I'm addicted to helping others.

It seems crazy doesn't it? That's because it is, but I only speak the the truth. I'm addicted to helping others. It seems great, like a wonderful thing, but that's to a person who has not been through it. My science teachers says my addiction is a gift, but to me it feels like a major problem.

I have been training myself for the past two years, to be able to hear a pencil drop as if it were a bomb. If one falls in class I must pick it up, even if it is five desks away, I must get up out of my seat to get it. It is like my high. Helping others makes me so happy.

It's becoming a problem now. I started helping others, because I thought it would end people bullying me, but now I'm scared if I don't stop their cruel words will arise again. I am terrified of what others think, though some say I'm a good person, I do not believe. They spent so many years telling me lies about myself, that it just became easier to believe then to deny. Everyone says I'm so smart, and I'm recognized a "Gifted," but what does that matter if my peers will not accept me.

Most probably still think of me as the little girl they teased on the playground, but am not that anymore. I am a shattered soul. Ripped piece by piece from their incessant teasing, and I used my addiction to try a piece it back together. I escaped one hardship, but have dug myself too deeply into my addiction, and can't find a ladder too climb out.

Maybe someday my world will change. Maybe I will lead them all. Maybe someday i will have the courage to show them all how much they have hurt me. But until then i must deal with my addiction and broken soul, alone.

Mickeystwin33 wrote:Everyone says I'm so smart, and I'm recognized a "Gifted," but what does that matter if my peers will not accept me.

This quote was the one that stuck in my mind when reading this piece of work. Just to gramatically fix it, replace the period with a question mark as it seems you are asking a question and not declaring a statement.

In the end, it does not matter if no body accepts you in my point of view, what matters most is the image that you set yourself with (and the degree you honor yourself with as well). You can help as many people as you would like, but one thing for sure is that not all of them will be willing to help back. That's life; you give and are supposed to expect no return.

The following quote came to my mind as I was reading:
If the world seems cold to you, kindle fires to warm it. ~Lucy Larcom
The fires that warm this cold world may varry from person to person depending on his or her personality.There are times that call to be nice and people who are helpful are quite rare. It won't be long before someone actually realizes your good deeds, but for now stay optimistic for you are quite remarkable as they say. One last word, be careful of who you help for some may only manipulate it for their own good!

Yeah i agree with the reply above. Helping people won't make people like you. People don't always want or need to be helped. You could focus this in another way. Do some volunteering, at a charity shop or something like that. Help your parents round the house. You could ask elderly neighbours if they need help with anything: cleaning, mowing the lawn etc.
The main thing is: see if people want your help before you give it.

I too am an over-helper of other people. However, I didn't understand some of your logic here. Helping other people doesn't end bullying, it isn't an addiction- you can do it too often and go out of your way sometimes, but it's become habitual, not addicting. I would consider rewording some of the ideas to reflect that. Overall, nicely written- like your use of language.

-Coral-