mu-shu

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Petals falling
like the paper climax
to a chinese firecracker – the kind
you find in striped tents in mid-size
american cities beside the summer evening
midas touch of fifty cent sparklers and
the broken molar of a
snap-dragon thrown outside
in the driveway on the forth of july.

A world where everything
is made of paper, including
the lanterns. Smug whale-ribbed
lanterns that hang in red abacus –
each with a cutless of light
held in their paper bellies. A thirsty
gobi red, like the sun burned through
ricepaper eyelids. All on a the new year's eve
of the year of the dog.

Someone's windowsill geraniums:
a bobbing and bearded red
sidestreet dragon.

Bazaars and bicycles –
old beach cruisers ridden by
university students raised in cities
of babel architecture of nine dialects
of two lit candles against the wind,
the butterfly weight
of a teacup in grandmother's hand
ancient as scrolls, dead sea
of her divination lines.

Gunpowder, literature
car factories. The yellow river panting
and moving as slowly as
the year of the dog. The carp creak
of fishermen in the bay, christless
and the blurt of sparrows
over shantytowns.

600 wires
an hour, 6600 a day,
fingers breaking like circuits,
like ripples over the reflection
of the moon.




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Points 1512
Reviews 33
Eli wrote:600 wires
an hour, 6600 a day,
fingers breaking like circuits,
like ripples over the reflection
of the moon.


Beautiful, wow. This is pretty interesting. Sadly not to be rude this is the only stanza I found meaning in. Again, sorry but you need to hear this from someone and it might as well be me! I like this part because of the discription. This makes the poem seem very alive. I felt spark in the part where you wrote.
Eli wrote: fingers breaking like circuits,
but over all this was okay. Keep up the good work! Describe! (:

-Soggy
Life isn't like a box of chocolates. Life is more like a jar of Jalapenos, what you do today might burn your rear tomorrow!




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Gender Female
Points 1477
Reviews 31
This is really lovely!
Great flow, great description, quite mysterious and elliptic as well!
I like it, it's the sort one can read again and again and again and still find something new in it.
Well Done!



If you have a dream, you have a duty to make it come true.
— Marco Pierre White