Cry

You can’t see peace, only hate
Its all resting on the shoulders of your name
You can’t see truth, only lies
You can only see the world through troubled eyes

You can’t see birth, only death
You have lived to see your lovers final breath
Do you see my guilt, Should I feel fright
Is the fire of hesitation burning bright?

You and I have lived through many things
I can hold on to your heart
I wouldn’t cry for many things
But don’t go and tear your life apart

I can see fear and I can see fate
I have seen the look of anger on your face
And if you want to talk about what will be
Sit with me
And cry

Hey Dreams
Your title, as simple as it is, drew me in. I'll do a quick review, my comments will be in bold and changes I suggest in red.

You can’t see peace, only hate
Its all resting on the shoulders of your name why on the name?
You can’t see truth, only lies Hey, that's me!
You can only see the world through troubled eyes

You can’t see birth, only death
You have lived to see your lovers final breath
Do you see my guilt, Should I feel fright
Is the fire of hesitation burning bright ? Isn't that a question? And I love that verse by the way.

You and I have lived through many things
I can hold on to your heart This here could be written both with 'on to' or 'onto', depending on the rhythm you want... I'd suggest 'onto' since it flows best but it's up to you
I wouldn’t cry for many things
But don’t go and tear your life apart

I can see fear but I can see fate If you say but, then it would have to be 'can't see fate' but if you mean 'and I can see fate' then take out the 'but' for 'and'
I have seen the look of anger on your face
And if you want to talk about what will be
Sit with me
And cry

The rhyming pattern starts
a/b/c/c
then jumps to
d/d/e/e
And again to
f/g/f/g
Then back at
h/h/i/i
... It would be better to keep it constant throughout the entire poem, so it doesn't confuse the reader too much. But, on the other hand, your rhymes didn't feel forced at all.

I enjoyed the poem, even if I didn't quite grasp the meaning of it. You did a good choice of vocabulary and it was beautiful
Keep writing!

-Truth-

Thanks for the review I can be rather bad when it comes to spelling i actually dont think i have published anythin with out a mistake to be honest so again thanks for letting me know ill change them now

Hello Dreams,

Your tittle is really simple. So I decide to read it. Your poem flows really well.

I can see fear and I can see fateI think you should replace it with I can't
I have seen the look of anger on your face
And if you want to talk about what will be
Sit with me
And cry

Anyway, It's a good poem and keep writing to write even better.

Good luck and keep writing,

Kiki.

Good job - just a couple quick grammatical things in bold print:

You can’t see peace, only hate
It's all resting on the shoulders of your name [just remember: "its," no apostrophe, is possessive; "it's," apostrophe, is "it is"
You can’t see truth, only lies
You can only see the world through troubled eyes

You can’t see birth, only death
You have lived to see your lover's final breath ["lovers," no apostrophe, is multiple lovers; "lover's," apostrophe, is possessive]
Do you see my guilt, should I feel fright [it just feels awkward to read that line if "should" is capitalized, especially since you use a comma between the questions rather than a question mark]
Is the fire of hesitation burning bright?

Again, good job! These are really my only nitpicks.

~Blue

This is good. The title drew me in and the poem was amazing. Everyone else already pretty much covered all the grammar stuff. I don't really grasp the meaning of it either, is it supposed to be sort of mysterious so the reader can some room for imagination?

This is good. The title drew me in and the poem was amazing. Everyone else already pretty much covered all the grammar stuff. I don't really grasp the meaning of it either, is it supposed to be sort of mysterious so the reader can some room for imagination?