Voices, chaos,ideas
I try to say something
but is almost like being invisible.
this constraint of not being able to be heard;
I try to understand as they talk
I convince myself it's normal, it's ok.
I close myself into my own shell
again and again,
they are not listening,
there's a barrier of misunderstanding between us
I am so close yet so far;
as I watch them from a distance I can't not notice
their easiness of talk,their privilege of being heard.
There I am behind the scene,
everything around me feels like moving,
I am left in this state of subdue,
I can't take it anymore
I decide I need to take action.
This monster inside me is building progressively,
I let it take over me because I know he will have the courage
the courage to say what I can't express
No more tears to be wasted on futile things,
I am ready and anger is my fuel
although its excess is consuming me,
my soul is almost darkened.
Going in that room and giving my say seems so easy
then I see their faces,
the glimpse in their eyes,their smiles
the long missed fear is back
fear to break that sense of stability,
they are so ignorant of the way I feel,
judging them is getting harder.
When it comes to take the awaited choice,
there I am,
I can't do this,
the building of anger collapsed like sand,
I decided to let it go,
all that remains is delusion.
