borne along by unseen hands,
our bodies folding and then reopening
as one
like waves with the tide.good description

we swim towards the horizon, where
the man in the moon dips his throat
to the sea—

but the undertows throw
their arms about my ankles
and our knotted fingers begin to untie,

plunging—

until your hand closes
around my wrist,
lifting me like an anchorromance used really well
and together we break the surface,
the stars unhooking above us
as we join once more.

blackbird12 wrote:as the sky unravels
its chemise of cirrus,
you say that a man’s bare torso
is flexed on the full moon,
his limbs flung outward
in the languor of the night. Gorgeous imagery- I have to wonder though, what exactly are his limbs? Are they the stars? You kind of lost me in the second to last line. :/

the crushed shells snap at our feet
as we dive into the surf, Especially love these two lines- very concise, but they bring up many memories from the beach with snapping shell sounds.
borne along by unseen hands,
our bodies folding and then reopening
as one
like waves with the tide. Great stanza altogether- the "as one" line kind of threw me off rhythm for a moment, but then it fell into an even better one- I might put a comma after that line though.

we swim towards the horizon, where
the man in the moon dips his throat
to the sea—

but the undertows throw
their arms about my ankles
and our knotted fingers begin to untie,

plunging— Nice use of emphasis- really creates a climactic point in the piece.

until your hand closes
around my wrist,
lifting me like an anchor
and together we break the surface,
the stars unhooking above us
as we join once more.