Wolf Heart Saga : Hidden - Prologue

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Wolf Heart : Hidden

Prologue

Shouts and screams echoed throughout the forest, coming from the clearing on it's edge. I was dragged away from the battle, for all I knew, killed soon. Everone else was back there in a fight to protect me. A fight they have already lost, for he, the man that hid in the shadows and took over my dreams, has come for me. Taking me away from my family, friends and him; the one I would die for. The air smelled of pine trees and rain, I was unable to open my eyes, my body was throbbing with agonizing pain, even my soul had scars all over it.

I should have know, I should have seen the signals instead I ignored the truth; thinking it was all a creation of my unconsciousness. The pictures of this very night hunting me in my sleep, I saw the betrayal but I thought it all a joke.

He pulled my hair, making me scream, his demonic laugh broke the silence of the forest.

"You are mine now. I have finally received what is rightfully mine." He said, his face only inches from mine, making me turn away from him.

"Master?" A confident voice said from behind me, a strong and manly voice, which I dreaded now.

"Oh yes. Just stay out of every-ones view for now. Don't worry your time will come." The man from the shadows screeched, looking at the tall masculine figure behind me. I didn't turn around nor said anything, he wasn't worth my attention any more.

"Now take her away, I have other business to take care off first." The man said. His groggy voice irritating me, making me sick. His hand let go of mine and I fell to the wet and mushy ground with a thud.

My breathing was heavy. I was tired and all I wanted to do was go to sleep, but I couldn't, not in this situation, not with two strangers around me.

A hand slid around my waist, I knew who it was immediately, but I tried to push him away, my attempt to kick him only resulted in making me more tired, fighting him was no use. He picked me up in a bridal style and ran with me through the woods, to god knows where.

I slowly shifted to sleep in his strong arms, arms which I hated so much now, which I dreaded to the core of my soul. All I wanted was for the time to go back, I wanted to be with the one I love again, be in his arms, share happy moments together, feel his soft puffy lips on mine.

And so; The hidden one, stepped into the light and brought only death and misery with him.
Last edited by Moon9x on Tue Nov 16, 2010 5:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.




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Moon9x wrote:Wolf Heart : Hidden

Prologue

Shouts and screams echoed throughout the forest, coming from the clearing on it's edge. I was dragged away from the battle, for all I knew, killed soon. Everone else was back there in a fight to protect me. A fight they have already lost, for he, the man that hid in the shadows and took over my dreams, has come for me. Taking me away from my family, friends and him; the one I would die for. The air smelled of pine trees and rain, I was unable to open my eyes, my body was throbbing with agonizing pain, even my soul had scars all over it.

I should have know, I should have seen the signals instead I ignored the truth; thinking it was all a creation of my unconsciousness. The pictures of this very night hunting me in my sleep, I saw the betrayal but I thought it all a joke.

He pulled my hair, making me scream, his demonic laugh broke the silence of the forest.

"You are mine now. I have finally received what is rightfully mine." He said, his face only inches from mine, making me turn away from him.

"Master?" A confident voice said from behind me, a strong and manly voice, which I dreaded now.

"Oh yes. Just stay out of every-ones view for now. Don't worry your time will come." The man from the shadows screeched, looking at the tall masculine figure behind me. I didn't turn around nor said anything, he wasn't worth my attention any more.

"Now take her away, I have other business to take care off first." The man said. His groggy voice irritating me, making me sick. His hand let go of mine and I fell to the wet and mushy ground with a thud.

My breathing was heavy. I was tired and all I wanted to do was go to sleep, but I couldn't, not in this situation, not with two strangers around me.

A hand slid around my waist, I knew who it was immediately, but I tried to push him away, my attempt to kick him only resulted in making me more tired, fighting him was no use. He picked me up in a bridal style and ran with me through the woods, to god knows where.

I slowly shifted to sleep in his strong arms, arms which I hated so much now, which I dreaded to the core of my soul. All I wanted was for the time to go back, I wanted to be with the one I love again, be in his arms, share happy moments together, feel his soft puffy lips on mine.

And so; The hidden one, stepped into the light and brought only death and misery with him.


I think that you meant that, but I'm not sure about it. I love the story line, at least what I think the story line is. PM me when you post another chapter!!

-Charlotte
"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." -Lucille Ball




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storyline sounds intresting, cant wait to see more.x




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wow this seems like it will turn out to be an amzing story




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Hello there. :)

I'll begin with the nitpicks and then go on with the overall impression.

A fight they have already lost,

They had? I'm not sure if this is right... I'm kind of still thinking. You can see if it still sounds right. :)

I should have known,


he wasn't worth my attention anymore.


This seems really promising, and I want to read more. The plot line seems intriguing, and apart from the verb tense mistakes, you seem like a pretty good writer. I would like you to proof read you work though... Just in case.

Keep writing! PM me if you need any more reviews, or when you have a new chapter up.

-Other One
Behind every mask, lies a man that can't live in his own skin. - Woe is Me <3
Need a reviewer? I don't bite, I promise. :) ---> viewtopic.php?f=188&t=76466




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Howdy
It looks like it has a lot of promise, it looks like a rather good foundation. I am a little confused though, like who the characters are so I think I would like to see stronger character development and a better outline of what is happening because it all went by so fast and the characters weren't as strong as I'd like to see them.
Pm me when you have more work done!
Steph
Write with your heart first
then with your head



Talent is something that comes from within; it has nothing to do with age.
— AURORA