WHATIFS

Last night while I lay thinking here ,Some whatifs crawled into my ear, And pranced and partied all night long and sang their same old whatif song:

Whatif my head blows up?
Whatif i turn into a cup?
Whatif my memory gets erased?
Whatif I get stuck in a maze?
Whatif the whole world gets destroyed?
Whatif I get trampled by a giant toy?
Whatif the moon falls in a river?
Whatif i get pneumonia and start to quiver?
Whatif all of england turns dum?
Whatif an angry mob kills my mum?
Whatif my brain shrinks to the size of a pea?
Whatif I go blind and cant see?
Whatif I get bullied by people at school?
Whatif I drown in a swimming pool?
Whatif I end up as a lonely ghost?
Whatif I choke on a piece of toast?
Whatif my hair changes colour to white?
Whatif I get into a serious fight?
Whatif I get stuck in a hole underground?
What if I lose a million pounds?
Whatif I forget how to read a book?
Whatif I never learn how to cook?
Whatif I grow so very tall?
Whatif I one night I get locked in the mall?
Whatif I start to meow like a cat?
Whatif I eat alot and become very fat?
What if a spaceship lands on my head?
What if a die by falling of my bed?

Everything seems swell ,And then the night time whatifs strike again!!!

The red bit is what i made up and the grey bit is from a poem

Hello there, Crystalkitten, and welcome to YWS. You might want to get around to reviewing other members' stories and/or poems. It will get you the points you need to post works, and it's a really good way to make friends.

Last night while I lay thinking here ,Some whatifs crawled into my ear, And pranced and partied all night long and sang their same old whatif song:

Oh dear. It looks like your formatting got messed up. You can fix this up by looking up into the upper right-hand corner of your post and clicking the "Edit" button. It will bring you to a screen were you can edit your post and add in all the lines.

That said, what poem are these lines from? If you use lines from another poem in your work, you should give credit to that work by mentioning its name and author somewhere in your post. Using writing other people did without giving them credit can actually get you into big trouble (it's called plagiarism, and it is very serious).

Just give the original author credit and you'll be fine.

As for the section you wrote, while I'm sure the what ifs are important and interesting to you, in their current form, they aren't very interesting to others. There are a couple of things you can do to make them more interesting, however. :D

The easiest way to make your poem more interesting to other people is to include imagery. Imagery is basically the poetry term for descriptions. I'm sure you've heard "Show, don't tell before", and the same principle applies to poetry. Telling is boring. Instead show us the things your talking about in an interesting way, and don't be afraid to get creative with your descriptions.

Have fun writing, and I hope to see you around.

ok thanks
i hope you liked the bit i wrote